For single parents and those wishing to be sealed in the temple, this can be a painful reminder. However, though this article deals specifically with the power given to married couples who are sealed in the temple, many principles apply to singles, single parents, those working for eternal union with less-active spouses, and to children who are praying for their wayward parents. Faith and grace allow us to act as if we were in possession of that which we lack and to do all that we can do with the assurance that the Lord will make up the difference.  Attesting to the truth of this comforting fact, President Spencer W. Kimball said all faithful members would “not be deprived of any blessings which they might have received if they had lived up to all of the commandments with which they could comply.”

The Power of the Marriage Sealing

Love between a husband and a wife can be welded into an unbreakable link by the temple marriage covenant. If a couple lives true to that covenant, they can become one in word, purpose, and deed. That quality of oneness is the ultimate unity necessary to obtain redemptive blessings in behalf of our children. While the temple experience teaches us that the sealing of parents is initially provisional and based on subsequent obedience, we also are aware that no such qualifying language is used when a child is born in the covenant or when a child is later sealed to his parents. This fact suggests that the Lord intends for the child to belong to the parents forever.

President Joseph Fielding Smith said,

Those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents. Nothing except the unpardonable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie. If children do not sin as John said, ‘unto death,’ the parents may still feel after them and eventually bring them back near to them again.

The prophets have stated repeatedly that the calling of parent is one from which we are never released. Such is the incredible power of the sealing ordinance. The covenant entered into and the sealing pronounced on a couple married in the temple create a patriarchal hold that secures children to their parents forever. The sealing of children to parents gives children the inalienable right to be offered all the blessings of the new and everlasting covenant. Moreover, the sealing has the power to draw children toward those blessings.

Sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise

The ultimate goals of love should be to enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage, then persist in that covenant until the marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. The Holy Spirit of Promise is a “name-title used in connection with the sealing and ratifying power of the Holy Ghost.” Great power devolves upon a husband and wife who have married in the temple and lived worthily so that the Holy Spirit of Promise can validate their marriage. Elder Bruce C. Hafen wrote,

A covenant marriage in the highest sense will begin as a temple marriage. When the partners are then sufficiently righteous, the marriage will be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise (D&C 132:7), “which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true” (D&C 76:53). Such a marriage will then be not only eternal in duration but also celestial in quality, for it will be a marriage that partakes of God’s quality of life.

President James E. Faust made one of the clearest statements on the subject: “When the covenant of marriage for time and eternity, the culminating gospel ordinance, is sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, it can literally open the windows of heaven for great blessings to flow to a married couple who seek for those blessings.”

The sealing of the Holy Spirit of Promise is contingent upon our faithfulness to our covenants. Although marriage is an important step toward exaltation, it is not the ultimate step. Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote, “It should be clearly understood that these high blessings are not part of celestial marriage. ‘Blessings pronounced upon couples in connection with celestial marriage are conditioned upon the subsequent faithfulness of the participating parties.’” In the final analysis, for marriage (or any saving ordinance) to have the greatest power, it must be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise.

Great Powers Unleashed

If a man and a woman marry in the temple, thereby entering into the patriarchal order of the priesthood, and then remain worthy so that their marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, they are given greater power from on high to ask for and receive the highest blessings. These blessings include power to gather or call back their family to Christ (keys restored by Moses), power to organize their family into an eternal, celestial unit, including power to ensure that each family member receives all the blessings of the new and everlasting covenant (keys restored by Elias), and power to have all those blessings sealed so that these blessings might endure forever (keys restored by Elijah).

Speaking of the great blessings that flow to the children by the power of their parents’ marriage sealing, Joseph Fielding Smith wrote:

These keys hold the power to seal husbands and wives for eternity as well as for time. They hold the power to seal children to parents, the key of adoption, by which the family organization is made intact forever. This is the power which will save the obedient from the curse in the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. Through these keys the hearts of the children have turned to their fathers.

So the key to rescuing our wayward children lies not only in our striving to be unified, but to be unified with respect to our covenants. Elder Russell M. Nelson wrote: “As you obey each of God’s commandments, your holiness will fortify the foundation of your fathers’ faith. When the two of you are together spiritually, one plus one is clearly greater than two.”

An Example

Following is a story of a Nevada couple who followed this advice.

When “James” was a teenager, he set about to self-destruct in record time. “Thomas and Alyssa,” his parents, were helpless to halt or alter his determination. A bad group of friends introduced him to alcohol and later, tobacco. When he began to fail badly in school, Thomas and Alyssa tried to help him with a tutor, but James soon lost all interest. Later, he dropped out of school, and later still, when Thomas and Alyssa had laid out a simple set of rules that James would not abide, they asked him to live elsewhere. By that time, he was using and selling drugs, stealing from his parents, and having frequent run-ins with the law. At one point, James was incarcerated for a year, but when he was released he continued with his destructive behavior.

To deal with the problem, Thomas and Alyssa did something remarkable: they pulled together as a couple. They renewed their marriage by frequent dating and trips. They increased their temple attendance, and they put more energy into their couple prayers. In the midst of one of the worst trials of their lives, they reacted by loving each other and God more.

Throughout these years of intense stress and heartbreak, Thomas and Alyssa kept in contact with James and assured him of their love for him. Thomas said, “Alyssa and I didn’t know what else to do. In the beginning, we prayed because that was all we could think to do. But over time, we discovered that parental prayer is a sort of right God gives fathers and mothers. We didn’t even know that we had such a right until we noticed our prayers being answered in miraculous ways.”

At one critical moment, James had moved to a new city and had no place to room. His parents knew that his decision would make or break him. His history had been to live with the low-lifes of society-jobless and hard partying, alcoholics and drug users. Now he was faced with a similar decision, and Thomas and Alyssa went to their knees. They pled with Heavenly Father to help James find an LDS person to live with. Within the week, James called and said that he had made a friend of a returned missionary who had invited him to be his roommate. James stayed with this young man until his next crisis.

Later, James called his father and announced that he and a woman with whom he had been having an affair, were going to buy a condo so they could live together. Despite Thomas’s stern counsel discouraging this, James had stubbornly made up his mind and once again announced that he was going to do things his way. Thomas and Alyssa went to their knees and prayed that something would happen to give James another choice.

Within the week, James called to tell his parents that the woman had broken up with him. He was hurt, but he had begun to date an LDS girl. Within a short period of time, James and the girl fell in love and wanted to get married. She had set her sites on a temple marriage, and that made James reconsider his life. He asked his father to give him a blessing. James went to his bishop, confessed, and gave up all his bad habits. The young woman was willing to wait for James as he completed the repentance process, and after a year, they were married in the temple. Of this miracle, Thomas and Alyssa said, “Couples may not know the power that God puts into their hands. A couple that has truly become one can sincerely pray for their children, and miracles will happen. That oneness calls forth a power we had never thought possible.

Without the Sealing, All would be “Wasted”

Thus, although love may motivate a man and woman to enter into marriage, only God has the power to truly make them one. Moroni revealed to Joseph Smith the sobering fact why this welding link-a temple sealing and subsequent sanctification-must be in place to make a couple (and their progenitors and children) one: so that “the whole earth [would not] be utterly wasted at [the Lord's] coming.” Robert L. Millet gives us further insight into this idea of the earth’s being wasted:

Why would the earth be wasted at his coming? Because the earth would not have accomplished its foreordained purpose of establishing on its face a family system patterned after the order of heaven. If there were no sealing powers whereby families could be bound together, then the earth would never “answer the end of its creation” (D&C 49:16). It would be wasted and cursed, for all men and women would be forever without root or branch, without ancestry or posterity.

With the merciful gift and commandment of having our marriages start at temple altars, righteous parents are made one by God and sealed together with His unbreakable welding link. Then, as we faithfully persevere in our covenants, the Holy Spirit of Promise seals our marriages more surely so that the welding link that was set in place at the altar will never fail.

The children who issue forth from this union-or who are sealed into it-are surely secured to us by virtue of that same, sure weld. Despite their rebellion, they cannot break free. The power of their parents’ oneness, which was set in place by God and made sure by the Holy Spirit of Promise, has the power to hold onto the children and eventually reel them back.

Author’s Note

Note: This article is adapted from Rescuing Wayward Children. Follow this link to learn more.

Also, to receive a sample of my new 5-book series, The Three Pillars of Zion, Click here.

See Bruce R. McConkie, “Celestial Marriage,” Mormon Doctrine, 117-18.

Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, volume 2, 90.

See M. Russell Ballard, “Let Our Voices be Heard,” Ensign, November 2003.

D&C 131:2.

Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, “Holy Spirit of Promise,” 361.

Bruce C. Hafen, Covenant Hearts, 77.

James E. Faust, “The Gift of the Holy Ghost-A Sure Compass,” Ensign, April 1996, emphasis added.

Joseph Fielding Smith, quoted in Bruce R. McConkie’s Mormon Doctrine, “Calling and Election Sure,” 110.

D&C 131:1-4; 132:28-30.

D&C 132:7, 19, 26; See also D&C 76:53.

See D&C 110.

Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Volume 2, 119, emphasis added.

Russell M. Nelson, The Power within Us, 113.

D&C 2:3, comments added.

Robert L. Millet, When a Child Wanders, 100-101.

NOTE: This article is the last of four articles adapted from Chapter 8 of The Three Pillars of Zion. You can download a free Sampler of this new Zion series at www.PillarsOfZion.com.)

In Parts 1-3 of this four-part series, we learned how the Jewish marriage symbolizes the New and Everlasting Covenant, the first pillar of Zion. Something extraordinary begins to happen when we see the scriptures through the lens of the marriage covenant. Suddenly, we understand that the New and Everlasting Covenant is much more than a system of covenants, ordinances, and commandments; the Covenant describes an intimate, loving and fruitful relationship. This is the covenantal relationship that is offered to us by the Bridegroom, who invites us to take his name upon us and to share his life.

Perhaps to better teach us that our covenantal relationship with him is very much like a marriage, the Lord describes the New and Everlasting Covenant in tender and caring language that is charged with symbolism and importance. Founded on the New and Everlasting Covenant, Zion is established, and the vocabulary that illustrates this first pillar of Zion is at once beautiful and endearing.

Review

In Part 1 of this series, we learned that the Jewish marriage describes the beauty and loving nature of the New and Everlasting Covenant. In Part 2 of this series, we examined the betrothal ceremony. In Part 3, we examined the events that occur during the waiting period-the time between the betrothal and the wedding.

• After the betrothal ceremony, the bridegroom’s father made the first of two announcements of the marriage of his son. The first announcement, or calling, was proffered to close friends, family, and others who were invited to the wedding. We are likewise called to the wedding of the Son. Sadly, we also understand that of the many who are called, few will actually be chosen to attend.
• Once the bride was betrothed, she wore a veil in public to show that she had entered into the marriage covenant. The bride wore the veil as an indication that she belonged only to her husband and that no one else had the right to appreciate her beauty except him. This custom is reminiscent of present-day temple worship. Once we have accepted the Lord in the Covenant, we, like the Jewish bride, are considered set apart, consecrated and holy.
• The friend of the bridegroom was a witness of the couple’s covenant. During the betrothal period, the friend conveyed messages between the bride and groom, and he helped the bride prepare for the coming of her husband. Just so, the Holy Ghost, witnesses our covenant-making process. While we wait and prepare for the Lord, he conveys messages between the Bridegroom and us (the bride). Additionally, he prepares us for the coming of the Bridegroom. He encourages us to remain faithful, and ultimately, when we are finally brought together, he bears testimony of our having remained worthy.
• During the long betrothal period, both the bride and the bridegroom were to prepare for each other. She would make herself beautiful and learn essential skills for her new life. He would prepare a place for his beloved in the mansions of his father. Because the bride did not know the day or hour that her bridegroom would come for her, she had to live her life in constant anticipation and readiness. To endure the wait, the bride retained reminders of his promise to return-”I go away and come again unto you.” These reminders, which she held close to her heart, were the bride price, the marriage contract, and the token. She also had his pledge, which was reminiscent of the Lord’s words to us: “Let not your hearts be troubled; for in my Father’s house are many mansions, and I have prepared a place for you; and where my Father and I am, there ye shall be also.” And at another time, “I go to prepare a place for you.”

In this final article, we will examine the events leading up to the actual wedding. These events begin with the father’s giving his son permission to go and claim his bride. At that point, the father issued his second and final call to the wedding. Then the wedding processional began. The bridegroom came as a thief in the night and whisked away his beloved and conveyed her as a queen to the place that he had prepared for her. Then the wedding took place; the bridegroom and his bride were finally together, never again to be parted.

Invitation to the Wedding

When the bridegroom completed the “little mansion or bridal chamber” for his bride, and when the groom’s father finally declared that the construction and preparations met with his approval, the father finally gave his son permission to go and claim his bride. Immediately, the bridegroom began to organize a wedding procession by calling and gathering his close associates. In this we remember the reference to the Lord’s coming with “all the holy angels with him.”

While the bridegroom was thus engaged, the father sent his servants to make the second announcement or in other words “for the last time.” We recall that the first announcement or calling happened at the time of betrothal. At that time, the invited guests covenanted to come to the wedding whenever the father announced that the wedding, feast and festivities are about to commence. We must keep in mind that the chosen ones had promised that they would remain in readiness and attend the marriage of the son. To reject the invitation now would be nothing short of a monumental insult and a serious offense. Jesus spoke about the second announcement and the seriousness of following through on our initial covenant:

A certain man made a great supper, and bade many:

And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.

And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused.

And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee have me excused.

And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.

So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind.

And the servant said, Lord, it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room.

And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.

For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.

Notice that the chosen guests who did not attend the wedding used as excuses property, possessions and family concerns. It is sad but true that many of the chosen ones will step aside from their covenant: “Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen? Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men.”

For an invited guest to place anything above his commitment to attend the wedding or for an invited guest to be unprepared, as were five of the ten virgins, are insults that will summon the Father’s indignation. To not respond to the Bridegroom’s advent will most certainly result in such individuals’ being shut out from the wedding and the Bridegroom’s denying knowing them.

The Wedding Processional

The bridegroom led a procession to the bride’s home to claim her. He was decked out in regal attire, often wearing a crown, dressed in garments “scented with frankincense and myrrh,” and appearing in every way like a king. This joyous occasion was one of “singing, dancing and merriment.” Now the bridegroom’s long-awaited purpose and the object of his sacrifice were about to be rewarded. The clamorous late-night procession wound through the streets with their torches beaming and their trumpets blaring, awakening everyone along the way. The scriptures inform us that “the Son of Man shall come, and he shall send his angels before him with the great sound of a trumpet.” Those in the procession beckoned others to join them: “…and they shall gather together the remainder of his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.”

When the procession neared the bride’s home, “a messenger was sent ahead to give the shout, ‘The bridegroom cometh!’” At that point, the bride had about half an hour “to make final preparations” before the shout was given again and the bridegroom claimed her. “And he [the angelic messenger] shall sound his trump both long and loud, and all nations shall hear it. And there shall be silence in heaven for the space of half an hour; and immediately after shall the curtain of heaven be unfolded, as a scroll is unfolded after it is rolled up, and the face of the Lord shall be unveiled.”

Claiming the Bride

The Jewish marriage is filled with the imagery of the New and Everlasting Covenant. When we entered into the Covenant with the Bridegroom through baptism, we recognized the fact that he had paid a price for us. In the covenantal agreement, he promised to provide for us, redeem us, and to live with us in a loving relationship. Then he presented us with tokens (his wounds) representing his love and devotion. He did all of this in the presence of witnesses. He vowed to prepare a place for us in the mansions of his father, and he promised to one day return for us: “I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” When at last he would finally come for us, we together would make the marriage complete and he would seal us his. This is an interesting phrase, given our understanding of the temple. Conversely, if we neglect or reject our covenant with the Lord, “the devil doth seal [us] his.”

The hour had finally come for the loyal and long-suffering bride. Having made all preparations, having waited faithfully and patiently for the bridegroom’s return, having heard the trumpet and the shout, having gathered all together during the last half hour, and having heard the final shout, the bride now gave herself willingly to the bridegroom as he burst through the door of her home to claim her. By this action, the bridegroom suddenly elevated his bride to the stature of a queen.

The New and Everlasting Covenant provides for such regal unity: “[The Bridegroom] hast made us unto our God kings and priests [and queens and priestesses]: and we shall reign on the earth.” Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote:

This unity among all the saints and between them and the Father and the Son, is reserved for those who gain exaltation and inherit the fulness of the Father’s kingdom. Those who attain it will all know the same things; think the same thoughts; exercise the same powers; do the same acts; respond in the same way to the same circumstances; beget the same kind of offspring; rejoice in the same continuation of the seeds forever; create the same type of worlds; enjoy the same eternal fulness; and glory in the same exaltation.

Immediately, the bride was lifted up into a special chair-a throne-”and carried to her new home. The four strong men,” who conveyed the bride, were “given the honorary title, Giborei Yisrael, or heroes of Israel.” In this regal setting, the bride appeared stunningly beautiful without spot or blemish. Moreover, she was beautiful within, having prepared during and faithfully endured the wait. Similarly, the apostle John saw latter-day Zion “prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” The psalmist wrote, “The king’s daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold. She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee. With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: they shall enter into the king’s palace.”

Now the bridegroom brought her to the place he had prepared for her. Donna Nielsen explained:

The most important period of the marriage festivities was when the bride entered her new home. The bride and groom were sometimes crowned with real crowns or with garlands or roses, myrtle, or olive leaves…. The couple was treated like royalty during this time. The new husband was literally considered a king and priest in his own home, with his wife as queen.

How glorious is the Covenant that exalts us and makes us equal with the King of Heaven!

The Wedding

A number of symbolic events occurred when the guests entered into the father’s home. These events hearken to blessings that attend the New and Everlasting Covenant. For example, each guest had his feet and hands washed, then he was anointed, embraced and kissed. These gestures were evidences of reconciliation; no hard feelings would be allowed in the father’s house on such a joyous occasion. We might expect to be thus treated when we regain the Father presence.

“Another Jewish custom was to wear a ‘wedding garment.’” These garments were supplied to the guests by the bridegroom’s father. They were white, “a color associated with royalty.” Moreover, the white garments represented light. If someone were found not wearing a garment, such as the guest mentioned in Matthew 22:11, he would be cast out. His action would be interpreted as disdain for the father’s generosity.

While the guests were dressing, greeting and conversing, the bridegroom and the bride dressed in their white wedding clothing, which was symbolic of “purity, forgiveness of sins, and solemn joy.” Isaiah exulted, “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”

At this point, the bride would be anointed with sweet olive oil. We remember that this sanctifying act signified her joy and her willingness to transform her life from a single woman to a queen to her husband. This change of status was shared by both the bride and the bridegroom. “Each groom at the time of his wedding and later in his own home was to be considered as a king and a priest.” The act of clothing the couple in royal wedding robes signified among other things that they were now consecrated to become fruitful and bear children. Similarly, the Covenant clothes us “with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” Our purpose changes from profane to holy, and joined with the Lord we become fruitful.

Now the time of the wedding was at hand. The place of making the covenant was under a canopy, a square piece of cloth held up by four poles. The canopy was open on all sides, reminiscent of the hospitality Abraham and Sarah showed guests in their open tent. The canopy was usually positioned outside so as to be under the stars. Symbolically and among other things, it represented “God’s sheltering love” and also the covenant that God made with Abraham, promising that his children would be as numerous as the stars of the heavens. Likewise, when we marry in the temple, we are sealed together in the presence of the luminaries of heaven and blessed with all the blessings of Abraham, including “a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.”

After the bridegroom had been escorted to the canopy by his parents, the bride was brought to the canopy by hers. At that point, the “officiator faced the couple and read the Psalm of Thanksgiving (Psalm 100). A goblet of wine was raised, and a blessing was said over the wine. This was called the ‘Cup of Joy.’ Both the bride and the bridegroom drank from the same cup, indicating they would share the joys of life together.” Likewise, we are yoked to Jesus in the New and Everlasting Covenant. Our Bridegroom covenants to share with us all the joys and sorrows of life; by covenant, we will never be left alone.

Then the bridegroom places a ring, which represents eternity, on the bride’s right index finger. It was the right hand that was used for making covenants. At that point, the bridegroom “lifted the bride’s veil and placed the corner of it on his shoulder. This was a proclamation to everyone present that the government of his bride now rested on his shoulder,” an image that Isaiah used to describe the Savior’s relationship to us. Then the marriage contract was read aloud for all to witness, which reading was followed by the officiator’s reciting blessings. Similarly, the Lord pronounces blessings upon those whom he seals together:

And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them–Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection…and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths…and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them.

Next, the officiator offers a second cup of wine to the couple. “This cup was called the ‘Cup of Sacrifice’ and the ‘Cup of Salvation.’ They would have to share sacrifices in life, but eventually those sacrifices would be a source of salvation for both of them.” Again, in the Covenant, the Bridegroom vows to walk the path of life by our side. Against all odds, he is determined to drink of the Cup of Sacrifice for our salvation: “…the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?” Our life together is one of mutual sacrifice that most assuredly will lead to mutual salvation. In the Covenant, we counsel and make decisions together; we love together; we hurt together. What he wants, we want. We share in our hopes, desires and dreams, and we also share in our sorrows. We are one.

Drinking from the Cup of Sacrifice or the Cup of Salvation is vividly described in the Savior’s own words: “For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit–and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink–Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.”

The Bridegroom’s Plea

No doctrine is more glorious than the New and Everlasting Covenant. Significantly, the Bridegroom initiates the invitation to join with him in a covenantal relationship that is as holy, loving, intimate, fruitful, trusting and enduring as an eternal marriage. Equally significant is the fact that in inviting us to enter into a covenant relationship, the Lord essentially pleads with us that we will have mercy on him that we might agree to join with him. Hosea 6:6 states, “For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice….” This is an interesting twist considering the fact that we are ever pleading for his mercy.

We begin to understand this gospel irony when we note that the Hebrew word for mercy is hesed, which “refers to the deep spiritual and emotional bond that exists between two very close people such as husband and wife. Immediately, one perceives that God wants us to be as emotionally and spiritually close to him in thought and action as a devoted husband and wife would be…. It is a humbling moment when we realize that such a powerful, loving, and kind God wants this type of a relationship. Such knowledge inspires one to ‘grow up’ spiritually and to think more about the impact his life has on God.”

That the Lord would literally beg us to enter into a covenantal relationship with him evokes tender images. At the end of his earthly ministry, we recall that Jesus lamented over proud Jerusalem, the bride whom he had courted for so long, the bride whom he would have gathered to him so many times in protective and loving care, and yet she would not give him her love. That image evokes the vision of a prospective groom, who has loved a woman for a very long time, and finally has managed to gather enough to pay a substantial bride price by sacrificing his all. Now he hands her a document written on fine parchment which contains his covenantal promises: He will provide for her, redeem her, love her and give her his name. Then he offers her a token or a gift of value, a representation of his promises, and in the presence of witnesses he recites a pledge to irrevocably bind and consecrate himself to her forever. Now he places a cup of wine before her…and waits. Will she drink of the cup or will she refuse him?

How we respond to the Bridegroom’s invitation will determine our eternal future. A great and divisive decision lies before us. Those who neglect or reject the Lord’s proposal to enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant will find themselves on his left hand, symbolically the hand of disdain to the Jewish mind. Conversely, those who accept the Lord’s proposal and thereafter live faithfully in the Covenant will find themselves on his right hand, the hand of covenant making, the hand on which the bride accepts her husband’s ring.

Jesus commented on this reality in words of stark imagery: “When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth [his] sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world…. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”

May we respond to the Lord’s plea and accept his invitation to join him in the New and Everlasting Covenant. Then may we, like the bride, stand forever on the Bridegroom’s right hand and there exult as did Jeremiah, “This is the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.”

Publisher’s Note

The Three Pillars of Zion is an extensive 5-volume set of books that explores the covenants, attributes and characteristics that define a Zion person. This Zion series is heavily documented with over 3,800 references, making it one of the most extensive research projects ever written about Zion. New York Times best-selling author, Ron McMillan, says, “Larry Barkdull has written one of the most definitive works on the subject of Zion.” This ground-breaking series contains one of the most critical messages for our day. We invite you to learn more and receive a complimentary copy of the Pillars of Zion Sampler at www.PillarsOfZion.com.

John 14:28

D&C 98:18

John 14:2

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.33

Matthew  25:31

See Jacob 5:62-64; D&C 24:19; 39:17; 43:28; 88:84; 95:4; 112:30

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.40

Luke 14:16-24

D&C 121:34-35

See Matthew 25:1-13

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.41

JS-Matthew 1:37

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.42

D&C 88:94-95, emphasis added

John 14:2-3

See Mosiah 5:15

See Alma 34:35

Revelation 5:10

Bruce R. McConkie, “Unity,” Mormon Doctrine, p.814

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.43

Revelation 21:2

Psalms 45:13-15

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.44

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.51-54

Isaiah 61:10

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.52, 54-55

D&C 88:125

See John 15:5-8

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.55-56

D&C 132:19

See Matthew 11:29-30

See Isaiah 9:6

D&C  132:19-20

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.57-60

John  18:11

D&C 19:16-19

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. iv

See Matthew 23:37

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.57

Matthew  25:31-34, 41

Jeremiah 15:16

(NOTE: This article is the second part of four articles adapted from Chapter 8 of The Three Pillars of Zion. You can download a free Sampler of this new Zion series at www.PillarsOfZion.com.)

The Jewish marriage parallels the New and Everlasting Covenant with astonishing similarity. Because the New and Everlasting Covenant is the first “pillar of Zion,” and because it is upon this foundational Covenant that a Zion life or a Zion marriage are established, we would be well served to become familiar with these ancient customs.

Review

In Part 1 of this series, we learned that the Jewish marriage describes the beauty and loving nature of the New and Everlasting Covenant.

• Marriage was considered the primary and most glorious purpose of life. Just so, the New and Everlasting Covenant provides the glorious end-purpose of our lives.
• Jewish children were “born to marry” just as we are born to enter into the Covenant.
• Parents shouldered the responsibility to help choose their child’s mate, although the child retained the freedom of choice. Likewise, parents have the obligation to introduce their children into the New and Everlasting Covenant, but the children do so by choice.
• To legalize the marriage covenant, the bridegroom had to 1) pay a bride price, 2) offer his bride a marriage contract, and 3) the couple had to consummate the marriage, meaning to know each other. Similarly, in the New and Everlasting Covenant, we (the bride) are:
  • “Bought with a price.”
  • United by covenant according to the Law of Consecration, which is “the law of the celestial kingdom.”
  • Known, or “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood.”
• The bridegroom initiated the offer of marriage to the bride. Just so, the Savior extends his hand to us and lovingly invites us to join with him in the New and Everlasting Covenant.

In this second segment of the four-part series, we will examine some of the rites associated with the Jewish betrothal that initiated the marriage and preceded the wedding.

Bought with a Price

When the marriage delegation, which included the groom, his father, friend(s) and witness(es), arrived at the bride’s home, the proposal ceremony began. First, the young man paid the girl’s father a “bride price.” There are several important symbolic parallels to our covenant with the Savior that are portrayed in the price that the bridegroom paid for the bride.

It meant a pledge of money given by the man to seal his offer to marry. This was not like buying a slave but was perceived as compensating the father for the great loss of his daughter and her contribution to the household. It recognized the care and diligence required to raise her to be a suitable wife. In addition, it also sealed a bond of alliance between the two families.

This relationship of ownership is described in the word segulah, “which means ‘peculiar treasure’ or ‘treasured relationship’…. Truly, the worth of a bride was great in the eyes of her husband.”

Importantly, the bride price “signified the transfer of authority from father to husband.” That is, when the bride gave her consent and entered into the marriage covenant, she agreed to fully belong to her husband, not as if she were a slave or property, but exclusive as would be a beloved eternal companion. She was “bought with a price.” Now she was expected to shift her loyalty from her father to her husband and follow him in righteousness. Likewise, when we enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant with the Savior, we leave behind all other loyalties and affections and shift our devotion exclusively to him.

Of great significance was the amount of the bride price. A small amount suggested that her husband held her in low esteem and of little value. But if he paid a great deal for her in money or service, the implication was that he was acquiring something extremely valuable that required cherishing. Thus a bridegroom’s consecrating his all to “purchase” his bride would signify both immense sacrifice and unbounded love. In his eyes, she would be of infinite worth. We recall that Jacob “served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her.” When we consider the bride price, we cannot avoid the reference to the Savior who paid for us with his life and offers us all that he is and has. He bought us with “his own blood.”

Although the bride’s father received the bride price, he returned most of it to his daughter. This became her dowry, which her husband could never access. It was her security, in case her husband died. Effectively, her father endowed her so that she might enter her new life and have adequate security to face with the uncertainties of that life. Thus, her security originated from the sacrifice of her husband and culminated in the generosity of her father.

Similarly, our Heavenly Father endows us with gifts of great value that ensure our future safety and security, and these gifts flow to us from the sacrifice of our beloved Bridegroom.

The Marriage Contract

In Jewish thought, all covenantal relationships were extremely serious. Often, only when they were sealed in blood did they became final and legally binding. The actual terms of the marriage covenant “were spelled out in a formal document called a ketubah…which stated the bride price…the promises and obligations of the groom and listed the rights of the bride. It signified a permanent covenant and an exclusive agreement.” The wording of an ancient ketubah might be representative:

1. I will provide you with food, clothing and necessities.
2. I will redeem you if you are ever taken captive.
3. I will live with you as a husband according to the universal custom.

Notice that the marriage contract was weighted in the bride’s favor. The groom listed “what he would do for her, what he would give her, and how he would care and provide for her.” While it is true that we agree “to take upon us the name of [the] Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments,” it is also true that we sometimes forget how much the New and Everlasting Covenanted is weighted in our favor. If we “receive” Jesus, we also receive all that Jesus inherits from his Father: “[the] Father’s kingdom…therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him.” “They are they into whose hands the Father has given all things.”

The marriage covenant was one of love, security and comforting assurance. The bridegroom listed promises to always take care of his wife with food, clothing, necessities, redemption and affectionate attention. We would expect the same treatment by our relationship with the Lord in the Covenant. The text of Psalms 37 in the Jewish Tanakh reads: “The Lord is concerned for the needs of the blameless [the bride]; their portion lasts forever; they shall not come to grief in bad times; in famine, they shall eat their fill…. I have never seen a righteous man abandoned, or his children seeking bread. [The Lord] is always generous.”

By taking some license, we might personalize the promise of continuous caring that Jesus gave to his apostles on both continents:

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin; And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith. Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Another stipulation of the marriage contract was the bridegroom’s vow to redeem his wife should were she ever taken captive. Lehi assured his son Jacob of the surety of the Lord’s redemption: “Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth. Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice.”

All of us have sinned and to one extent or another have been taken captive by the enemy. Each of us is in need of the Bridegroom’s promise of redemption: “and he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people.” We are reminded of Abraham, a type of the Savior, who assembled an army to rescue Lot and his household from their enemies when they had been taken captive. “And [Abraham] brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people.” Thus by covenant, the Bridegroom places all that he has and is, including his own life, on the altar of sacrifice to redeem us from our enemies and to clear every obstacle that stands between us and exaltation.

Finally, the bridegroom promised to live with his wife with love and affection. Donna Nielsen wrote,

The third and last promise in the [marriage contract] was the groom’s promise to live as a husband with the bride and to give her an opportunity to bear children. In Hebrew ‘to bear children’ was synonymous with the term ‘to bear fruit.’ Children were called the ‘fruit of the womb (Luke 1:42).

To first be married (oneness) and to then bear fruit (fruitfulness) was considered by the ancients to be the measure of one’s creation. The oneness and fruitfulness shared by a husband and wife is described by the Savior (the True Vine) in the following verse: “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” As long as we abide in the Covenant with him, he promises to abide in us, and together our union will be one of abundant fruitfulness.

Moreover, he promises his continuous affection. Nephi called these acts of affection “tender mercies,” gentle reminders of his love and awareness, love notes from the one who knows and adores us most. “Behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen.” These evidences of love flow to us quietly but continually; they are a “multitude of his tender mercies.” When the bride recognizes her husband’s constant goodness, she is brought to tears for her good fortune: “And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them.”

The marriage contract was often elaborately decorated, a piece of art and thus as a thing of beauty. It contained the words of a binding and holy agreement, and the bride cherished it. The marriage contract was tangible proof of her future husband’s devotion and her immutable rights. Again, we hear overtones of the New and Everlasting Covenant. No doctrine is more glorious. We cling to the Covenant because it offers us the Bridegroom’s guarantees of continually providing for us, keeping us safe, redeeming us from our enemies, and living with us in loving and fruitful companionship. The Covenant promises us the Bridegroom’s name, and it reminds us of the great price that he paid for us. The Covenant guarantees that he will endow us with all that he is and has. It states that we, his bride, are his “great treasure,” and the Covenant reminds us that he has given his own blood to seal the covenant. What bride would not cherish such a document, especially if it was backed up by years of verifiable devotion?

The Gift of Value

The presentation of the marriage contract was followed by the bridegroom’s offering his beloved “a token,” that is, “a gift of value.” This gift was different from the bride price, which the bridegroom had paid to the young woman’s father. In this case, the groom offered the token directly to his intended bride. “The groom’s gift was considered to be an extension of himself….It also symbolized his willingness to sacrifice and served as a reminder of his love. A gold ring was frequently used as this token or gift because it represented eternity. Anciently, the ring used was often a link from a gold chain. The chain represented past and future family associations and was seen as symbolically linking the girl to her new family.”

Sometimes the “gift of value” was silver or gold coins. A devoted bride would often make a chain of the coins and attach them “to her veil as an important part of her headdress.” In private and in public, she was spoken for, beloved, and ever abiding in the covenant. If she lost something this valuable, she would take it as a tragedy. Jesus’ parable of the lost coin makes more sense in this light; the loss of something so precious could indicate that she had been careless with the token that her betrothed husband had given her. Clearly, our treatment of the Lord’s gifts is an indication of our respect for him and the Covenant that we have entered into. The tokens he gives us are the emblems of his sacrifice represented by the emblems of the sacrament.

The Pledge

After the bridegroom had paid the bride price, offered his beloved the covenantal marriage contract, and given her the token or gift of value, he “recited a ritual statement to consecrate himself to his bride.” For example, the Biblical prophet, Hosea, speaking for the Lord, pledged, “And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.”

Donna Nielsen explained that the word “consecrate, wherein the groom consecrated himself to the bride, is used to mean, ‘to devote irrevocably.’ The groom has no options here-no escape clauses-there is no question ever that he would rescind his invitation to the woman to marry. He cannot break this [covenant] if the woman remains faithful, for he is bound if she fulfills her part of the covenant.”

Just so, Christ consecrates and devotes himself to us irrevocably when he offers us the Covenant. He will absolutely live up to every promise made in the Covenant. The scriptures are replete with such language. For example, “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled.” “Ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the Lord your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof.” “Who am I, saith the Lord, that have promised and have not fulfilled?”

The Cup to Seal the Covenant

Now the bride had before her the marriage covenant, which stated the bride price, and the token or gift of value. She had heard the bridegroom make an irrevocable pledge stating his eternal devotion and indivisible consecration to her. At this point, he placed before her a cup of wine, which represented blood. Donna Nielsen wrote, “The idea was that the blood of the covenant superseded all other loyalties.” The wine also signified sacrifice and joy. “These three elements [blood, sacrifice and joy] were intrinsic to the marriage relationship….Now came the suspenseful part. At this point, the woman had about thirty seconds to make up her mind….If the woman was willing to receive the man and his proposed condition, she would accept his gift [token] and also drink the cup of wine, which sealed the covenant. This showed that she was willing to take his name upon her.”

When the Savior offers us the New and Everlasting Covenant, we must not vacillate but rather make a firm decision. Our being “lukewarm” only summons the Savior’s rebuke. Elijah became indignant with such indecision: “How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him.” However, in the act of acceptance, we see glimpses of our saying yes to baptism, receiving the sacrament, and consenting to taking our temple covenants and ordinances. Drinking of the cup is implied in every covenant-making instance: “But Jesus answered and said…Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able. And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with.”

The bride’s drinking of the cup of wine had to be witnessed by two observers. If and when the bride drank of the cup, the couple was considered betrothed for marriage. “Following the woman’s acceptance, the groom and sometimes the girl’s father recited additional formal statements….To the bride, the groom would speak the words, ‘Thou art set apart (or consecrated) for me according to the law of Moses and Israel.’ Interestingly, the same word for ‘set apart,’ in the New Testament Greek, ‘hagiazo’ was also used to describe the state of a temple once it was dedicated.”

The bride’s body was now considered a temple for her husband. Likewise, when we enter the Covenant our bodies become temples for the spirit of the Lord. That idea was suggested by Paul: “Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” And in another place, “The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”

All of this suggests, of course, that the marriage covenant represented more than mere ritual or the rehearsing of words. To become valid and eternal, those outward ritualistic actions had to become an inward condition of two hearts bound together by love:

But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel [the bride]; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people [my bride]. And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord.” Most intimately and most completely, we will know the Bridegroom, and our love would not permit us to violate our Covenant with him. “This is eternal lives–to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. Receive ye, therefore, my law.

The Covenantal Feast

The betrothal ceremony often ended with a feast at the home of the bride. Included in the feast would be the “breaking of bread.” By partaking of the “same loaf at the same table,” the participants became bound together as companions. Significantly, the sharing of a meal together followed the couple’s entering into a covenant.

We cast our thoughts immediately upon the sacrament table and the Lord’s supper, which among other things reminds us of our previously having entered into the New and Everlasting Covenant with the Lord through baptism. Additionally, the sacrament reminds us that we are “in waiting,” anticipating the time when the Bridegroom will come for us and take us into the place that he has prepared for us in the mansions of his Father. We are always in a state of remembrance, obediently preparing and patiently anticipating the Bridegroom.

The sacrament also helps us to hearken back to the day when we accepted the Lord’s proposal and made mutual vows to each other in the presence of two witnesses. That was the day when we formalized our covenant with Lord by being immersed in the living waters or in other words drinking fully from the cup of his love. To commemorate the day we entered into the New and Everlasting Covenant, we eat a covenantal meal containing broken bread from the same loaf.

Therefore, by the bread and the cup of wine, we keep forefront in our minds our love for and hope in our loving Bridegroom; we hold in sacred remembrance our immutable vows to each other; we know that he will someday come at an unannounced hour to carry us away to the place that he has prepared for us, our eternal inheritance-”our mansion”-where we will live with him forever in the house of his Father.

Next Time

In the next segment of this four-part series, we will examine the events that occur during the waiting period-the time between the betrothal and the wedding. We will examine the father’s calling, some symbolic clothing, the responsibility of the friend of the bridegroom, and the importance of the bridegroom and the bride’s preparing for each other.

Publisher’s Note

The Three Pillars of Zion is an extensive 5-volume set of books that explores the covenants, attributes and characteristics that define a Zion person. This Zion series is heavily documented with over 3,800 references, making it one of the most extensive research projects ever written about Zion. New York Times best-selling author, Ron McMillan, says, “Larry Barkdull has written one of the most definitive works on the subject of Zion.” This ground-breaking series contains one of the most critical messages for our day. We invite you to learn more and receive a complimentary copy of the Pillars of Zion Sampler at www.PillarsOfZion.com.

D&C 105:4

D&C 76:69

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.21

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.25-26

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.21, referencing John J. Collins, “Marriage, Divorce, and Family in Second Temple Judaism,” Browning, p.104-162

1 Corinthians 7:23

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.22

Genesis 29:20

Acts 20:28

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.23

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.111

D&C 20:77

D&C 84:38

D&C 76:55

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.111

Psalms 37:18-19, 25-26, Tanakh

3 Nephi 13:28-33

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.112

2 Nephi 2:6-7

Alma 7:12

Genesis 14:16

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.114

See Joseph Fielding Smith, The Restoration of All Things, p.244

John 15:5

1 Nephi 1:20

1 Nephi 8:8

Ether  6:12

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.28

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.28

See D&C 98:14; 132:19

See Verse 7, “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief,” Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, #153

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.29

Hosea  2:19-20

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.31

D&C 1:38

Joshua 23:14

D&C 58:31

See Revelation 3:15-16

1 Kings18:21

Matthew 20:22-23

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.30-31

1 Corinthians  6:19

1 Corinthians 3:17

Jeremiah 31:33-34

D&C 132:24

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.20-21, 32

See 1 Corinthians 11:20

See Enos 1:27; Ether 12:32, 34, 37; D&C 98:18

See Matthew 20:22-23; 3 Nephi 18:8-9

(NOTE: This article is the first part of four articles adapted from Chapter 8 of The Three Pillars of Zion. You can download a free Sampler of this new Zion series at www.PillarsOfZion.com.)

According to D&C 42:67, a Zion life is built upon three “pillars.” These pillars are:

1. The New and Everlasting Covenant
2. The Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood
3. The Law of Consecration

The New and Everlasting Covenant Compared to Jewish Marriage

Throughout the scriptures, the marriage metaphor is used to describe our covenantal relationship with the Lord. He is the Bridegroom and the Church is the bride. By extension, we, individually, are his bride: “For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.” We are to prepare ourselves for the time the Bridegroom comes to receive us: “Wherefore, be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom–For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that I come quickly.” We are to become prepared and beautiful for him: “adorned as a bride.”

That the Lord chose marriage to describe the New and Everlasting Covenant should summon our solemn contemplation. Marriage is the summit of gospel covenants, the relationship that is the most intimate, most enduring and the most loving of unions. Marriage is the relationship in which the power of God to create is manifest; children spring from this union; multiplication, replenishment and fruitfulness become possible. The metaphor of marriage suggests the abandonment of selfish interests, profound loyalty and complete sacrifice.

Marriage requires the entire consecration of one’s time, talents and resources to his or her companion, the totality of all that one is and all that one has. Marriage is a covenantal lifestyle that results in oneness, a relationship wherein the partners are no longer “twain, but one flesh,” joined together by God, and intended to endure beyond man’s attempts to put asunder. If marriage is to be successful, it requires losing one’s life in selfless service to and the loving of one’s spouse; then, in return, marriage leads to finding one’s life in a more exalted purpose.

Marriage urges the best of behavior in the partners: “and they shall mention the loving kindness of their Lord, and all that he has bestowed upon them according to his goodness, and according to his loving kindness, forever and ever.” Marriage is yoking together to ease one another’s burdens, and the mutual sharing of each other’s challenges: “In all their afflictions he was afflicted…and in his love, and in his pity, he redeemed them, and bore them, and carried them all the days.” By purpose and by design marriage is eternal, the highest order of celestial living, the ultimate source of happiness, and significantly the highest order of the Priesthood.

Conversely, disloyalty to the marriage covenant is a grievous sin, “most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost.” Clearly, the Lord takes seriously the New and Everlasting Covenant and expects us to do the same.

In the foreword of Donna B. Nielsen’s excellent work, The Beloved Bridegroom, Dr. Robert J. Norman wrote, “The wedding ceremony was a metaphor often used by Christ and the Old Testament authors. A study of the Jewish marriage customs yields a wealth of spiritual understanding and deeper insight into the teachings of Jesus and the Biblical prophets.” Donna Nielsen explained, “A knowledge of Biblical marriage imagery can greatly enrich our understanding of how God relates to us through covenants.

Biblical covenant marriage imagery encompasses principles as diverse as Sabbath observance, the Atonement, temple worship, and missionary work. It literally begins with Adam and ends with Zion.” Let us, therefore, examine the New and Everlasting Covenant by contrasting it with the Jewish marriage tradition. In advance, we thank Donna B. Nielsen for her generous support in providing access to her research.

Born to Marry

Elder John A. Widstoe stated that marriage is “the most important event between birth and death,” and certainly the Jewish people agreed. We cannot overstate the importance of marriage in Jewish society. Marriage was clearly linked to the covenant God made with Israel; in fact, we might say that children were born with the purpose of marrying.

Donna Nielsen stated that an infant male “was often affectionately called ‘the little bridegroom.’ This reflected one of three great hopes that parents had for their children, namely that their children would: study Torah (study the scriptures), be under the wedding canopy (marry in the covenant), and do good deeds (live righteous lives).” Immediately, we see the connection between marriage and the New and Everlasting Covenant. From the moment of birth, our life’s purpose should be to learn about and prepare for the Bridegroom, enter into a Covenant with the Bridegroom, and do the works of the Bridegroom. As much as Jewish children were born to marry, we are born to enter into the Covenant.

Because marriage was the goal of life, husbands and wives married at an early age. No later than eighteen was the norm, and most often they married years before that. A boy became a Son of the Law by age thirteen, and technically one month later he was considered of marriageable age. Girls were eligible at twelve years and one month.

In today’s culture, we might have difficulty imagining Joseph and Mary, two teenagers, taking on the heavy responsibility of marriage and caring for the Savior of the world. Also, we might struggle with the concept that Jesus could have been married for 12-15 years and had children before he began his ministry at age thirty. But according to Jewish custom, these facts probably hold true. Marriage was the focal point of Jewish life, and we might imagine that Joseph and Mary, and later Jesus, followed the prevailing tradition by marrying in their teens.

The Parents’ Responsibility and the Bride’s Choice

Marriages were thought to be too important to be left to chance. Fathers and mothers made these decisions for their children. Who else loved the child more? Who else had the child’s best interests in mind? Who else wanted the child’s happiness more than the parents? Today, we might cringe at this ancient custom, but Jewish children expected their parents to advocate for their happiness. Despite the fact that the parents were expected to prayerfully deliberate then introduce their children to their intended spouse, the children owned the ultimate choice. Their agency was never violated.

Today, of course, parents do not formally choose their children’s mates, but the similarity to the ancient custom is clear: Parents have the responsibility to introduce their children to Christ. Fathers, by virtue of their holding the priesthood, have the responsibility to take their children into the waters of baptism and help them to enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant with Jesus. Now the children are given over or married to Christ by Covenant, and taking upon them his name, they begin a relationship with him that will end up in the mansions of his Father.

Love for each other was expected to be cultivated after the marriage, not necessarily before. We note that after Isaac married Rebekah he grew in his love for her. This reversal of order might seem strange to us, but the implication is intriguing: Covenant people grow together in love as they remain true to each other. When we enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant, we do so without a full appreciation for or love of the Lord. These things take time. But as we live together in the Covenant and as we have experience with the Lord, we grow to love him more and more. “The Semetic root word for ‘love’ is haw or hav. It means ‘to warm’ or ‘to kindle,’ ‘to set on fire.’” Over time, our love for the Bridegroom grows from an ember to a blazing fire until love becomes as perfect as the God of love, who “dwells in everlasting burnings.”

Requirements to Legalize the Covenant

The marriage covenant “had serious implications. There were three parts that were vital to a completed marriage contract in Biblical times. These were money, writ, and intercourse. All three of these conditions had to be met for a marriage to be recognized as legal.” The groom was expected to pay a bride price for his beloved. Then he was to offer her a marriage contract, a writ or ketuba, whereby he consecrated himself to his bride. Finally, the marriage had to be consummated; that is, he must know his wife through intercourse. This last condition fulfilled the requirement that blood be shed to complete the covenant.

Thus, in both marriage and in the New and Everlasting Covenant, we (the bride) are:

1. “Bought with a price.”
2. United by covenant according to the Law of Consecration, which is “the law of the celestial kingdom.”
3. Known, or “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood.”

When we consider these conditions, we begin to understand the price that Jesus was willing to pay to draw us to him, redeem us and secure our eternal affections. Marvin Wilson wrote:

…the joining of a man and a woman is a reenactment or replica of God’s eternal covenant relation to his chosen. To understand Biblical marriage is to understand the Biblical concept of covenant. In Hebrew ‘to make a covenant’ is literally ‘to cut a covenant’….The shedding of blood dramatically ratified and sealed the covenant (Genesis 15:9-18; Jeremiah 34:18-20). If one attempted to break the covenant, the blood served as a powerful visual lesson that one’s own blood would be shed. In brief, it was a solemn oath to be kept on pain of death. It was thus inviolable and irrevocable.”

Initiating the Marriage Proposal

The bridegroom initiated the process of offering the covenant of marriage to the bride. When we consider this action in light of the New and Everlasting Covenant, we see something tender and loving about the character of the Savior. We are immediately impressed by the fact that he, not us, invites us into the New and Everlasting Covenant. Clearly, “we love Him because he loved us first.”

When we are baptized, we often miss the fact that Jesus was the one who reached out to us and bade us enter into an eternal covenantal relationship with him. We sometimes mistakenly think that we were the ones who instigated the process, but according to the Jewish marriage tradition, that is not true. In advance of every baptism is Jesus’ implied invitation. This fact speaks to his adoring love for us. He is the Bridegroom and we are his potential bride. He is the one who begins the covenant-making process. He does this through the Holy Ghost and through his authorized representatives: fathers, Home Teachers, bishops or missionaries.

The occasion of the marriage proposal often happened at the harvest season, suggesting a bounteous relationship and a fruitful future. Likewise, when we join with the Lord in the Covenant, we glorify both him and his Father and we “bear much fruit” together. The proposal procedure began by the bridegroom’s going to the house of the bride. He was accompanied by his father or a close friend(s). We immediately envision a small entourage, a companionship, two or more witnesses like missionary companions, on an important mission to convey an invitation of infinite worth to the intended bride.

In her presence, the bridegroom would make the covenantal offer while his friend(s) would support him and bear witness of the event. This was the beginning of holiness, for truly, upon her acceptance of the marriage covenant, the bride would effectively ascribe holiness unto the Lord, her new husband. Donna Nielsen wrote: “The collective term for all that broadly comprises a Jewish marriage is Kiddushin, which literally means ‘sanctities.’ This concept includes the ideas of being devoted irrevocably, being sanctified and set apart, and being consecrated.” Clearly, the Jewish marriage is the perfect metaphor for the New and Everlasting Covenant.

Entering into the Covenant

The Bridegroom’s proposal to us includes sacred rituals that consecrate him to us (the bride), and our accepting his proposal consecrates us to him. We hear overtures of the Law of Consecration in this. Other symbolisms of the New and Everlasting Covenant become evident as the betrothal ceremony unfolds. In the Jewish marriage, the groom offered the bride’s father a bride price-she was “bought with a price.”

Then the bridegroom presented his potential bride a written covenant of marriage that he had prepared. Then he offered her a “gift of value,” which represented a “token” of his promise and an “emblem” of his love. With the token he recited a pledge to irrevocably bind and consecrate himself to her forever. Then, in the presence of two witnesses, he placed before his beloved a cup of wine. If she drank of the cup, the contract of marriage was ratified or sealed, and the betrothal period began. Moreover, by drinking of the cup, she indicated her willingness to take upon herself her husband’s name. At that point, the couple, along with their guests, shared a covenantal meal.

Thus, by these rituals that were rich in imagery, the bridegroom and bride entered into the eternal covenant of marriage. When the ceremony was complete, the only question that remained was would the rituals that represented the marriage covenant translate into life-long acts of devotion and consecration? That is, would the couple’s covenant become royal by their subsequent loyalty, patience, sacrifice and love? Or would the Covenant remain a set of symbols and a piece of paper upon which promises had been made but never enacted?

Next Time

In the next segment of this four-part series, we will examine the beautiful rites that were associated with the Jewish custom of betrothal that initiated the marriage and preceded the wedding

Publisher’s Note

The Three Pillars of Zion is an extensive 5-volume set of books that explores the covenants, attributes and characteristics that define a Zion person. This Zion series is heavily documented with over 3,800 references, making it one of the most extensive research projects ever written about Zion. New York Times best-selling author, Ron McMillan, says, “Larry Barkdull has written one of the most definitive works on the subject of Zion.” This ground-breaking series contains one of the most critical messages for our day. We invite you to learn more and receive a complimentary copy of the Pillars of Zion Sampler at www.PillarsOfZion.com.

See Revelation 21:2, 9-10; 22:17

Isaiah  62:5

D&C 33:17; see also D&C 88:92; 133:10, 19

D&C 109:74

Matthew 19:6

See Matthew 10:39

D&C 133:52

Matthew 11:30

D&C 133:53

See D&C 132:19

See D&C 131:2

See David O. McKay, Man May Know for Himself: Teachings of President David O. McKay, compiled by Clare Middlemiss, p.235

See Bruce R. McConkie, “Patriarchal Order,” Mormon Doctrine, p.559

Alma 39:5

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. iii

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 2

John A. Widtsoe, Evidences and Reconciliations, p.297

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 4

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 2

See Enos 1:27; Ether 12:32-37; D&C 59:2; 98:18

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.13

See Genesis 24:67

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.13

See 1 John 4:8

Isaiah 33:14-15

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 18

See 1 Corinthians 6:20

D&C 105:4

D&C 76:69

Marvin Wilson, Our Father Abraham, p.205. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1989

1 John 4:19

See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.14

See John 15:8

See Exodus 39:30

Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.18

See 1 Corinthians 6:20

Following is a story of a Nevada couple who drew upon the power of their marriage sealing and simply loved.

When “James” was a teenager, he set about to self-destruct in record time. “Thomas and Alyssa,” his parents, were helpless to halt or alter his determination. A bad group of friends introduced him to alcohol and later, tobacco. When he began to fail badly in school, Thomas and Alyssa tried to help him with a tutor, but James soon lost all interest. Later, he dropped out of school, and later still, when Thomas and Alyssa had laid out a simple set of rules that James would not abide, they asked him to live elsewhere. By that time, he was using and selling drugs, stealing from his parents, and having frequent run-ins with the law. At one point, James was incarcerated for a year, but when he was released he continued with his destructive behavior.

To deal with the problem, Thomas and Alyssa did something remarkable: they pulled together as a couple. They renewed their marriage by frequent dating and trips. They increased their temple attendance, and they put more energy into their couple prayers. In the midst of one of the worst trials of their lives, they reacted by loving each other and God more.

Power in the Sealing for both Single and Married Parents

Though love is powerful, it requires a sealing of that love-in the temples of our God-to fully and finally save our children and cement our marriages. For single parents and those wishing to be sealed in the temple, this can be a painful reminder. However, though this article deals specifically with the power given to married couples who are sealed in the temple, many of its principles apply to singles, single parents, those working for eternal union with less-active spouses, and to children who are praying for their wayward parents. Faith and grace allow us to act as if we were in possession of that which we lack and to do all that we can do with the assurance that the Lord will make up the difference. Attesting to the truth of this comforting fact, President Lorenzo Snow said,

There is no Latter-day Saint who . . . will lose anything because of having failed to do certain things when opportunities were not furnished him or her. . . . If a young man or a young woman has no opportunity of getting married, and they live faithful lives up to the time of their death, they will have all the blessings, exaltation, and glory that any man or woman will have who had this opportunity and improved it.

If this is the case, then why is a review of the value of temple marriage important? We can be comforted by an examination of these blessings of such a marriage, and we can be inspired to keep our eyes on the goal. When one finally has or again has the opportunity to fall in love, that love between a husband and a wife-through a temple marriage-solidifies the initial sealing of their marriage covenant into an unbreakable welding link. They become one in word, purpose, and deed, and that ultimate and final kind of unity is necessary to obtain the celestializing blessings of heaven in behalf of their children.

While our temple experience teaches us that the sealing of parents is provisional and based on subsequent obedience, we also become aware that no such qualifying language is used when a child is born in the covenant or when a child born outside the covenant is later sealed to his parents. This suggests that the Lord intends for the child to belong to the parents forever. President Joseph Fielding Smith said, “Those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents. Nothing except the unpardonable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie. If children do not sin as John said, ‘unto death,’ the parents may still feel after them and eventually bring them back near to them again.”

Whether a child is born into the covenant or the child is subsequently sealed to his parents, no conditions are mentioned, suggesting that the Lord intends for the child to belong to the parents forever. The prophets have stated repeatedly that the calling of parent is one from which we are never released. Such is the incredible power of the sealing ordinance. The covenants made and the sealing pronounced on parents married in the temple creates a patriarchal hold that secures children to their parents forever, pulling them into that covenant.

Sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise

Thus, for a man and a woman, the ultimate goals of love are to enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage, then persist in that covenant until their marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. The Holy Spirit of Promise is a “name-title used in connection with the sealing and ratifying power of the Holy Ghost.” Great power devolves upon a husband and wife who have married in the temple and lived worthily so that the Holy Spirit of Promise can validate their marriage. Elder Bruce C. Hafen wrote,

A covenant marriage in the highest sense will begin as a temple marriage. When the partners are then sufficiently righteous, the marriage will be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise (D&C 132:7), “which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true” (D&C 76:53). Such a marriage will then be not only eternal in duration but also celestial in quality, for it will be a marriage that partakes of God’s quality of life.

President James E. Faust made one of the clearest statements on the subject: “When the covenant of marriage for time and eternity, the culminating gospel ordinance, is sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, it can literally open the windows of heaven for great blessings to flow to a married couple who seek for those blessings.”

Contingent upon Faithfulness

This highest manifestation of gospel blessings is contingent upon our faithfulness to our covenants. Although marriage is an important step toward exaltation, it is not the ultimate step. Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote, “It should be clearly understood that these high blessings are not part of celestial marriage. ‘Blessings pronounced upon couples in connection with celestial marriage are conditioned upon the subsequent faithfulness of the participating parties.’”

If a man and a woman marry in the temple, thereby entering into the patriarchal order of the priesthood, and then remain worthy so that their marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, they are given greater power from on high to ask for and receive the highest blessings. These blessings include power to gather or call back their family to Christ (keys restored by Moses), power to organize their family into an eternal, celestial unit, including power to ensure that each family member receives all the blessings of the new and everlasting covenant (keys restored by Elias), and power to have all those blessings sealed so that these blessings might endure forever (keys restored by Elijah).

Speaking of these great blessings that flow to the children by the power of their parents’ temple sealing, Joseph Fielding Smith wrote: “These keys hold the power to seal husbands and wives for eternity as well as for time. They hold the power to seal children to parents, the key of adoption, by which the family organization is made intact forever. This is the power which will save the obedient from the curse in the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. Through these keys the hearts of the children have turned to their fathers.”

Unified in Love around our Covenants

So the key to rescuing our wayward children lies not only in our striving to be unified, but to be unified with respect to our covenants and increasing commitment to the sacrifices required when we receive the gifts of gospel blessings. Elder Russell M. Nelson wrote: “As you obey each of God’s commandments, your holiness will fortify the foundation of your fathers’ faith. When the two of you are together spiritually, one plus one is clearly greater than two.”

Back to the story of James and his parents:

Throughout these years of intense stress and heartbreak, Thomas and Alyssa kept in contact with James and assured him of their love for him. Thomas said, “Alyssa and I didn’t know what else to do. In the beginning, we prayed because that was all we could think to do. But over time, we discovered that parental prayer is a sort of right God gives fathers and mothers. We didn’t even know that we had such a right until we noticed our prayers being answered in miraculous ways.”

At one critical moment, James had moved to a new city and had no place to room. His parents knew that his decision would make or break him. His history had been to live with the low-lifes of society-jobless and hard partying, alcoholics and drug users. Now he was faced with a similar decision, and Thomas and Alyssa went to their knees. They pled with Heavenly Father to help James find an LDS person to live with. Within the week, James called and said that he had made a friend of a returned missionary who had invited him to be his roommate. James stayed with this young man until his next crisis.

Later, James called his father and announced that he and a woman with whom he had been having an affair, were going to buy a condo so they could live together. Despite Thomas’s stern counsel discouraging this, James had stubbornly made up his mind and once again announced that he was going to do things his way. Thomas and Alyssa went to their knees and prayed that something would happen to give James another choice.

Within the week, James called to tell his parents that the woman had broken up with him. He was hurt, but he had begun to date an LDS girl. Within a short period of time, James and the girl fell in love and wanted to get married. She had set her sites on a temple marriage, and that made James reconsider his life. He asked his father to give him a blessing. James went to his bishop, confessed, and gave up all his bad habits. The young woman was willing to wait for James as he completed the repentance process, and after a year, they were married in the temple. Of this miracle, Thomas and Alyssa say, “Couples may not know the power that God puts into their hands. A couple that has truly become one can sincerely pray for their children, and miracles will happen. That oneness calls forth a power we had never thought possible.”

To Truly Become One

Although love may motivate a man and woman to enter into marriage, only God has the power to truly make them one. Moroni revealed to Joseph Smith the sobering fact why this welding link-a temple sealing and subsequent sanctification-must be in place to make a couple (and their progenitors and children) one: so that “the whole earth [would not] be utterly wasted at [the Lord's] coming.” Robert L. Millet gives us further insight into this idea of the earth’s being wasted:

Why would the earth be wasted at his coming? Because the earth would not have accomplished its foreordained purpose of establishing on its face a family system patterned after the order of heaven. If there were no sealing powers whereby families could be bound together, then the earth would never “answer the end of its creation” (D&C 49:16). It would be wasted and cursed, for all men and women would be forever without root or branch, without ancestry or posterity.

With the merciful gift and commandment of having our marriages start across the temple altars, righteous parents are made one by God and sealed together with His unbreakable welding link. Then, as they faithfully persevere in their covenants, the Holy Spirit of Promise seals their marriage more surely so that the welding link that was set in place at the altar will never fail.

The children who issue forth from this union-or who are sealed into it-are surely secured to their parents by virtue of that same, sure weld. Despite their rebellion, they cannot break free. The power of their parents’ oneness, which was set in place by God and made sure by the Holy Spirit of Promise, has the power to hold onto the children and eventually reel them back. See 3 Nephi 17:20.

Notes

See Alma 26:11.
Lorenzo Snow, Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, 138.
See Bruce R. McConkie, “Celestial Marriage,” Mormon Doctrine, 117-18
Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, volume 2, 90
See M. Russell Ballard, “Let Our Voices be Heard,” Ensign, November 2003.
Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, “Holy Spirit of Promise,” 361.
Bruce C. Hafen, Covenant Hearts, 77.
James E. Faust, “The Gift of the Holy Ghost-A Sure Compass,” Ensign, April 1996, emphasis added.
Joseph Fielding Smith, quoted in Bruce R. McConkie’s Mormon Doctrine, “Calling and Election Sure,” 110.
Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Volume 2, 119, emphasis added.
Russell M. Nelson, The Power within Us, 113.
D&C 2:3, comments added.
Robert L. Millet, When a Child Wanders, 100-101.

Low commitment level, hurt feelings, misunderstandings-a variety of issues lend to a child’s becoming lukewarm to the gospel. Here is a letter from a mother who is trying to help her lukewarm son.

Dear Larry,

I have really enjoyed your articles on Meridian Magazine. I find them relevant because we have a “wandering” child who has been on his personal journey for more than a decade.  He is not yet safely back “in the fold,” although many of his attitudes and desires have changed over the years. Now he admits that he believes the doctrines. My husband and I continue our efforts in prayer, fasting, temple work, genealogy, and service, which we believe has helped to get him to this point. We are certain that he has experienced heaven’s protection during this difficult period of his life, and we are profoundly grateful for that. We hold out great hope for him.
I have a couple of questions for you.  One of my son’s issues is that he believes that the Lord is disappointed in him and that the opportunities and blessings he wishes he had in his life are no longer available to him. For example, he is still single, and he did not serve a mission.
Another issue is finding his place in the Church, which seems impossible to him. He is put off because he feels that the members are judging him for his past.
Of great interest to me is your mention of the importance of the sanctification of the parents as an aid to rescue their wayward children. This rings true to me, but I would appreciate a scriptural basis for it.
Thank you again for your perspectives and optimistic words.

Mother of a lukewarm child

***********

Dear Mother of a lukewarm child:

Let me try to offer some ideas.

Regarding the feeling of unworthiness–this is a very effective tactic used by Satan to paralyze us. Because we remember our sins, we are certain that we are not forgiven. We read the scriptures (D&C 58:42) that say that God forgets and we inaccurately assume that we should be able to forget, too.

Because God allows the memory to linger serves a valuable purpose. Would a child continue to touch the hot stove if his memory of the event was canceled from his mind? We remember for our own safety. For example, Alma and Paul vividly remembered their past, and they avoided making the same mistakes. Memories are the foundation upon which we can rebuild a life.

But a memory associated with guilt is another thing. If we have repented and continue to harbor guilt we are listening to the wrong voice. Guilt is only valuable if it leads to repentance, otherwise it serves no good purpose.

So how do we know that we are forgiven? When the bishop, who is the representative of Jesus Christ, pronounces us whole, we can believe it. Beyond that, there are two scriptural tests that come to mind:

1. Obedience. Are you trying to obey the commandments? “…the fulfilling the commandments bringeth remission of sins” (Moroni 8:25). What else could God expect of us than to turn away from sin and start obeying the commandments?
2. Tithes and offerings. Start paying tithes and offerings. Malachi, who was speaking for the Lord to the wayward Israelites, offered this invitation: “Return to me, and I will return to you, saith the Lord of Hosts.” Then anticipating that they would wonder how to return, he asked in their behalf, “But ye say, Wherein shall we return?” Significantly at this point, the Lord reminds them of their covenant to consecrate–and the answer is tithes and offerings. Every bishop will counsel a repentant person to demonstrate his faith in Christ by paying tithes and offerings. To return to the Lord and obey the commandments that bring remission of sins, start by paying tithes and offerings.

Now, as to the subject of judgment. This is usually another message sent to us by Satan. Our guilt makes us mind readers. We interpret every glance or comment as a judgment. While this might be true in some cases, I doubt that it is true in very many. The gospel of Jesus Christ fills people with charity, mercy and pity. One wants to throw his arms around the returning prodigal rather than push him away.

Here’s a test. Next testimony meeting, have your son stand and tell what a hard road he has traveled and how much he needs help. What do you think will happen? I’m sure he will get more love and attention than he has ever had. Do you think anyone would hang a scarlet letter on him or shun him every time he walks by? If he has the courage to stop listening to “the voice” that has always told him lies and tried to destroy him, if he has the courage to ask his brothers and sisters for help–even just a few trusted people–he will be overwhelmed by the love of the saints.

You asked for scriptural evidence of the redeeming effect that sanctifying one’s self can have on another. The best example that I know of is the Savior. Here are some excerpts from my upcoming book:

In his great intercessory prayer, the Savior taught that personal sanctification is theprinciple by which one person might save another. Just moments before Gethsemane, Jesus made the following statement: “For their sakes I sanctify myself that they also might be sanctified” (John 17:19). In other words, the first action, personal sanctification, makes possible the second action, the saving of another. We often think of sanctification in the context of being cleansed from sin-and it is certainly that-but here we see Jesus, who had no sin, sanctifying himself. Obviously, there are greater reasons to persist in the process of sanctification beyond repentance. So how did Jesus sanctify himself? We see the answer in the context of the 17^thchapter of John 17: He sanctified himself through strict obedience, partaking of the sacrament, entering into a fast, making a sacrifice and offering mighty prayer (which I believe is prayer preceded by sacrifice).

 In Jesus’ example we find keys to the sanctification process. In the last hours of his life what does he do? After having lived a life of perfect obedience, he partakes of the sacrament; then he enters into a fast, in which he does not eat or drink through the end of his life; then he offers an infinite vicarious sacrifice coupled with mighty prayer. Clearly, in addition to other sanctifying principles, obedience, partaking of the sacrament, fasting, offering sacrifice and mighty prayer are some essential keys to personal sanctification.

The Savior’s example of personal sanctification teaches us that we can shine a bright beam on those we love by focusing on fundamental gospel principles, such as increasing our obedience, worthily partaking of the sacrament; fasting with purpose, and offering mighty prayer coupled with sacrifice. With regard to offering sacrifice, interestingly, the sacrifice that seems to be most Christlike-or Saviorlike-is vicarious sacrifice, or proxy sacrifice. Is it any wonder, then, that some of the most powerful prayers that we offer are in the temple in the most sacred location of the temple, after we have performed a vicarious sacrifice for someone who could not otherwise achieve salvation? If we will pay attention in the temple, we will learn that parents, who are united in love and who sanctify themselves, are endowed with power to pray for angels in behalf of their children. Clearly, the prayers offered by sanctified parents for their children are only exceeded in power by the prayers of Jesus Christ. 

I hope this helps you.

Larry Barkdull