The following story is disturbingly common:

“Marie,” a mother in Arizona, wrote, “Nothing could have prepared me for the excruciating pain of my first delivery. I had thought that I wanted to have the full experience, so I turned down the epidural. I did fine for the first few hours, and then my water broke. The sudden, blinding pain was more than I could bear, and I was only dilated to ’3′-I had hours to go. When the nurse offered me the epidural, I gladly agreed. In fact, when the doctor was delayed because he was treating another patient, I began to panic. I couldn’t get relief from the pain fast enough. At the time, I thought, Who would knowingly go through pregnancy and delivery again? But for as much pain as I experienced that day, it was nothing compared to the spiritual suffering I experienced when that same, sweet little boy chose drugs over school, immorality over chastity, friends over family–he abandoned the Church and broke my heart.”

Mormon was not just an observer of the future; Mormon was a prophet with remedies for the latter-day epidemic of waywardness. If we parents will internalize his message, we need not stand by and wring our hands. Powerful gospel tools are at our disposal, which arm us so that we can actively attack this problem and win. The Book of Mormon, modern-day prophets, and the Lord have promised!

The Book of Mormon Parallel

To help us, Mormon chose powerful examples from his history that would correspond with his vision of the last days. Regarding waywardness, he chose the story of Alma the Elder and his son.

To set up the story, Mormon related an important incident regarding the Nephite “pioneers,” whom the Lord had delivered and brought to their land of promise. The similarity between the Nephite pioneers and our forefathers does not escape us. Those stalwart parents, who had sacrificed so much to establish their Zion in Zarahemla were now rearing children who did not believe, as had their parents. Here is how Mormon describes these children of the next generation: 

Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers. They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ. And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened. And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God.

This frightening account of children abandoning their parents’ beliefs and following paths of carnality and sin is played out in too many LDS families. Mormon made the point that no set of parents, not even the king of the land or the prophet of God, is safe from the effects of the plague of wayward children: “Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma, after his father….” Clearly, Satan can reach into any family and snatch away any of our innocent children.

No Grief is as Acute

Of course, when this happens to us, we feel grief-stricken, isolated, ashamed and guilty. In vain we internalize and personalize the child’s bad behavior: “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see this coming?” We groan under the weight of apparent scriptural indictments: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”

Perhaps worst, we feel helpless to change things. Should we employ tough love and risk destroying the relationship? Or should we silently watch and mourn and risk losing the child completely? Where are the answers? Where is power to change things?

There is an Answer

Mormon knew what parents could do. So did the ancient prophets, and so do the modern prophets. It is a common scriptural and prophetic theme. We begin with admission: the sickness of spiritual waywardness is a spiritual problem that needs a spiritual remedy. To lay the groundwork for spiritual healing to occur, we need at least three spiritual tools:

1. Perspective. We need to remember that the Fall has rendered us significantly impotent. We feel sin ever beckoning us, and we cannot escape the realities of corruption, aging, disease and opposition. Clearly, mortality is a hard experience for our children and for us.
2. Grace. We cannot make it alone. The Fall would be an impossible situation to negotiate without divine intervention and help. Only Jesus Christ can give us the strength to persevere, overcome. and do good works.
3. Strength. Strength to do what? We seek strength to change our circumstance–not to eliminate it. We seek strength to believe in and draw upon the power of the Atonement, where there is infinite power to affect a change. We seek strength to believe that the Lord is bound to us by covenant, and therefore there are promises that we can count on. We can tap into the Lord’s power and change our situation.

For parents to become agents of change and people who are capable of acting in the strength of the Lord, we must reevaluate our level of belief in the Plan of Redemption and adopt a new perspective. Perhaps we need to reexamine our faith and ask ourselves some questions.

• Do we simply believe that Christ exists, or do we believe who he really is-the Deliverer?
• Do we believe that the gospel is a nice culture, or a vibrant system of reclaiming and redemptive tools?
• Is our child’s waywardness indicative of our personal failing, or is his waywardness indicative of a divine trust?
• Did Heavenly Father foresee this season of spiritual sickness, or did it catch him off guard? 
• If he knew about it, did he plan for it? 
• Am I alone? Do I have to fret and come up with a plan to save my child, or is there already a plan of salvation in place, and I just need to learn and do my part?
• If what I am going through is a calling rather than a curse, was I prepared for it? Can I count on God making me equal to my calling?

So what do we learn from Mormon? Why did he direct our attention to wayward Alma and the wayward sons of Mosiah? The answer lies in what Alma the Elder did: He sanctified himself. Rather than put his energy into changing his son, he put his energy into changing himself, and that effort facilitated a spiritual awakening for his son.

This is the lesson that we learn from Alma the Elder: Every effort that parents make to increase their level of sanctification has a direct redeeming effect on their children. In other words, the redeemed parents partner with the Redeemer to do the redeeming. Therefore, we do not have to sit by and helplessly watch a child spin out of control. We can go to work, and the primary work we will do is on ourselves. Speaking of this principle and stating a promise, Brigham Young said,

Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang.

The gospel of Jesus Christ absolutely holds the spiritual solution for spiritual waywardness.

Divine Positioning

The gospel centers on redemption. Period. Redemption is the primary work of the Gods. Redemption is also the work that we signed up to do, because we desired to become like the Gods. Therefore, redemption is the work that we will be doing throughout eternity. Is it any wonder then that God gives us opportunities to learn redemptive skills? Clearly, God has redemption in mind when he places struggling children with faithful parents. How could we believe otherwise? Do we really believe that God, who created and organized the universe, simply rolls the dice and hopes for the best when he sends children into our families?

Elder Neal A. Maxwell called family placement “divine appointment,” or we might say divine positioning. This organizational method often calls for weak children to be placed with strong parents, strong children to be placed with weak parents, or strong individuals to marry into weak families. Why? To do the work of redemption. BYU professor, Catherine Thomas, said, “God may place spiritually challenging children in homes of spiritual and conscientious parents for their mutual benefit.”

Possibly countless ages of divine premortal observation and planning determined our children’s mortal placement. Beyond every other consideration our children’s familial placement was meant to rescue them and to magnify their opportunity to advance toward exaltation. Even the difficulties they would experience could serve to save and exalt them. Heavenly Father’s house is a house of order!

Sweeping Prophetic Promises

Of course, nothing trumps agency, and no guarantee could ever been made that a child will ultimately choose to turn from a life of waywardness. Nevertheless, these principles are so powerful that the prophets have used very little qualifying language in making universal and incredible promises. The atonement has a much greater reach than we might imagine. Joseph Smith said, “Our Heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive.”

Then come the promises:

 ”There is never a time when the spirit is too old to approach God. All are within the reach of pardoning mercy.”–Joseph Smith

 ”God hath made a provision that every spirit in the eternal world can be ferreted out and saved.” –Joseph Smith

 ”I tell you that when the prophets and apostles go to preach to those who are shut up in prison, thousands of them will embrace the Gospel. They know more in that world than they do here.”– Wilford Woodruff

 ”When the gospel is preached to the spirits in prison, the success attending that preaching will be far greater than that attending the preaching of our elders in this life. I believe there will be very few indeed of those spirits who will not gladly receive the gospel when it is carried to them. The circumstances there will be a thousand times more favorable.”–Lorenzo Snow

 ”God has fulfilled His promises to us, and our prospects are grand and glorious. Yes, in the next life we will have our wives, and our sons and daughters. If we do not get them all at once, we will have them some time…. You that are mourning about your children straying away will have your sons and your daughters. If you succeed in passing through these trials and afflictions…you will, by the power of the priesthood, work and labor, as the Son of God has, until you get all your sons and daughters in the path of exaltation and glory. This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains. Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them, or give heed to your counsels. Inasmuch as we succeed in securing eternal glory, and stand as saviors, and as kings and priests to our God, we will save our posterity.” – Lorenzo Snow

“Jesus had not finished his work when his body was slain, neither did he finish it after his resurrection from the dead; although he had accomplished the purpose for which he then came to the earth, he had not fulfilled all his work. And when will he? Not until he has redeemed and saved every son and daughter of our father Adam that have been or ever will be born upon this earth to the end of time, except the sons of perdition. That is his mission. We will not finish our work until we have saved ourselves, and then not until we shall have saved all depending upon us; for we are to become saviors upon Mount Zion, as well as Christ. We are called to this mission.” — Joseph F. Smith

“You parents of the wilful and the wayward! Don’t give them up. Don’t cast them off. They are not utterly lost. The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours–long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fulness of knowledge brings the fulness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend.”–Orson F. Whitney

“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared-and he never taught a more comforting doctrine-that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” –Orson F. Whitney

 ”Those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents. Nothing except the unpardonable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie. If children do not sin as John said, ‘unto death,’ the parents may still feel after them and eventually bring them back near to them again.”–Joseph Fielding Smith

 ”I leave my blessing upon you. May there be…a sense of security and peace and love among your children, precious children every one of them, even those who may have strayed. I hope you don’t lose patience with them; I hope you go on praying for them, and I don’t hesitate to promise that if you do, the Lord will touch their hearts and bring them back to you with love and respect and appreciation.”–Gordon B. Hinckley

Such optimism from the prophets for eventual success should kindle hope within any parent’s despairing heart. These empowering principles and promises should be good news for us. Rather than languishing in hopelessness, while watching our children die spiritually, we can employ the sanctifying principles found in the Plan of Redemption and expect miracles to happen.

And miracles do happen!

There is Hope

The powerful principles in the Plan of Salvation are within the reach of anyone who is willing to exert the effort. Is there a need? A survey of any ward in the Church or a scan of Conference talks should provide the answer. Spiritual waywardness is epidemic. You are not alone! In fact you are in good company. Some of the best parents who have ever lived have struggled with wayward children–so much so that one begins to wonder if this situation is not common to the mortal experience. Perhaps a wayward child is not a curse after all; maybe the child is a trust. Nevertheless, this epidemic was foretold in the scriptures, and a remedy was prescribed. Once parents become acquainted with these redemptive principles, miracles often happen.

The divine resources that are available to us are amazingly expansive, and the vast body of confirming evidence of eventual success is overwhelming. Therefore, to discount the Lord’s power to reclaim, even from incredible distances, or to minimize the power that the Lord has placed within our reach is to disparage the redeeming power of the infinite and universal atonement of Jesus Christ.

Absolutely, there is hope.

Invitation

This article was adapted from my newly released book Rescuing Wayward Children. I invite you to join my new Facebook group called “Rescuing Wayward Children.” 

Mosiah 27:8

D&C 68:25, 28

Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 208

M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger, Part 1,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship

For example, see 1 Corinthians 10:13; Romans 8:28; Ether 12:27

D&C 132:8

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 257

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 191

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 356-57

G. Homer Durham, ed., The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, p. 152

[xii] Daniel H. Ludlow, ed., Latter-day Prophets Speak: Selections from the Sermons and Writings of Church Presidents, p.35

Lorenzo Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, p. 195

Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine: Selections from the Sermons and Writings of Joseph F. Smith, p. 442, emphasis added

Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p. 110

Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p.110

Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, vol 2, p. 90

Gordon B. Hinckley, Address given to the Saints in Great Britain, August 1995

Often, because of their fallen nature, children do not arrive at the testimony of Jesus Christ and his redeeming gospel easily. They may struggle with spiritual concepts and more readily adopt portions of the prevailing anti-Christ philosophy:

•          To discount prophetic teachings and warnings as foolish, vain traditions and false hopes that are enslaving;
•          To view religion as the effect of a frenzied, deranged, unenlightened mind;
•          To embrace the idea that men, independently of God, succeed or fail according to individual management, prosper according to individual initiative and genius, and conquer according to individual strength.

            Our children might imagine that pursuing this philosophy is natural, and thus no crime against man or God.

The Effects of the Fall

            Whereas they were born pure and innocent, “whole…even from the foundation of the world,” sometime early in life, the Fall becomes fully in force in their lives. Blaine Yorgason explains:

“It seems unlikely that spiritual death is a single major event, or even that it occurs at age eight, when the Lord said we are fully accountable before God and therefore capable of sin. Rather, I believe spiritual death is a prolonged process that begins early in our mortal lives, perhaps before the age of eight. The Lord said, ‘Power is not given unto Satan to tempt little children, until they begin to become accountable before me’ (D&C 29:47; italics mine)…These [pre-age-eight] wrong choices are not yet accounted to them as sins, of course, for they are not yet wholly accountable: ‘Wherefore, little children are…not capable of committing sin’ (Moroni 8:8). Nevertheless, by exercising their own will through disobedience, even small children begin to become accountable before the Lord. In a broader sense, they…have begun the process of submitting [themselves] to temptation. And from that moment, it seems to me, [they] begin the process of separation from God that is called spiritual death…It seems to me…that this process of spiritual death is usually completed, at least in American society, by the time [they] are eleven, twelve, thirteen, or perhaps fourteen years old. By that age, I believe, the veil of separation, or forgetfulness, is completely in place, and [they] have, through hundreds and thousands of [their] own willful choices and decisions-submitting first to [their] own will and later to Satan’s temptations-removed [themselves] from God’s presence…and become spiritually dead. Therefore, ‘when they begin to grow up, sin conceiveth in their heart, and they taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good…(Moses 6:55; italics mine)…Is it any wonder that the hallways of our junior, middle, and high schools seem such wicked and unholy places? Even the thought of such newly spiritually dead children of God, who as yet have neither the experience nor the wisdom to see the damage of intentional, rampant sinning (which obviously seems to many of them as both fun and innocent) is sobering.”

Yorgason explains that the poor choices of youth “quickly develop into habits of disobedience,” and cause the “veil of forgetfulness.” This veil “thickens and expands until it is impenetrable, at least from [their] side, and [they] are cut off or shut out from the presence of God.”

Dr. David Dressler, when speaking to Brigham Young University students, offered a similar assessment.

“It is no coincidence that… all young people (and of some older people) who were getting into difficulties with the courts, fifty per cent showed marked behavior maladjustments before age eight and an additional forty per cent before age eleven. So ninety per cent were showing behavior maladjustments indicating emotional instability before the age of puberty.”

Those who are “asleep” don’t believe it

Those who are spiritually dead or asleep seldom believe it, and that is the ignorant state in which Satan would like to keep them. To be spiritually dead or asleep is to be “encircled about by the bands of death, and the chains of hell, [with] an everlasting destruction…await[ing] them.” Only God has the power to “awaken them out of a deep sleep” and deliver them. Until they gain a testimony of their situation, they will either wallow in spiritual darkness with absolutely no interest in or interaction with God, or they will fumble about in a kind of spiritual twilight. Speaking of this spiritual twilight and how Satan uses it to assuage our children’s hungers, Catherine Thomas wrote:

“This twilight zone is a transition state between having recognized one’s fallenness but not yet reaching to the solution. It is an attempt to accommodate the world with the gospel. This is a state of hunger and bondage-not total darkness, but hunger for something indefinable. We can recognize it in ourselves when our souls cry out, ‘Is this all there is to the gospel? Can’t I feel a richer inner experience?’ We can get stuck in this twilight because we are doing some things right, we are going through some motions, we are feeling occasional Spirit, we seem to be on the path; but still, there’s that nagging hunger in the heart that doesn’t know what it wants. People try lots of things to assuage the hunger. Alma preaches against the pursuit of the vain things of the world (see Alma 4:8): riches, power, gain, mocking one’s brother, costly apparel (see Alma 4:6; 5:53), elevating oneself above others-perhaps all in the attempt to fill the hunger inside, but counterproductive where happiness and being born again are concerned. Thus we sometimes find ourselves half in and half out of the will of God. That half-and-half state is precisely the problem and the source of our hunger. The hunger comes from the need for the most powerful nutrient a fallen human can receive: the Spirit of the Lord, the indwelling presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, the healing word of God, godliness itself. The Fall creates the hunger. Perhaps the most characteristic state of fallen man is the hunger and the feeling of darkness or spiritual twilight. Many people experience only the hunger for their entire lives.”

Many children tend to be in the thick of thin things and in the thin of thick things. They are “spiritually asleep,” left to be driven by their hungers. Who can awaken them? Who can everlastingly, not temporarily, satisfy their hungers?

Redemption–the awakening

Each child had their beginning with God, and they are on the same continuum that is intended to lead them, like God, to eternal life. Each of them has a salvation timeline, their personal plan of salvation within the Plan of Salvation. Considering that truth and remembering that our children enjoyed an exalted past, we realize that they are comprised of more assets than they may be presently demonstrating. For example, as we have discussed, they already proved valiant in the cause of truth (although presently they may be demonstrating weakness), and during premortality they developed a strong testimony (although it may be temporarily buried). Religious educator, Jack Marshall, made these and other points in an address at BYU Education Week. To paraphrase his remarks, our children, like us, build on each state of existence. They do not leave behind everything from their premortal life and start over. They may lay aside their memory of premortality, but nevertheless they bring with them their characteristics, talents, tendencies, faith, and good works (see D&C 138:53-56).

Speaking to this point, Neal A. Maxwell, quoting Joseph F. Smith, said, “When…we ‘catch a spark from the awakened memories of the immortal soul,’ let us be quietly grateful. When of great truths we can say ‘I know,’ that powerful spiritual witness may also carry with it the sense of our having known before. With rediscovery, we are really saying ‘I know-again!’ I knew before; I know again.’” Jeffrey R. Holland calls these spiritual recollections “echoes of earlier testimonies.” When properly stimulated, premortal testimonies like premortal talents will emerge and flourish. It simply remains for the Awakener to do the work of awakening.

Life is a test

So why must our innocent children be thrust into this harsh environment that seems to be programmed in every way to oppose them and ensure that they will sin? A young father asked the same question: “As I look at my boy, just learning to walk, curious about everything, three words to his vocabulary and determined to learn more, I wonder if life could get any better than this? But I also realize that life is hard and my boy will face his share of trials. I realize that someday he will sin. How inconceivable that seems to me right now. I don’t mean to sound fatalistic, but it causes me to mourn. I wish I could shelter him from life and sin, but I cannot. I commit myself to partnering with the Lord and relying on his redemptive power to navigate my son through the pitfalls of life, deliver him, and successfully shepherd him home.”

Life is a test, and the test will expose our children’s weaknesses, force them to deal with those weaknesses, and thus qualify them for exaltation. President George Q. Cannon said,

“…if any man or woman expects to enter into the celestial kingdom of our God without being tested to the very uttermost, they have not understood the Gospel. If there is a weak spot in our nature, or if there is a fibre [sic] that can be made to quiver or to shrink, we may rest assured that it will be tested. Our own weaknesses will be brought fully to light, and in seeking for help, the strength of our God will also be made manifest to us.”

The Common Denominator–Redemption

            There is another, deeper reason why our children must descend into this abysmal environment, where it is impossible not to sin. In a word: Redemption.

As we have learned, the work of God is redemption. Should we be surprised, then, that all aspects of this existence have as their common denominator redemption? This is not a sideline or hobby with God; neither should it be for us parents. If we will allow him, God will actively teach and qualify us, who once loved the work of redemption and wanted to be included in the redemptive order of Christ, to develop the power of redemption and become as he is. As we have learned, we cannot gain the power to redeem others without first having been redeemed. Likewise, our children are now given the opportunity to experience redemption. During their lives, they will sin and face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and each time they do, if they will come to Christ, they will experience deliverance and redemption, which will increase their capacity and desire to save others. When we grasp this concept, we begin to understand why substantially every encounter that we have with God has to do with redemption.

Trust in God is the ongoing theme in mortality. We never can escape it, although we try to place our trust in someone or something that we can see. Futilely, we sidle up to the influential and powerful, or we attempt to gather about us enough stuff to shelter us from life’s risks. Our children often buy into this falsehood. But trust, not stuff, is what Heavenly Father wants them to develop. Trust in God is redemptive trust–trust in his goodness; trust in his power; trust in his knowledge; trust in his love. To develop trust, which is essential to redemption, he will give them weakness as a gift. Weakness will humble them and draw them to Christ, whom they can trust to strengthen, deliver and redeem them.

Perhaps then, beyond every other reason, God places them in a situation where only he can deliver them. They must learn to come to him and trust him. This is an important part of their earthly tutorial that is best learned in the blindness and harshness of mortality. Therefore, when we see our children bow under the weight of sin and ache with the agony of weakness, we are really observing the motions of redemption at work and the triggering of our children’s personal plan of salvation. At such times, when we plead for divine intervention and do not perceive immediate response, we must not interpret the silence to mean that we have not been heard or that the plan is not working. Adam and Eve also prayed and waited; they trusted in God’s promise that he would hear their prayer and he had set in motion a process to answer it. But they did not know the details. They had no idea that their prayer had caused God to dispatch undetectable angels to assess the situation; they had no idea that these angels would become the agents of deliverance. The implications of this revelation are sobering. Why else would the Lord explain this process to us in such detail if it were not a divine pattern that we could trust?

Redemption from the Grossest of Sins

Trusting God is to trust God’s timing. Because he is perfect, his timing is perfect, and for us to urge him to change his timing is to ask him to cease to be perfect. Moreover, God’s timing is an act of mercy: God might determine to snatch out a wayward child because he knows that the child will now respond favorably; or God might wait while he patiently works with a wayward child because he knows that the child is not yet ready. Premature snatching, after all, carries with it the obligation of repentance and a full change of heart. Because “full knowledge brings full accountability,” a wayward child might rebel against God, if he were not ready, and that would bring upon him condemnation-the last thing we would want to have happen.

“But our children are still rebelling and sinning,” we exclaim. “Are they lost?”

No.

“Even if they are rebelling and sinning grossly?”

No.

Elder Boyd K. Packer said, “I know of no sins connected with the moral standard for which we cannot be forgiven. I do not exempt abortion. The formula is stated in forty words: ‘Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins-behold, he will confess them and forsake them’” (D&C 58:42-43). Clearly, except in the cases of shedding innocent blood and sinning against the Holy Ghost, we must refrain from passing judgment, deciding a fate from our poor vantage point, imposing limitations on the Lord’s saving ability, and considering that all is lost. As Mormon instructed Moroni, our obligation is to continue reaching out no matter how hopeless the situation may seem and leave all other issues, including timing, in God’s hands.

Redemption According to the Perfect Foreknowledge of God

We must remember that our children’s waywardness was foreseen and planned for by the Father, and it was completely paid for and overcome by the Son. Therefore, there is divine opportunity waiting. By the scriptural accounts of Paul, Alma the younger, the sons of Mosiah, Lamoni and his father, and the Anti-Nephi-Lehis, we should know that God can and will reach out to every wayward soul when the time is right, and if they respond when he offers to redeem them, they will become powerful in working redemption in others. Until then, we are told that the “eye of the Shepherd is upon them,” and where there is much sin the Lord offers proportionately much grace. Nevertheless, once the Lord invites them out they must come out, stay out, and ascend. Catherine Thomas explains:

“Paul wrote: ‘Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound: That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord’ (Romans 5:20-21). That is, the divine design made sin possible so that grace could abound to man to deliver man from sin. But in Paul’s words, ‘Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?’ (Romans 6:1-2). Once the Lord comes for us in the midst of our descent, we are accountable for the knowledge that he imparts. We must ascend. As Joseph Smith taught, ‘When God offers a blessing or knowledge to a man, and he refuses to receive it, he will be damned.”

The Only Principle of Joy

            Redemption comes down to this one truth that we hope we can convey to our children: The Holy Spirit is the key to happiness, and to lack the Holy Spirit is the source of misery. “There is no other principle of joy,” said Catherine Thomas, “yet how many ways do we try to circumvent the Spirit to find joy, only to find emptiness? ‘Behold, here is the agency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light’ (D&C 93:31).” The devil will attempt to keep our children in ignorance about this truth: “The most valuable knowledge is knowledge about how to get the spirit,” and thus experience true happiness. When the Lord reaches out and blesses them with this knowledge, salvation is at hand. Joseph Smith defined salvation this way:

“Salvation is nothing more nor less than to triumph over all our enemies and put them under our feet. And when we have power to put all enemies under our feet in this world, and a knowledge to triumph over all evil spirits in the world to come, then we are saved.”

All Enemies Defeated

Imagine the day when our children turn to Jesus Christ as Alma did. Then they will likewise experience the Lord’s grace as he helps them to triumph over all their enemies, and “put them under their feet,” never again to be afflicted by those evil spirits in this world or in the world to come. Then they will know as the Gods know good and evil, for engaging in a mortal experience and being redeemed was how the Gods also became Gods. First they experienced a Fall, wherein they encountered evil and sinned, whereby they were redeemed, whereby they gained the desire and power to redeem others, whereby they were exalted. It is a process that none of use can escape. It is the process of true happiness.

            Like Paul and Alma, our children are experiencing an important part of the process of salvation, and, like Paul and Alma, once they have completed it, they will be presented with a clear choice to forsake their sinful ways, experience redemption, ascend from their fallen state, and bring others up with them. This is the pattern, and this, we hope, will be their destiny.

Moroni 8:8, 12

Blaine M. Yorgason, I Need Thee Every Hour, p. 65-67

Blaine M. Yorgason, I Need Thee Every Hour, p. 65

Dr. David Dressler, “Youth in a Troubled World,” Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year, 1960, p.6

Mosiah 3:19

Alma 5:7, 9

M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger (Part 2) Man’s Descent,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship

H. Burke Peterson, “Our Responsibility to Care for Our Own,” Ensign, May 1981

Mark E. Petersen, “Sunday School Is Everybody’s Business” Ensign, December 1974

D&C 93:23, 29

Jack Marshall, Address at Education Week, 2002

Neal A. Maxwell, But for a Small Moment, p.103

Jeffrey R. Holland, “Missionary Work and the Atonement,” Ensign, March 2001

James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, vol. 3:27

D&C 109:34

Ether 12:27

Alma 36:2

Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p. 110-11

Boyd K. Packer, “Our Moral Environment,” Ensign, May 1992

Moroni 9:6

Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p. 110

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith,  p. 322; M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger (Part 2) Man’s Descent,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship

M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger (Part 2) Man’s Descent,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship

M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger (Part 2) Man’s Descent,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 297

Genesis 3:5

Why else would Mormon (who was writing only for our benefit) choose to spend so much time on the rebellion and conversion stories of Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah? Why else would he carefully glean from Nephite history the heartbreaking account of the disbelieving children, who succeeded their righteous pioneer forefathers? Why else would God inspire the compilers of the Bible to include the conversion story of the young, vile and sinful Paul, who, upon repenting, became one of the greatest apostles and missionaries in history? Is there not a last-days’ parallel in these accounts?

Nothing shall be impossible with God

Clearly, we live in the prophesied generation whose decadences and perversions rival those of Enoch and Noah’s. But we must not collapse under the crush of latter-day realities. In every situation, the Lord prepares a way of escape. Nevertheless, when our children slip off the path of safety and appear to be spiraling into a free-fall, we often panic and underestimate the far-reaching effects of the Atonement. Reminding us that “nothing shall be impossible” with God and nothing shall be impossible for us when we place our trust in God, the Lord inspired prophets to fill the scriptures with purposely-placed, extreme accounts of redemption that are often beyond the boundaries of our comprehension. Consider these examples:

The examples of Alma and the sons of Mosiah

Alma the younger, who categorized the seriousness of his sins with near murder, “became a very wicked and an idolatrous man…a man of many words, and did speak much flattery to the people…he led many of the people to do after the manner of his iniquities.” Apparently he and the sons of Mosiah established a type of secret combination to “destroy the church” and “to lead astray the people of the Lord, contrary to the commandments of God, or even the king.” They “rebelled against God” and stole away “the hearts of the people, causing much dissension among the people; giving a chance for the enemy of God to exercise his power over them.”

Few of our wayward children will sink lower than did Alma, and yet within two days of his coming face-to-face with the truth, he repented and testified that he had been “born of God,” snatched–grasped or seized hastily-from certain “everlasting burning” and “eternal torment.” Likewise, the sons of Mosiah, Alma’s companions in rebellion, who were described as “the very vilest of sinners,” repented and were promised eternal life. Again, few of our children will fall this low, and yet God found a way to rescue them and make them “instruments in his hands.”

The example of Lamoni

When Lamoni, a king so wicked that he murdered his servants merely for falling short in performing their duty, was presented with the truth, he embraced it so thoroughly that his strength failed him and he “fell to the earth as if he were dead.” Remaining in this condition for two days and two nights, he was “under the power of God…” and “the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind….” Moreover, “the light which did light up his mind, which was the light of the glory of God, which was a marvelous light of his goodness–yea, this light had infused such joy into his soul, the cloud of darkness having been dispelled, and that the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul [had] overcome his natural frame, and he was carried away in God.”

When Lamoni awakened, he bore this testimony: “I have seen my Redeemer.” Again, few of our children will achieve the gross wickedness of Lamoni, but nevertheless, the Lord was able to “snatch” him from an incalculable distance and draw him back.

The example of Lamoni’s father

Lamoni’s father, the preeminent Lamanite king, also a documented murderer, experienced a mighty change of heart when he, too, was presented with the truth. Now realizing that no quantity of possessions or continued indulgence in sin could replace the loss of his soul, he cried out to Aaron:

What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.”

Then praying mightily to God, “I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day.” Upon his cry for deliverance, the Spirit overcame him and “he was struck as if he were dead,” and when Aaron had raised him up, the old king became the missionary to his people, “ministering unto them.”

The unspoken lesson is repeated once again: few of our children will sink lower than the father of Lamoni, and yet the Lord had the power and the desire to rescue him.

They never did fall away

Upon Lamoni’s father’s conversion, religious liberty was proclaimed throughout the land, and tens of thousands of Lamanites abandoned their sins, which had been perpetuated by the wicked traditions of their fathers. The strength of their conversion carries a comforting promise to latter-day parents: once these sinners were reclaimed by the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and had become “converted unto the Lord,” they “never did fall away.”

Mormon describes them with this language: “For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God any more, neither against any of their brethren.” To distinguish themselves as people of God, they assumed the name Anti-Nephi-Lehi, “and the curse of God did no more follow them.”

They had been “the most lost of all mankind” and had committed “many murders,” and yet once they were presented with the truth and embraced it with all their hearts, they exclaimed, “The great God has had mercy on us, and made these things known unto us that we might not perish; yea, and he has made these things known unto us beforehand, because he loveth our souls as well as he loveth our children…Oh, how merciful is our God!”

Even the worst sinners can be “snatched”

Imagine, no more sin by false tradition; no more sin by choice; no more curse; no more weapons of rebellion; no more distance from God. Even the “most lost of all mankind,” who had committed “many murders,” can be “snatched” by the power of Jesus Christ from “everlasting burning and eternal torment.”

Other scriptural accounts could be cited, but these examples should signal the universality of the Savior’s redemptive power and message. Again, few of our children will approach the abysmal level of sin that these people achieved, and yet the Lord had the desire and power to reach and rescue them…in an instant! With some degree of confidence, then, we might speculate that Mormon did not choose these stories randomly; rather, he likely chose them to demonstrate that even the vilest of sinners can be “snatched” and redeemed at a moment’s notice.

Two powerful lessons

Mormon’s tight grouping of these stories, which comprise chapters 27 and 28 of Mosiah and chapters 17 through 23 of Alma, seem to indicate that Mormon was trying to drive home at least two redemptive messages:

1. Excluding the sons of perdition and those who have had the full light then shed innocent blood, no one, absolutely no one, is beyond the redemptive reach of the Savior.

2. At some time, every son and daughter of God will be presented with the full truth and given a clear choice.

Universal experiences

Clearly, the conversion experiences of Alma, the sons of Mosiah, Lamoni and his father, and the Anti-Nephi-Lehies are to be understood as universal experiences. Heavenly Father, who is both just and merciful, would not condemn his children with an immutable, eternal judgment without first laying out the truth and extending to them a choice. For beyond the issue of our sins, which by repentance can be covered by the Atonement, we will be judged by the desires of our hearts.

We are assured that the Savior will accomplish this miracle of redemption in his own time, and if there is one thing that he has lots of, it is time-all of this life, including life in the Spirit World, up until the moment of resurrection. Therefore, time is on his side. He is always on time, despite our occasional accusation that he is late. He has promised that he will not “delay his coming.” Rather, he will employ all the resources of heaven to reclaim and redeem his wayward children.

Joseph Smith’s perspective

The Prophet Joseph Smith took a long view on the redemptive process. He said, “There is never a time when the spirit is too old to approach God. All are within the reach of pardoning mercy.”

And then to give us hope, he taught: “Our Heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive.”

Because we cannot imagine redemption now does not mean that it is not on the way. And when redemption comes-and it will come-it will be as marvelous as the Redeemer, whose commission this is.

Sunday will come

We must cling to that hope, and we have every reason to expect that our hope is not in vain. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin spoke of the Friday of Jesus crucifixion as the darkest day in history. The mighty Jesus apparently had been defeated by his enemies, and the confused, devastated apostles could only watch helplessly.

But Friday’s darkness could not endure. On Sunday, the glorious Savior burst the bands of death, and the brightest day in history dawned.

All of us will have our Fridays, Elder Wirthlin said. Those days will seem as though our world has shattered and we will never be able to pick up the pieces. The he testified, “Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.”

Your feedback

I invite your feedback and stories. Other despairing parents need information and hope. Visit my website: http://www.larrybarkdull.com/.

See Mosiah 26:1-4

See Acts 9

2 Nephi 9:10

Luke 1:37

Matthew 17:20

Alma 36:14

See Mosiah 27:10

See Mosiah 27: 8-11

Mosiah 27:28

Mosiah 28:4

Mosiah 28:7

Alma 26:15

Alma 18:42

Alma 19:6

Alma 22:15

Alma 22:15

Alma 22:23

Alma 23:6

Alma 23:7

Alma 23:17-18

Alma 24:11

Alma 24:14-15, emphasis added

Joseph Fielding McConkie and Robert L. Millet, Doctrinal Commentary on the Book of Mormon, 4 vols., 1:, p.257: “Murder is thus a sin unto death,” wrote Elder Bruce R. McConkie, “at least concerning members of the Church, to whom this revelation [D&C 42], which is entitled ‘the law of the Church,’ was addressed. We do know that there are murders committed by Gentiles for which they at least can repent, be baptized, and receive a remission of their sins. (See 3 Nephi 30:1-2.)” (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, p. 231.)

See D&C 137:9

Alma 12:24

3 Nephi 29:2

Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 191

Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 257

See Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Sunday Will Come,” Ensign, November 2006

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “You face so much evil…I do not know that there was ever a time in the history of the world when there was greater evil in the world than there is today.”[1]

If you are a parent with a wayward child and feel the associated pain and guilt, maybe you should step back and go a little easier on yourself. This world is a hard place; in fact it is one of the hardest places. Because we have the inherent ability to acclimate to our environment, we get used to conditions and imagine them as normal. But not in this case. Not here on this earth.

A heartbreaking story

One writer in Idaho contributed this sad but familiar story:

“Our community in Idaho is predominantly LDS. People move here from all over the United States to escape wickedness and to give their children a fighting chance to grow up clean and safe. I wonder if such a place exists anymore.

“My sister, Lisa, began using drugs when she was twelve and in grade school. She started with alcohol and tobacco and progressed to street drugs such as marijuana and cocaine. By the time we realized what was happening, she was already in the early stages of addiction. When we did our first intervention on her, she was in the late stage of addiction and her chances of recovery were not very good. By the time she was a young adult we had already spent tens of thousands of dollars on treatment, wiping out my parents’ precious resources. Lisa’s addiction caused untold suffering for our family.

“After the second intervention, Lisa remained sober for four years, but after her third failed marriage, she began to use again and she has never stopped. She has done jail time and destroyed her health; she cannot keep a job, and she has damaged or destroyed most of the important relationships in her life. Drug addicts end up dead, in jail or insane. In rare cases and with great effort, they overcome and recover. That is our hope.

“Amazingly, Lisa is still alive, and at the moment she is not in jail. With such bleak prospects, some people ask me what keeps us going. The answer is as long as Heavenly Father doesn’t give up on her, neither will we. We love her and pray for her, and we are ever watching for yet another opportunity to help her. And if the next opportunity is not successful, we will wait for another.

“We will never give up on Lisa. We are assured that sometime, somewhere there will be another opportunity to help her, and we are doing all we can to prepare ourselves to be ready when that day comes. That is our faith and our peace.”

The battle for the universe is here

Our world is far from normal. It is the exception. This is the place where the war that began in heaven plays out–a war of gargantuan proportions and eternal and universal implications, a clash of Titans, if you will.

Here on this earth, we are experiencing the continuing conflict between the two greatest powers in the universe-their fight to the death, so to speak. We know the outcome, of course, but in the meantime, we are caught in the middle of a war that only a God could wage. And there are casualties-billions of them. This earth seems to be a frontline of a cosmic battle where sides are drawn…again. One side is for the Eternal God and his Christ; the other side is for Lucifer, the usurper and impostor, the one who would wrest the kingdom from the Father and proclaim himself god.[2]

When we align with Heavenly Father, we are at enmity[3]-enemies–with the devil, and he will use every resource at his disposal to injure and destroy us, including targeting our children. There is no mercy in him, only eternal hatred. Once in the distant past, we helped to defeat him, and he remembers. That fact alone should cause us to shudder; it should summon our constant vigilance to “watch and pray always lest [we] enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have [us].”[4] So why should we be surprised when Satan aims for us, ambushes our children, and enjoys it?

We are in good company

When our children are attacked, we can take some comfort in knowing that we are not alone. In fact we are in some pretty good company. Other righteous parents have suffered the artillery launched by Satan toward their children: Adam and Eve; Isaac and Rebekah; Jacob and Rachel; Lehi and Sariah; Alma the Elder and his wife; King Mosiah and his wife; even Joseph and Lucy Mack Smith had a problem child, William, and so did Mary the mother of Jesus, who, after Joseph died, struggled with her disbelieving children, who could not accept the fact that their older brother, Jesus, was the long-anticipated Messiah.[5] Clearly, no family is immune.

Therefore, when we feel the war intrude upon our family, perspective might help. Perspective tells us that, as telestial worlds go, we are not in a “normal” environment. Perspective tells us that we do not face a typical enemy; even the worst tyrants who have ever lived are tame compared with the master tyrant who taught and controlled them. Perspective tells us that both our circumstance and our adversary are extraordinary. Perspective opens our eyes to see things as they “really are,”[6] and to see our children and ourselves for who we “really are.” Such perspective, then, directs us to the only Power upon whom we may draw strength to do the work of reclamation and redemption, which only a god can do.

A cosmic perspective of local wickedness

A theatrical technique to awe an audience is to begin the show in front of the curtains, and then, when the introductory act is completed, to draw back the curtains to reveal the majestic sets. The more the curtains are withdrawn the more the audience sees until it is thoroughly immersed in this new world on stage.[7]

Enoch experienced this drawing back of the Lord’s curtains. In vision, the Lord began by parting the veil and showing Enoch some of the workmanship of his hands. Of course, Enoch was awestruck. Struggling for comparatives, he exclaimed, “And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of earths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy creations; and thy curtains are stretched out still…”[8] revealing infinitely more.

In that cosmic view of the universe, Enoch saw “millions of earths like this,” and likely he saw the “inhabitants thereof,”[9] other sons and daughters of God. Then, as he wondered, he saw the Lord weeping. How could this be? Why, in the midst of the grandeur of eternity would the great Creator of the universe weep? So Enoch asked, and the Lord responded with an answer that should give every parent in Zion cause to tremble: “…among all the workmanship of mine hands there has not been so great wickedness as among thy brethren.”[10]

Interpreted narrowly, the Lord’s answer might be thought to reference only Enoch’s generation. That was the generation preceding the great Flood, which, by all accounts, was a generation so wicked that it warranted destruction, a generation that some have suggested was destroyed because its children no longer had a chance to grow up without being overwhelmed by pervasive sin. But because Enoch was enjoying a sweeping view of the ages, we might interpret the Lord’s statement as including us in the last days.

The latter days are among the worst

Therefore, we latter-day parents realize that our children are at terrible risk. Enoch saw that our day would be much like his-a day defined by gross wickedness, the likes of which would equal then exceed the depravity achieved by the people in the days of Noah. “But as it was in the days of Noah, so it shall be also at the coming of the Son of Man….”[11]

The message is clear: Enoch’s “brethren,” who would live upon this earth across the ages of time, would sink to one of the lowest levels in all the universe, and scripturally we understand that some of the worst conditions are here and now. Brigham Young said,

“We are inhabitants of a world of sin and sorrow; pain and anguish, every ill that can be heaped upon intelligent beings in a probation we are heirs to. I suppose that God never organized an earth and peopled it that was ever reduced to a lower state of darkness, sin and ignorance than this. I suppose this is one of the lowest kingdoms that ever the Lord Almighty created….”[12]

Speaking of the evils facing our youth in “epidemic proportions,” President Boyd K. Packer, said, “These are days of great spiritual danger for our youth.” Continuing he said that he knew of no time when worse things were so widely accepted in the world, not even in the time of Sodom and Gomorrah. While evil was localized then, he pointed out, it has now spread across the world.[13] Sodom and Gomorrah and the world of Noah are examples of civilizations whose wickedness became so oppressive that it strangled agency and overwhelmed children before they could make informed choices. Such conditions demand extermination for the merciful sake of the children.

The impact of our world’s wickedness on the host of heaven

Evidence that our world and situation are extraordinary can be found in a further reading of Enoch’s vision. After the Lord reminded his prophet that no wickedness in the universe exceeds that which is found upon this earth, he stated, “…the whole heavens shall weep over them, even all the workmanship of mine hands….”[14]

We are being watched!

The events that transpire on this earth are likely viewable by heavenly hosts, who see us and mourn. The powers of darkness that prevail upon this earth and the enemy that has combined against us have corrupted all flesh “in the presence of all the hosts of heaven, which causeth silence to reign, and all eternity is pained.”[15] Imagine!

Have you ever witnessed something so abhorrent that speech fails you? What you are viewing “causeth silence to reign.” Such may be the case with “the hosts of heaven.” With jaw-dropping disbelief, they are evidently sickened to the point of silence. All eternity is pained. The awful wickedness that occurs on this world apparently rouses profound anxiety among even the angels of God who await “the great command to reap down the earth, to gather the tares that they may be burned.”[16] There could be no other divine reaction; there never has been. Only the patience and mercy of God stays certain retribution for the sake of his elect.[17]

The unique identity of this world

The hosts of heaven have a good reason to watch us. Here, their Savior came to work out the universal atonement to make the inhabitants of all other the worlds “begotten sons and daughters unto God.”[18] Moreover, this world is destined to be crowned with glory and the presence of God the Father[19] and belong to Christ[20] and his saints,[21] which suggests that this earth–presently one of the lowest, darkest and most wicked object in the heavens–will be exalted high in the heavens and become one of the greatest and most brilliant luminaries in the universe, a significant celestial kingdom where Christ shall dwell.

Therefore, extremes define our earth, and the “hosts of heaven” are watching. Some of the worst acts of wickedness and some of the greatest act of righteousness have been and are being played out on this planet. The salvation of the universe depends on the success of events that happen here. This should tell us something about our children and ourselves. We–our children and us–have strengths beyond our imagination, and over time the Lord will help us remember then employ our abilities to do the work of redemption among those who are temporarily deceived or wounded in this benighted world.

Prophetic description of our time

Nephi’s vision of the latter-days is chilling.

“And it came to pass that I saw among the nations of the Gentiles the formation of a great church. And the angel said unto me: Behold the formation of a church which is most abominable above all other churches, which slayeth the saints of God, yea, and tortureth them and bindeth them down, and yoketh them with a yoke of iron, and bringeth them down into captivity. And it came to pass that I beheld this great and abominable church; and I saw the devil that he was the founder of it. And I also saw gold, and silver, and silks, and scarlets, and fine-twined linen, and all manner of precious clothing; and I saw many harlots. And the angel spake unto me, saying: Behold the gold, and the silver, and the silks, and the scarlets, and the fine-twined linen, and the precious clothing, and the harlots, are the desires of this great and abominable church. And also for the praise of the world do they destroy the saints of God, and bring them down into captivity.” [22]

In the language of war, Nephi describes an organized effort to slay the saints. The sole purpose of the “great and abominable church”-for it truly is a consuming religion to its founder and its adherents-is to torture, bind down, yoke with a yoke of iron, and bring down into captivity the covenant people. To accomplish this “slaying,” the devil dangles bait like a fisherman will dangle a lure to entice fish to bite. Whereas tragically the young and inexperienced are often the most fascinated by the lures and draw close and are caught, the older and wiser recognize the lures for what they are and seldom pay them any mind.

In the devil’s creel is an impressive arsenal of lures-if he can’t catch us with one he will simply change lures and keep trying. According to Nephi’s vision:

• The pursuit of wealth is a lure-”gold and silver.”
• Fashion and materialism are lures-”silks and scarlets and fine-twined linen, and all manner of precious clothing.”
• Sexual sin of every variety is a lure-”many harlots.”
• Peer acceptance and popularity are lures-”praise of the world.”

Whether or not these lures are employed singly or in combination, or whether or not they are chosen or imposed upon us, the intention is the same-”to destroy the saints of God, and to bring them down into captivity.” With some degree of confidence, then, we can retrace a child’s footsteps to waywardness–by his choice or by his victimization–to his being hooked by one of the devil’s lures.

Even Satan seems to be amazed by his success

Is Satan’s strategy working to deceive and destroy even the very elect?[23] Evidently better than he had hoped. He has made us to “bow down with grief, sorrow, and care, under the most damning hand of murder, tyranny, and oppression.” He has “strongly riveted the creeds of the fathers, who have inherited lies, upon the hearts of the children, and filled the world with confusion,” which condition of wickedness and confusion has been “growing stronger and stronger, and is now the very mainspring of all corruption, and the whole earth groans under the weight of its iniquity. It is an iron yoke, it is a strong band; they are the very handcuffs, and chains, and shackles, and fetters of hell.” Satan has been so successful that even he is astonished. His “dark and blackening deeds are enough to make hell itself shudder, and to stand aghast and pale, and the hands of the very devil to tremble and palsy.”[24]

Perspective and hope

This would be a dismal view were it not for Jesus Christ, who anticipated, suffered for and overcame each problem that every wayward child encounters. Therefore, he can speak with optimism when he promises a successful outcome. Why? Because he has already accomplished the outcome. He knows!

Joseph Smith said, “I have a declaration to make as to the provisions which God hath made to suit the conditions of man…. What has Jesus said? All sin, and all blasphemies, and every transgression, except one, that man can be guilty of, may be forgiven; and there is a salvation for all men, either in this world or the world to come…. Hence God hath made a provision that every spirit in the eternal world can be ferreted out and saved…. God has wrought out a salvation for all men…and every man who has a friend in the eternal world can save him…. And so you can see how far you can be a savior…. Hence the salvation of Jesus Christ was wrought out for all men, in order to triumph over the devil; for if it did not catch him in one place, it would in another; for he stood up as a Savior.”[25]

Despite what may seem as evidence to the contrary, our children are ultimately safe in this wicked world. And so are we.

I invite your stories. Other despairing parents need information and hope. Visit my website: www.larrybarkdull.com.

Next time

“Redemption is possible from extreme distances”

---

[1] Gordon B. Hinckley, “Inspirational Thoughts,” Ensign, September 2007  

[2] See D&C 29:36

[3] Moses 4:21

[4] 3 Nephi 18:18

[5] See John 7:5

[6] Moses 7:30

[7] Jack Marshall drew this analogy in a 2002 BYU Education Week presentation

[8] Moses 7:30

[9] D&C 76:24; 88:61

[10] Moses 7:36

[11] JS Matthew 1:41

[12] George D. Watt, ed., Journal of Discourses, Vol. 10, p.175

[13] Boyd K. Packer, “One Pure Defense,” CES Devotional, February 6, 2004

[14] Moses 7:37

[15] See D&C 38:11-12

[16] D&C 38:12

[17] See JS-Matthew 1:20

[18] D&C 76:24

[19] D&C 88:19-20

[20] D&C 130:9

[21] D&C 103:7

[22] 1 Nephi 13:4-9

[23] Matthew 24:24

[24] D&C 123:7-10

[25] Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 356-57, emphasis added

The Book of Mormon parallel
To help us, Mormon chose powerful examples from his history that would correspond with his vision of the last days. Regarding waywardness, he chose the story of Alma the Elder and his son. To set up this story, he related an important incident regarding the Nephite “pioneers,” whom the Lord had delivered and brought to their land of promise.

The similarity between the Nephite pioneers and our forefathers does not escape us. Those stalwart parents, who had sacrificed so much to establish their Zion in Zarahemla, were now raising children who did not believe, as had their parents. Here is how Mormon describes these children of the next generation:

“Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers. They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ. And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened. And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God.”

This frightening account of children abandoning their parents’ beliefs and following paths of carnality and sin resonates in too many LDS families. Mormon made the point that no set of parents, not even the king of the land or the prophet of God, is safe from the effects of the plague of wayward children: “Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma, after his father….” Clearly, Satan can reach into any family and snatch away any of our innocent children.

No grief is as acute
Of course, when this happens to us, we feel grief-stricken, isolated, ashamed and guilty. In vain we internalize and personalize the child’s bad behavior: “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see this coming?” We groan under the weight of apparent scriptural indictments: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”

Perhaps worst, we feel helpless to change things. Should we employ tough love and risk destroying the relationship? Or should we silently watch and mourn and risk losing the child completely? Where are the answers? Where is power to change things?

There is an answer
Mormon knew the answer. So did the ancient prophets, and so do the modern prophets. It is a common theme, if we know where to find it. But first we have to admit that waywardness is, at least in part, a spiritual problem, and that part needs to be handled spiritually. Therefore, we need to start with three spiritual things:

1. Perspective. The Fall renders us significantly impotent. We ever feel sin beckoning us, and we cannot escape the realities of corruption, aging, disease and opposition. Mortality is a hard experience for our children and for us.
2. Grace. We cannot make it alone. The Fall is an impossible situation without divine intervention and help. Only Jesus Christ can give us the strength to persevere, overcome and do good works.
3. Strength. Strength to do what? Strength to change, not eliminate, our circumstance. Strength to believe in and draw upon the power of the atonement, where there is infinite power. Strength to believe that the Lord is bound to us by covenant, and therefore there are principles that allow us to tap into that higher power and change our situation.

For us to become agents of change, parents who are capable of acting in the strength of the Lord, suggests that we reevaluate our level of belief in the Plan of Redemption and adopt a new perspective. Perhaps we need to reexamine our faith. Do we simply believe that Christ is, or do we believe who he is? Do we believe that the gospel is a vibrant system of reclamation and redemption, or do we simply believe that it is a nice culture?

Rescuing wayward children all comes down to this: The gospel—the whole gospel—is true! And this is the lesson that we learn from Alma’s experience: Any effort that parents put forth to increase their level of sanctification has a direct redeeming effect on their children. In other words, the redeemed do the redeeming; the sanctified do the sanctifying. The gospel of Jesus Christ absolutely holds the spiritual solution for spiritual waywardness.

Sweeping prophetic promises
Of course, nothing trumps agency, and no guarantee could ever been made that a child will ultimately choose to turn from a life of waywardness. Nevertheless, these principles are so powerful that the prophets have used very little qualifying language in making universal and incredible promises. The atonement has a much greater reach than we might imagine.

Such optimism from the prophets for eventual success should kindle hope within any parent’s despairing heart. These empowering principles and promises should be good news for us. Rather than languishing in hopelessness, while watching our children die spiritually, we can employ the sanctifying principles found in the Plan of Redemption and expect miracles to happen.

And miracles do happen!

A psychologist in Utah shares his experience:

“When our teenage son abandoned the Church and fell into a life of alcohol, drugs and wonton sex, my wife and I were devastated. My reaction was to apply the principles of psychology to change the boy, but I soon discovered that this situation was beyond my training. I had never felt so disempowered. I had always thought that I could handle even the most difficult behavioral situations with my science, but as I watched my son free-fall into spiritual oblivion, I felt absolutely helpless.

“Remarkably, my wife came up with a solution. She had no professional training for this, but she was a student of the scriptures—the very thing she needed to be. I resisted her solution at first. It was too simple, I thought. Then I remembered that the Israelites had been asked to do an easy thing too: Look at the brass serpent and live. I was soon to learn that the principles affecting spiritual healing are just that simple, as simple as the gospel that spawned them. My wife’s solution was this: ‘We will pray and fast for our son. Then we will go to the temple twice a month, instead of once, and we will put his name on the prayer rolls in faith.’

“That struck me as a disappointing answer. I thought, ‘We are dealing with an urgent, complicated situation, for goodness sake; it calls for an urgent, complicated answer, not all this Sunday School stuff. Our son is dying, and all you can come up with is pat answers? Prayer, fasting, temple attendance—give me a break!’ I didn’t say this out loud, of course. For the sake of our marriage, I agreed to do as my wife recommended, but I held onto my psychology books, just in case.

“Over time, my wife extended more love to our son. Together, we prayed, fasted and upped our temple attendance. She found promises from the prophets and kept copies in her nightstand. She searched the scriptures for spiritual remedies. Despite our effort, things went from bad to worse. On several occasions, I picked up my son from jail. He would bring home his disgusting friends, who helped themselves to our food. He became belligerent and cursed at us when he didn’t get his way. But through it all, my wife urged patience, faith and perseverance.

“And then it happened! My wife and I had been praying for the Lord to send our son a conversion opportunity—not something that would interfere with his agency and force him out of his destructive lifestyle, but something that would provide him perspective and a clear choice. One night in a drunken stupor, he had an accident that threatened his life. In a miraculous way, he was spared. The situation was so miraculous that if defied explanation. He knew that this was not luck; he knew that God had saved him. Heavenly Father had given him a second chance, and he knew it. That experience opened the door. His accident involved immediate medical treatment. Lying in bed recovering, he was willing to talk about the spiritual implications of his actions. Now I could use my skills as a psychologist to discuss his behavior and emotional problems. Now all the sciences came together to heal our son.

“Although his complete spiritual recovery is still a work in progress, and although sometimes we feel that we are taking baby steps, we know that our son’s direction has turned 180 degrees and hope is on the horizon. He is active in the Church now. He is working with the Bishop for the restoration of is blessings. He is dating with his eye on the temple. I am convinced that my wife’s and my spiritual efforts opened the door for the Lord to offer our son a choice to change.

“I no longer resist my wife’s simple Sunday School answers. We search the scriptures with more purpose; we pray, fast and attend the temple with more purpose; we hold Family Home Evening and attend to our callings with more purpose. In the beginning, I had wanted to do something to change my son. But I had it all turned around. The Lord’s way is not man’s way. Spiritual healing requires another tactic. I learned that I had to change myself first then an opportunity came to my son. What a discovery!”

There is hope
The powerful principles in the Plan of Salvation are within the reach of anyone who is willing to exert the effort. Is there a need? A survey of any ward in the Church or a scan of Conference talks should provide the answer. Spiritual waywardness is epidemic. You are not alone! In fact you are in good company. Some of the best parents who have ever lived have struggled with wayward children. So much so that one begins to wonder if this situation is not common to the mortal experience. Perhaps it is not a curse after all; maybe it is a trust. Nevertheless, this epidemic was foretold in the scriptures, and a remedy was prescribed. Once parents become acquainted with these redemptive principles, miracles often happen.

The divine resources that are available to us are amazingly expansive, and the vast body of confirming evidence of eventual success is overwhelming. Therefore, to discount the Lord’s power to reclaim, even from incredible distances, or to minimize the power that the Lord has placed within our reach is to disparage the redeeming power of the infinite and universal atonement of Jesus Christ.

Absolutely, there is hope!
(Published on www.MeridianMagazine.com 7.16.08)