How should we react when we perceive that a person is in misery? Jesus gave us the answer in the parable of the Prodigal Son.[i]
The Heart of the Gospel Message
Luke recounted an instance when Jesus was eating with known sinners.[ii] This incensed the Pharisees, and they challenged Jesus about the propriety of his actions. Apparently, the thing that disturbed the Pharisees more than sinners living amongst them was the Lord’s willingness to have fellowship with such people. Jesus’ response to the Pharisee’s criticism was his relating three parables: The Lost Sheep, The Lost Coin and The Prodigal Son. The central themes of these parables are the love of Christ, the value he places on a wayward soul, and his disdain for hypocrisy in people who ought to be about the work of the Father. These parables are sometimes called the heart of the gospel. If the gospel doesn’t work on this level, nothing else matters.
When we read these parables, we are drawn to how much value Jesus places on a wayward soul and the effort he is willing to expend to reclaim that soul. But there is a side story that is often overlooked: the story of the prodigal son’s brother—the other prodigal.
The Other Prodigal “would not go in”
We are informed that when the prodigal son finally returned home, his father immediately reinstated the boy into full family fellowship, which was represented by the robe, ring and shoes. Then the father called together his household for a celebration and a feast. Everyone was happy, except one: the prodigal’s brother. Upon hearing the news that the prodigal had returned and was suddenly his equal, the brother reacted with anger and discouragement. Significantly, we are told, he stood outside his father’s house “and would not go in.” The symbolism of remaining outside the Father’s house is striking.
When the father came out to beg the second son to reconsider (notice that the father has now rushed to recover both his sons), the boy complained that he was being treated unfairly. This selfish attitude betrays the boy’s true character. Was he really the dutiful son? Was he really interested in his father and his father’s concerns? If he had been interested in his father’s concerns, why had he apparently abandoned his father to shoulder alone the burden of a lost son? We have no mention of the second son’s waiting with his father, day after day, scanning the horizon for a familiar figure to finally appear. Over the long, agonizing years, did the second son ever kneel with his father to plead for his brother to reconsider his ways and return home?
There are other glaring character flaws. For example, Jesus makes no mention that this brother ever tried to talk his prodigal sibling out of leaving home or thereafter to go out and try to find him. We wonder if he was relieved that he no longer had to associate with his sinful brother. Perhaps his judgment of his brother urged the separation in the first place. After his prodigal brother departed, did the brother continue to criticize his brother’s actions by comparing them to his own? When he received news that his prodigal brother had wasted his substance on riotous living and was now eating with the pigs, did he say in his heart, “Well, at last my brother has received his due”?
Prodigals Among Us
I spoke with a prodigal recently. She is sick of her sinful life and wants to come home. She made an attempt recently, quietly sitting alone on the back row of Relief Society. No one came to sit by her; no one shook her hand. She attracted what she interpreted as judgmental glances. You see, in her neighborhood, she is a known sinner. She came to church for love and relief but she was met by Pharisees. Now she is afraid for her daughter, who also wants to return to church, but this daughter is an unwed mother who is struggling to recover from years of drug abuse. And everybody in the ward knows. Both of them could make it all the way home, if someone would rush to their side, help them return, greet them with a robe, ring, shoes, and throw a celebratory feast. At this critical moment, a true friend could make all the difference. The mother and the daughter want to escape the “far country,” stop eating with the swine and return to the full fellowship of home, but they are not sure if their brothers and sisters will welcome them.
Remember, the heart of the gospel message is The Lost Sheep, The Lost Coin and The Prodigal Son. If the gospel does not power to save from incredible distances, it is just a nice philosophy. Jesus gave these parables to defend his preferring to work with sinners over his seeking the fellowship of the self-righteous. He set the perfect example of being about his Father’s business, which is redemption. He always had his antennae up, searching for the one who had wandered, seeking the one who was lost, and patiently waiting and praying for the rebellious one to reconsider and start home.
True sons and daughters of God do the work of their Father. Like Jesus, they plead with their prodigal siblings not to leave home, but when that happens, they go out to find them. They search the mountains and valleys; they shine a light and sweep and seek for their precious missing brothers and sisters. When nothing else works, they sit patiently with their Father and scan the horizon for the first motion of their loved ones’ return. They pray with their Father, hurt with their Father, yearn with their Father, and finally they rejoice with their Father and support him in his decisions when their prodigal siblings come home. In every way, they do as Jesus does: they do the work of the Father. They devote their lives to the plan of redemption. They always have their antennae up, looking for opportunities to bring people to Christ.
I will love you even if…
All the gospel learning in the world does not compensate for failure to do the work of redemption. Both Paul and Mormon—two witnesses!—taught us that without charity we are nothing.[iii] Charity is a different kind of love; it is the celestial quality of love–saving love. “Charity is the pure love of Christ,” meaning the type of love that comprises the power of Christ to search out, seek, wait patiently, reinstate and rejoice.
True sons and daughters of God are “filled with this love.”[iv] They assume that there are “no coincidences in the lives of righteous people.”[v] They are not afraid to love: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.”[vi] Rather, when they encounter someone who is hurting and who wants to come home, they show love unconditionally; they respond with their consecrated time, talents and means to embrace and rescue the tender prodigal.
True sons and daughters of God test their love against the “even if” list.
- I will love you even if you … lie.
- I will love you even if you … steal.
- I will love you even if you … yell at me.
- I will love you even if you … abandon your covenants.
- I will love you even if you … drink, smoke, take drugs.
- I will love you even if you … commit sexual sin.
- I will love you even if you … choose an alternative lifestyle.
- I will love you even if you … leave home and don’t talk with me for years.
- I will love you even if you … betray me.
- I will love you even if you … are committed to prison.
- I will love you even if you … have an abortion.
We might ask ourselves where our love ceases for a family member. Where does our love cease for a non-family member? Where, would we suppose, does God’s love cease? One of the exacting prices of becoming like God is to learn to love “even if.”
Genuine love—charity—saving love—offers returning prodigals a soft place to land. Harsh judgment will turn them away; charity will embrace them and create a network of healing support. If they have no friends, they might return home, but they will not remain.
Hypocrisy at Its Worst
Hugh Nibley wrote: “The worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistence on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism….”[vii]
The worst kind of hypocrisy is to pretend piety and loyalty to God but turn away from the work of God. The prodigal’s brother proclaimed his righteousness, but had never lifted a finger to help his father bring his brother back. Then when his prodigal brother finally did return, he would not accept his brother as an equal part of the family. He judged that his brother was unworthy of the family’s love. He refused to participate in the Father’s work of redemption, but he expected the Father to reward him anyway.
The Opposite of Love is Apathy
Hypocrisy is at its worst when it rears its head with harsh judgment or idly standing by. Elder Marvin J. Ashton said, “Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is.”[viii]
Every prodigal takes a tremendous risk when he (she) makes the effort to come home. He simply does not know if love and welcome await him. A ring, robe and shoes and a celebratory feast are beyond his imagination. More than likely, the prodigal will slip into church quietly the first time, hoping that no one notices the odor on his clothes or his unconventional appearance. Perhaps, prodigals are already among us and have come and gone for a long time. Or perhaps they regularly attend, but retreat to an area where they can sit alone and try to remain unnoticed–somewhere they can silently scream because of the pain they are experiencing.
True sons and daughters of God will do the work of the Father and seek out their prodigal brothers and sisters. True sons and daughters of God will manifest unconditional love, the pure love of Christ that has the power to save. True sons and daughters of God will withhold judgment, and not sit by as apathetic observers. True sons and daughters of God are striving to become saviors in the similitude of the Savior.
Author’s Note
My thanks to John Unice and Jerry Garrett who gave me the inspiration for this article.
Parts of this article were adapted from my book, Rescuing Wayward Children. Follow this link to learn more.)
Also, get a sample of my new 5-book series on Zion: The Three Pillars of Zion. Click here.
[i] Luke 15:11-32.
[ii] Luke 15:1-2.
[iii] 1 Corinthians 1:1-3; Moroni 7:46.
[iv] Moroni 7:47-48.
[v] “Encouraging Advice Prophetic for Couple Embarking on Future,” LDS Church News, 07/11/98.
[vi] 1 John 4:18.
[vii] Nibley, Approaching Zion, 53–54.
[viii] Marvin J. Ashton, Ensign, Feb 1993, 64.
H. Wallace Goddard observed that charity has three meanings: Love from Christ, Love for Christ, Love like Christ. The process of loving begins when we feel Jesus reaching after us (Love from Christ).
Somewhere along the path the miracle of His love breaks down our resistance. As we begin to understand His goodness and redemptiveness, we are changed. We are filled with a profound awe and gratitude for Him. We experience the stirrings of hope. Without this conversion, we are nothing spiritually (1 Cor. 13:2; 2 Ne. 26:30; Moro. 7:44, 46; D&C 18:19). As the amazing truth of His unrelenting love pierces our hearts, we are led to the second kind of charity, love for Christ. “We love him, because he first loved us” (1 Jn. 1:19). . . . As soon as we glimpse His love for us we instinctively love Him in return. We fall at His feet and bathe them with tears of gratitude. Why would He do all He has done to love and rescue my flawed soul? Why??? The answer is charity. As we feel the love from Him and for Him, we naturally love like Him. We become saviors on Mount Zion with Him.
True Love in Marriage and Family
Interestingly, a temple marriage-especially one that is built upon the foundation of charity-is called a saving ordinance. Temple marriage saves a man and woman. Marriage is one of the greatest evidences of God’s salvation. In an act of unequalled charity, He snatches two individuals from their fallen condition, introduces them to each other as his beloved son and daughter, and invites them to experience His exalted meaning of love and thus partake of the fullness of His glory. Through marriage God saves the couple, they save each other, and others are saved in the process. Amazingly, by means of the couple’s saving marriage, their progenitors now experience a higher manifestation of salvation, for “they without us cannot be made perfect.”
Likewise, future generations are saved by the couple’s marriage. As children are born into this union, they are saved by the love and the covenants of their parents. Therefore, by the couple’s entering into the saving relationship of marriage, the children become the focal point of eternity for untold generations past and future.
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” states that husbands and wives, by virtue of their marriage vows, have a solemn obligation to love and care for one another. As couples continue to court and care for one another, they ensure their love will never die. Likewise, to keep their love vibrant, husbands and wives might try applying two keys of courting: anticipate the needs of their companion, then surprise and delight with constant acts of love. It has been said that children can receive no greater gift than being reared by parents who love each other.
Surely there can be nothing greater than the love that Heavenly Father has for our Heavenly Mother. A husband wrote about his contemplation of this idea and how it helped him to be a better partner:
After three and a half decades of marriage, I was one day distressed by the realization that, as much as I loved my wife, my level of love for her paled in comparison to the love that Heavenly Father has for His wife. His love is perfect love; mine is not. Therefore, I realized that I had a ways to go. Because charity is a spiritual gift, I began to pray that I could learn to love my wife as Heavenly Father loves his wife. Every time I prayed, I received the same answer, Do more for your wife. Love, I learned, is a feeling that has expression and grows by loving actions. If I wanted to love more, I needed to do more, and I needed to do all this for no selfish expectation, and only for the pure purpose of expressing love. Whereas worldly love often diminishes with time, charitable love increases until it becomes perfect and becomes like the love shared by our Heavenly Parents. Do I love my wife more now than when we married in 1972? Much more. Why? Because over the years we have shared so many loving experiences. My love for her is not perfect, but I am determined that it will be, and that is sure to be a wonderful journey.
To Love First
How does love grow? It grows as we love someone first. “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us . . . We love him, because he first loved us.” We love first, and then love is returned. As we discussed in chapter seven, it is an oft-repeated scriptural formula that has many applications: “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”
Elder Boyd K. Packer said it this way: “As you give what you have, there is a replacement, with increase!” Love is returned by someone’s loving first; love increases by being loving; love cleaveth unto love like “light cleaveth unto light.” This love, a saving love, is charity, which never faileth. John Greenleaf Whittier wrote, “I’ll lift you, and you lift me, and we’ll both ascend together.” Of course, loving first is fraught with risk. Love shown might not be returned immediately. Sometimes it may seem like it will never come.
Elder Maxwell explained that parents often extend love that is not reciprocated. He quoted Edith Hamilton as saying, ‘”When love meets no return the result is suffering and the greater the love the greater the suffering. There can be no greater suffering than to love purely and perfectly one who is bent upon evil and self-destruction. That was what God endured at the hands of men’ (Spokesman for God, 1936, 112).” Elder Maxwell explained that the pain that we feel provides us an appreciation for the Savior, which appreciation we might not otherwise gain.
Nevertheless, love we must, for only love unfeigned has the power to rescue a wayward soul. If we want to love our wayward children back, we must start by better loving God and our spouse, which increases our capacity to love. Then we are in a position to better love the “unlovable” child. Often, we will need to show love for the child before he shows love to us, and we must persist in that love until love breaks down every barrier between us, melts the child’s heart, embraces him in an unbreakable bond, and finally leads him home. Professor Rex A. Skidmore has said, “Parents need to remember that a youth is never so much in need of understanding as when he is non-approachable and never so much in need of love as when he is unlovable.”
Love Perfected
Being loving to our spouse is not only an expansive principle, it is a perfecting one that draws God near. “If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.” Moreover, by loving acts we are endowed with an added measure of the Holy Ghost: “Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.” As we abide in this cycle of loving and receiving love, our love eventually becomes perfect: “God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect.”
Significantly, the only other person besides God whom a man is commanded to love with all his heart is his wife: “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” Our model is Christ, who frequently refers to Himself as the Bridegroom, and we, being part of His church, are symbolically His bride. In Hosea, He is the forgiving, compassionate, nurturing Husband, and elsewhere He is the Good Shepherd, who gives His life for those whom He loves.
This quality of love is that which yokes us to Him, an important principle considering the fact that He, by covenant, is an important third partner in our marriage; He is as essential to us as we are to each other. Our marriage simply cannot be sanctified, and we cannot grow in the principle of love, without Him. In the case where we are in a struggling marriage where our spouse does not seem willing to work with us in increasing love, or where a spouse does not believe in gospel principles, we still may rely on the amazing power of love-freely given by us-to powerfully affect the relationship and us individually. This is one reason why we do not need to fear one-sided love.
No Fear in Love
Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of loving is ceasing to be afraid: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” If our circumstance is causing us fear, we might consider reexamining the foundation upon which our love is built, “because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” We must regroup by being loving, and love will be returned with increase. As love grows, we will feel our level of fear decrease. This love is the love of God, giving us peace and ameliorating the risks of unreturned mortal love.
Love-The Greatest Power
Love–perfect love–is the greatest power in the universe. Love motivates God to do all that He does. The greatest expression of His love is to give and redeem life. He invites His children to experience His type of life, for therein is His joy made full. By following His example-giving life and redeeming life-our joy is also made full. Therein is the perfection of and hope for our love. Therein are children given and therein are children saved.
Author’s Note
This article was adapted from my book, Rescuing Wayward Children. Follow this link to learn more.)
Also, get a sample of my new 5-book series on Zion: The Three Pillars of Zion. Click here.
Note: Although this article speaks of the power available in the marriage sealing, many principles apply to singles, single parents, those working for eternal union with less-active spouses, and to children who are praying for their wayward parents. Faith and grace allow us to act as if we were in possession of that which we lack. The Lord assures us that when we do all we can do, He will make up the difference.
Moroni 7:47.
H. Wallace Goddard, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, 111.
See Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, “Celestial Marriage,” 117-118.
See “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.“
Boyd K. Packer, “The Candle of the Lord,” Ensign, January 1983.
Edith Hamilton quoted, also Elder Maxwell, in Neal A. Maxwell’s “Enduring Well,” Ensign, April 1997.
Rex A. Skidmore, “What Part Should the Teen-ager Play in the Family?” Improvement Era, January 1952.
To become Zion people, we must make a decision. Once and for all, we must commit to both believe and live what we have received. It is not enough to go through the motions of being a Latter-day Saint. We must thoroughly study and understand the new and everlasting covenant, which is the offspring of the Atonement. Receiving, committing to, studying, and living the Covenant are the vehicles that allow us to become Zion people. In the final analysis, it is what we have become that will determine our eternal possibilities.
If we are to become Zion people, what will be our characteristics?
- Above all, pure in heart.
- Separate from Babylon.
- Of one heartand mind-unified with Godand our fellowmen.
- Equal in opportunity for and access to God’s blessings.
- Stewards, not owners, who are accountable to God.
- Having chosen God over mammon.
- Striving to laborfor Zion and not to amass personal waelth.
- Having completely consecrated ourselves: our time, talents, and all that we have and are for the upbuilding of the kingdomof Godand the establishment of Zion.
“How Long Halt Ye Between Two Opinions?”
If Zion is our aspiration, this description is what we must become. And it all starts with making a commitment. Well did Elijah challenge his contemporaries: “How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him.” As long as our commitment waits, Zion’s blessings remain unclaimed.
In a conference address entitled “Becoming the Pure in Heart,” President Spencer W. Kimball taught that we should keep uppermost in our minds the vision of who we are and what we are about. He said, “For many years we have been taught that one important end result of our labors, hopes, and aspirations in this work is the building of a latter-day Zion, a Zion characterized by love, harmony, and peace-a Zion in which the Lord’s children are as one.” Then he quoted Doctrine and Covenants 48, in which the Lord gives us a glimpse of the latter-day Zion:
Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. . . .
Behold, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you-that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come; and also that you might be honored in laying the foundation, and in bearing record of the land upon which the Zion of God shall stand.
And after that cometh the day of my power; then shall the poor, the lame, and the blind, and the deaf, come in unto the marriage of the Lamb, and partake of the supper of the Lord, prepared for the great day to come. Behold, I, the Lord, have spoken it.
With the gift of seership, President Kimball proclaimed that this scripture will be fulfilled. The day of Zion will surely come, and it is our destiny to cause it to happen. Then he asked if these promises do not inspire us to lengthen our stride and quicken our pace to do our part in this marvelous latter-day work. At that point he mourned that many of us are still mired in Babylon, uncommitted and floundering between two divergent philosophies. He said,
Unfortunately we live in a world that largely rejects the values of Zion. Babylon has not and never will comprehend Zion. . . . Zion can be built up only among those who are the pure in heart, not a people torn by covetousness or greed, but a pure and selfless people. Not a people who are pure in appearance, rather a people who are pure in heart. Zion is to be in the world and not of the world, not dulled by a sense of carnal security, nor paralyzed by materialism. No, Zion is not things of the lower, but of the higher order, things that exalt the mind and sanctify the heart. Zion is “every man seeking the interest of his neighbor, and doing all things with an eye single to the glory of God.” (D&C 82:19.) As I understand these matters, Zion can be established only by those who are pure in heart, and who labor for Zion, for “the laborer in Zion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for money they shall perish.” (2 Nephi 26:31).
Our duty and our opportunity are clear. We need only to commit.
“It Is High Time to Establish Zion”
In an address given to the Saints on May 2, 1842, Joseph Smith rejoiced in the coming day of Zion, which assumes that some individuals within the Church will have prepared themselves to become the pure in heart:
The building up of Zion is a cause that has interested the people of God in every age; it is a theme upon which prophets, priests and kings have dwelt with peculiar delight; they have looked forward with joyful anticipation to the day in which we live; and fired with heavenly and joyful anticipations they have sung and written and prophesied of this our day; but they died without the sight; we are the favored people that God has made choice of to bring about the latter-day glory; it is left for us to see, participate in and help to roll forward the latter-day glory…. [the establishment of Zion is] a work that God and angels have contemplated with delight for generations past; that fired the souls of the ancient patriarchs and prophets; a work that is destined to bring about the destruction of the powers of darkness, the renovation of the earth, the glory of God, and the salvation of the human family.
To establish Zion, whether in the heart of an individual, a marriage, a family, or in a priesthood community of Saints, President Lorenzo Snow admonished us to cease the destructive practice of competition and the selfish building up of our own kingdoms. We must resolve now, he said, to center our efforts on the building of God’s kingdom for the establishment of Zion:
It is high time to establish Zion. Let us try to build up Zion. Zion is the pure in heart. Zion cannot be built up except on the principles of union required by the celestial law. It is high time for us to enter into these things. It is more pleasant and agreeable for the Latter-day Saints to enter into this work and build up Zion, than to build up ourselves and have this great competition which is destroying us.
Again, calling for us to prepare for the establishment of Zion today and simultaneously denouncing the competitive practices that prohibit Zion, President Snow said,
What a lovely thing it would be if there was a Zion now, as in the days of Enoch, that there would be peace in our midst and no necessity for a man to contend and tread upon the toes of another to attain a better position, and advance himself ahead of his neighbor! And there should be no unjust competition in matters that belong to the Latter-day Saints. That which creates division among us pertaining to our temporal interests should not be.
Let us state here that Zion, meaning the ideal of Zion, is the perfection of sanctification. That is our aim and the reason that we submit to the transforming process of being sanctified by the Holy Ghost. If Zion is the pure in heart, then we must become pure-that is to say, unalloyed, unmixed, uncontaminated, uncorrupted, unsullied-if we truly desire to qualify for the ultimate blessings of Zion. President Snow ended with this definitive statement: “So long as unrighteous acts are suffered in the Church, it cannot be sanctified, neither can Zion be redeemed.” Our call to become Zion people is a call to act now and begin to embrace the principles of Zion, “or else,” the Lord warns, our “faith is vain.”
An editorial written by Bishop Newel K. Whitney and his counselors in the Messenger and Advocate sums up the urgency to become Zion people now:
Whatever is glorious. Whatever is desirable-Whatever pertains to salvation, either temporal or spiritual. Our hopes, our expectations, our glory and our reward, all depend on our building up Zion according to the testimony of the prophets. For unless Zion is built: our hopes perish, our expectations fail, our prospects are blasted, our salvation withers, and God will come and smite the whole earth with a curse.
Clearly, it is high time to establish Zion!
A Few Could Form the Foundation of Zion
If we accept the Book of Mormon to be our latter-day guide, we also accept the account in Third Nephi to be our model for the latter-day establishment of Zion. In surveying that account, we are immediately struck by the fact that even a few pure-in-heart people could anchor the principles of Zion to the earth.
Mormon makes the point that only 2,500 Nephites made up the initial group of Zion people. According to the Third Nephi model, the small group of the pure-in-heart people act as leaven by setting an example and encouraging others to become pure in heart and join with them under the organizational leadership of thepriesthood. We note with interest that within a few years, the entire Nephite population had become pure in heart and was assimilated into Zion.
Are we willing to be counted among the few who have the courage to embrace the principles of Zion in our lives? Hugh Nibley quoted Brigham, who issued the following warning: “If we are not faithful, others will take our place.” Zion is our opportunity, but we can lose it through apathy or carelessness. President Young said that though individuals might fail, nevertheless the Church will succeed:
“We may fail, if we are not faithful; but God will not fail in accomplishing his work, whether we abide it or not.” Obviously, our individual inaction will have little impact on the Lord’s global plans for Zion. His purposes will roll forth, and the prophecies and promises concerning Zion will all be fulfilled: “If we do not wake up and cease to long after the things of this earth, we will find that we as individuals will go down to hell, although the Lord will preserve a people unto himself.
Then President Young asked, “Shall we do this in our present condition as a people? No; for we must be pure and holy.” Continuing, he said, “If my brethren and sisters do not walk up to the principles of the holy Gospel . . . they will be removed out of their places, and others will be called to occupy them.” To the uncommitted, he stated that the unifying principles of Zion can be divisive and troublesome: “Of the great many who have been baptized into this Church, but few have been able to abide the word of the Lord; they have fallen out on the right and on the left . . . and a few have gathered together.”
Joseph Smith also lamented about the Saints’ lack of commitment to the cause of Zion: “I have tried for a number of years to get the minds of the Saints prepared to receive the things of God; but we frequently see some of them, after suffering all they have for the work of God, will fly to pieces like glass as soon as anything comes that is contrary to their traditions: they cannot stand the fire at all. How many will be able to abide a celestial law, and go through and receive their exaltation, I am unable to say, as many are called, but few are chosen.”
The first latter-day opportunity to build up Zion evaporated with the contentions and jealousies of the early Saints. That will not happen again. Most certainly, the Lord, through his prophet, will call a “select” few, “who are worthy to be called” to form the foundation of latter-day Zion, and when that happens, Babylon’s fate is sealed. Elder McConkie wrote:
“There has been a day of calling,” a day in which all the elders of the kingdom were invited to come forward and build the New Jerusalem, “but the time has come for a day of choosing.” The response of his early Latter-day Saints having been inadequate, the Lord will now choose, when he will, those who are to accomplish the great work. “And let those be chosen that are worthy.” When the day comes, none but those who qualify by obedience and righteousness will participate in the work. “And it shall be manifest unto my servant”–the President of the Church who then governs the kingdom–”by the voice of the Spirit, those that are chosen; and they shall be sanctified; and inasmuch as they follow the counsel which they receive, they shall have power after many days to accomplish all things pertaining to Zion.” (D&C 105:14-37.) After many days, a designated period in which we still live, those who are called, chosen, selected, appointed, and sent forth by the voice of the Spirit, as it speaks to the President of the Church, shall build the New Jerusalem and the holy temple to which the Lord Jesus Christ shall come in power and glory as the great Millennium is ushered in. In the meantime, our work as a people is to keep the commandments and sanctify ourselves so that if the call comes in our day, we shall be worthy to respond.
If we are waiting to become Zion people when we hear the announcement of the priesthood society of Zion, we will be sorely disappointed. Zion, the location, does not make Zion, the people. Zion is a condition of the heart. Hence, we no more wait for an announcement to become Zionlike than we wait for an announcement to live the law of consecration. When it comes to living the laws and principles of Zion in our individual lives, nothing waits. We have covenanted and we are expected to strive to become Zion people today.
Our preparation for “the upbuilding of an ‘holy city’ which shall be called Zion” is plainly an individual effort that centers on our attempts to purify our hearts. Joseph Smith said, “All who build thereon [the foundation of Zion] are to worship the true and living God, and all believe in one doctrine, even the doctrine of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
To this end, President Lorenzo Snow counseled, “Then let us practice honesty and diligence in our various callings, seeking unity and to cultivate the spirit of brotherhood financially as well as spiritually, that we may be in readiness, upon call, to go forth and build up the center stake of Zion and prepare a house in which to meet the Lord our Savior and Redeemer.” Until the prophetic call to Zion comes, said Joseph Smith, “the Lord wants the wheat and tares to grow together; for Zion must be redeemed with judgment, and her converts with righteousness.”
What, then, must we be about? The Prophet Joseph Smith answered, “We ought to have the building up of Zion as our greatest object.” Repeatedly the Lord has commanded us to “seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion.” Therefore, we are to “arise and shine forth, that [our] light may be a standard for the nations.” Our safety and the safety of other good-hearted people are at stake. Only in Zion will there be temporal and spiritual protection: “And that the gathering together upon the land of Zion, and upon her stakes, may be for a defense, and for a refuge from the storm, and from wrath when it shall be poured out without mixture upon the whole earth.” Our unique latter-day calling is to prepare the earth for the coming of Christ, the great Millennium, and the vanquishing of Satan.
How shall we begin to become individual Zion persons? President Kimball offered three steps: “First, we must eliminate the individual tendency to selfishness that snares the soul, shrinks the heart, and darkens the mind. . . . Second, we must cooperate completely and work in harmony one with the other…. Third, we must lay on the altar and sacrifice whatever is required by the Lord.” The result of living these steps, he said, is charity.
Everything about Zion comes down to love. If we are filled with charity, we will be selfless, cooperative, and willing to sacrifice all that we have and are; we truly will be Zion people. It is interesting to note that Enoch established a city called Zion after his people had been denominated Zion by the Lord. The society of Zion is comprised of people who have first qualified as Zion in their hearts. Most assuredly, then, it is high time to establish Zion.
Author’s Note
Click here to view a new video presentation called, “The Pure in Heart.”
This article was adapted from my new book, The Three Pillars of Zion. Click here to receive a free sample.
Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, 181.
Oaks, “The Challenge to Become,” 32-34.
Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 362-63.
Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 231.
Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, 181.
Smith, History of the Church, 2:146.
Whitney, Cahoon, and Knight, Messenger and Advocate 3 (Sept. 1837): 563.
3 Nephi 17:25; 19:1-5; 4 Nephi 1:2.
Nibley, “Educating the Saints-a Brigham Young Mosaic,” 85; quoting Young, Journal of Discourses, 8:144, 183; 18:304; 8:144; 16:26; 11:324; Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 331.
McConkie, A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, 619.
Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 79.
Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, 185.
Smith, History of the Church, 2:228.
Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 160.
Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 364.
Charity Defines Discipleship
Charity transforms a natural man into a sanctified Saint-a Zion person-someone who by nature seeks to comfort the downtrodden, redeem the oppressed, heal the sick and the afflicted, and console the brokenhearted.
If charity is the defining characteristic of Jesus Christ, it is also the defining characteristic of his people. When they, like their Master, encounter need, they confront it. They will not allow lack and suffering to exist in their presence. They are willing to consecrate all that they are and have to blessing the sufferings and underprivileged. For this reason, consecration, the foundational law of Zion, has no need to be legislated; consecration, like charity, is a condition of the heart.
Keeping and Feeding-the Two Tests of Charity
Jesus gave us two tests of charity:
Clearly, charity–Christlike love, Zion love–is defined by action. For example, in a marriage a declaration of love is meaningless unless it is demonstrated by keeping one’s vows and proffering service to one’s companion: keeping and feeding. The spouse who professes love but is disloyal is a liar; the spouse who proclaims love but who is selfish and non-sacrificing is a hypocrite.
Conversely, charity keeps its vows and goes out to find and nourish others. Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught that the keeping element of charity centers on keeping the first and great commandment, the royal law, which is a foundational law of Zion: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy heart, and with all thy mind….Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”
Keeping and feeding are to stand proxy for the Lord and do as he would do if he were present. Therefore, to the extent that we keep the Lord’s commandments, we show our love for him; and to the proportion that we feed the Lord’s sheep, we keep the first and great commandment. This is Zion!
Charity–The Life Blood of Zion
Most certainly, charity is love in action, and that action always involves sacrifice. Without the action of charitable sacrifice, Zion could not be established in the life of an individual, a marriage, a family, or in a priesthood society. It is by consecrated sacrifice that we keep the commandments and hold true to our covenants. It is by sacrifice that we feed the Lord’s sheep. It is by sacrifice that we love God. Helping, giving, and loving always require selfless sacrifice. It is sacrifice, we sing, that “brings forth the blessings of heaven.”
Charitable service creates a positive imbalance that demands correcting. This is the hundredfold law, which President Thomas S. Monson described this way: “It is an immutable law that the more you give away, the more you receive.” Then, referencing a quote attributed to Winston Churchill, he said, “‘You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give.’” The Lord always rewards us with more than we sacrifice.
This “immutable law”-the hundredfold law-drives Zion’s cycle of abundance and makes Zion people exceedingly prosperous. Of course, this law runs contrary to Babylon’s practices of grabbing, competing and hoarding. The hundredfold law, which flows from the law of consecration, stipulates that if we will give what we have and are, the Lord will reward us beyond our sacrifice: “an hundredfold.”
As long as we do not stop the cycle abundance by keeping what we receive, we will become vessels of help. Through us the Lord will pour down blessings to his needy children, and in the process our prosperity will increase until it approaches the infinite abundance of the kingdom of heaven. Thus, charity is the lifeblood of Zion, and consecrated sacrifice is the that propels Zion’s prosperity.
When charity, the love exemplified by Zion people, is planted in the hearts of a few, it acts as leaven “until the whole [of humanity is] leavened.” Others love because we love them, and soon Zion is anchored on the earth by love. Joseph Smith said, “A man filled with the love of God is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.”
Charity Is Defined by Service
President Hinckley called love ”the lodestar of life.” Citing the Savior’s reference to the Final Judgment, President Hinckley reminded us that Jesus will say to those on his right hand that they shall inherit his kingdom because they effectively “fed, clothed, and visited Him” by blessing his children.
President Hinckley wrote: “One of the greatest challenges we face in our hurried, self-centered lives is to follow this counsel of the Master, to take the time and make the effort to care for others, to develop and exercise the one quality that would enable us to change the lives of others-what the scriptures call charity. . . . Best defined, charity is that pure love exemplified by Jesus Christ. It embraces kindness, a reaching out to lift and help, the sharing of one’s bread, if need be.”
Zion people become angels to the poor and afflicted. We are taught that there are “angels round about [us], to bear [us] up.” As much as angels are instruments in the Lord’s hands to sustain and help us to carry our heavy burdens, so we, by our charitable service, become angels to God’s children and instruments in the Lord’s hands to steady the weak and to heft their weighty load. President Kimball said, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom.”
It is a gospel verity that charity saves the lives of both the giver and the receiver. Charity is sometimes a handout, but it is always a hand up. comes to our souls when we lift another and give of ourselves and our means for the purest and highest of motivations–love.
President Joseph F. Smith said, “I would advise that we learn to love each other, and then friendship will be true and sweet. It has been said by one, that ‘we may give without loving, but we cannot love without giving.’” We note with interest that it was only when the people of Limhi repented, unified, and began to practice a form of consecration to care for the widows and orphans that deliverance from bondage came.
Cain first stated the motto of Babylon in the form of a question: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” That self-centered statement became the foundation of the Anti-Christ doctrine that was advanced by others including Korihor. The entire anti-Christ philosophy is also anti-Zion. It is faithless, immoral, destructive, and selfish. In no way does it draw us to Christ, encourage us to depend on him, shelter us from the consequences of sin, provide for the poor, or make us our brother’s keeper.
To Cain’s selfish motto–”Am I my brother’s keeper?”–The Lord countered with the doctrine of Zion that carries promises: “Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble. The Lord will preserve him, and keep him alive; and he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. The Lord will strengthen him.”
Charity is the mantra of Zion. President Heber J. Grant said, “Make a motto in life: always try and assist someone else to carry his burden.” Charity is also the source of safety for Zion people. The prophet of Ecclesiastes stated that when we plant seeds of service to bless God’s children, we save our own souls. When evil attempts to overwhelm us, when terrifying storms gather above us, when temptations fell trees all about us, charity will protect us-”there [our safety] shall be.” The prophet said we do not understand how God transforms our charitable acts into cloaks of safety; we only know that it happens. Therefore, we are to go about liberally planting the seeds of charitable service: “In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand.” We do not know which seeds of charity will take root and how they will prosper. We only know that by sowing and nourishing charitable acts, many people are blessed by our actions, and in the process we will be kept safe. This is the safe and secure state of Zion people.
Charitable Service Prospers the Giver
The promise of charitable service is that of an abundant return. President Marion G. Romney taught the following truth: “You cannot give yourself poor in this work; you can only give yourself rich.” His statement is a confirmation of the ancient prophet’s teaching: “Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.”
This suggests both a boomerang effect and a germination period. Bread that is cast upon the water will most certainly float back to land on the tide or a current; that is, our charitable actions will always return to bless us. Moreover, the seed that makes the bread that is cast upon the water will eventually find land, set down roots, sprout, and grow; that is, charitable acts carry the potential of life within them; charitable acts might take time to find ground and take root, but in time, those acts will become a beautiful and fruitful tree. We cannot be impoverished by casting the seeds of our charity upon the water. We cannot consecrate ourselves poor.
Abundance flows to Zion people as they manifest charity. They grow from grace to grace by giving grace for grace. It is also upon the principle of charitable service that Zion people progress toward perfection. Therefore, by receiving grace (the Lord’s help) for grace (our service), we grow from grace (light, truth, power, and perfection) to grace (more light, truth, power, and perfection).
According to John the Baptist’s testimony, Jesus grew in grace (light, truth, power, and perfection) by giving grace (service): “And I, John, saw that he received not of the fulness at the first, but received grace for grace. And he received not of the fulness at first, but continued from grace to grace, until he received a fulness.” Likewise, we progress incrementally from grace to grace to a fulness of glory by keeping the commandments and giving service, whereupon the Lord blesses us by granting us grace for our having given grace to another: “For if you keep my commandments you shall receive of his fulness, and be glorified in me as I am in the Father; therefore, I say unto you, you shall receive grace for grace.”
Again we see the hundredfold principle in giving charitable acts. When we receive the seed of grace from God or from a charitable person, we should plant rather than hoard that seed of charity by giving charity to another person. The replanting of the seed will urge a stalk to grow, which contains many seeds. Then if we will plant again, we will realize a marvelous harvest. Thus, ever repeating the cycle of planting and harvesting constitutes the mystery of Zion’s prosperity. It is the Zion principle of giving then receiving in return with increase.
Therefore, should we be concerned about keeping the commandment to consecrate and extend charitable service? Do we really believe that we will end up with less? President Kimball refuted the idea and challenged our faith:
What are we to fear when the Lord is with us? Can we not take the Lord at his word and exercise a particle of faith in him? Our assignment is affirmative: to forsake the things of the world as ends in themselves; to leave off idolatry and press forward in faith; to carry the gospel to our enemies, that they might no longer be our enemies. We must leave off the worship of modern-day idols and a reliance on the ‘arm of flesh,’ for the Lord has said to all the world in our day, ‘I will not spare any that remain in Babylon.’
Clearly, our ultimate safety and security are only found in extending charity and consecrating our lives, property, time, and talents for the building up of God’s kingdom and for the establishment of Zion.
Charity Is an Absolute
Few scriptural absolutes are as stunning as those describing charity:
- “If ye have not charity, ye are nothing.”
- “Charity never faileth.”
- “Charity . . . is the greatest of all.”
- “Charity . . . endureth forever.
In a world where everything fails, only those things that are built upon the foundation of charity will not fail. When we seek charity first, as exemplified by our seeking the kingdom of God and his righteousness first, we are promised that all else will fall into place and be added unto us. Because of charity, the blessings of the priesthood will flow to us forever without compulsory means.
Charity Is a Gift–the Greatest Gift
Despite our best efforts, we never will obtain charity or know its power in our lives unless the Holy Ghost delivers it to us. Charity is a spiritual gift that must be sought. Like the principle that states that we are saved by grace only after all we can do, we receive charity as a gift only after we do all we can to obtain it. Therefore, because salvation is impossible without charity and because charity is delivered to us as a gift of the Spirit, Mormon pleads with us to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.”
When charity finally enters our souls, Mormon continues, this love becomes the vehicle to make of us “sons of God.” Charity has the power to make us “like him.” Ultimately, upon the principle of charity, we will become “as he is” – Zion! This is our “hope; that we [through our charity] may be purified even as he is pure.” This is the principal aim and the ultimate destination of the royal law, the celestial law of love upon which a Zion life is built.
Charity is the quality of love that propels Zion’s foundational law of consecration and fulfills the first and second commandments: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” We consecrate because we love, and when love motivates all we do, we become Zion.
Author’s Note
This article was adapted from The Three Pillars of Zion. You may receive a free sample at www.PillarsOfZion.com.
Moroni 7:46-47.
Paraphrased from John 21:16; emphasis added.
Ashton, “Love Takes Time,” 108.
Phelps, “Praise to the Man,” Hymns, no. 27.
Genesis 26:12; 2 Samuel 24:3; Matthew 13:8-23; 19:29; Mark 10:30; Luke 8:8; D&C 98:25; 132:55.
Monson, “In Quest of the Abundant Life,” 2.
Smith, History of the Church, 4:227.
Hinckley, Standing for Something, 6.
Tanner, “All Things Shall Work Together for Your Good,” 104.
Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 252.
Smith, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, 192.
Grant, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant, 139.
Romney, “Welfare Services: The Savior’s Program,” 92.
Packer, “The Candle of the Lord,” 54-55.
Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 417; quoting D&C 64:24.
NOTE: This article is the last of four articles adapted from Chapter 8 of The Three Pillars of Zion. You can download a free Sampler of this new Zion series at www.PillarsOfZion.com.)
In Parts 1-3 of this four-part series, we learned how the Jewish marriage symbolizes the New and Everlasting Covenant, the first pillar of Zion. Something extraordinary begins to happen when we see the scriptures through the lens of the marriage covenant. Suddenly, we understand that the New and Everlasting Covenant is much more than a system of covenants, ordinances, and commandments; the Covenant describes an intimate, loving and fruitful relationship. This is the covenantal relationship that is offered to us by the Bridegroom, who invites us to take his name upon us and to share his life.
Perhaps to better teach us that our covenantal relationship with him is very much like a marriage, the Lord describes the New and Everlasting Covenant in tender and caring language that is charged with symbolism and importance. Founded on the New and Everlasting Covenant, Zion is established, and the vocabulary that illustrates this first pillar of Zion is at once beautiful and endearing.
Review
In Part 1 of this series, we learned that the Jewish marriage describes the beauty and loving nature of the New and Everlasting Covenant. In Part 2 of this series, we examined the betrothal ceremony. In Part 3, we examined the events that occur during the waiting period-the time between the betrothal and the wedding.
- After the betrothal ceremony, the bridegroom’s father made the first of two announcements of the marriage of his son. The first announcement, or calling, was proffered to close friends, family, and others who were invited to the wedding. We are likewise called to the wedding of the Son. Sadly, we also understand that of the many who are called, few will actually be chosen to attend.
- Once the bride was betrothed, she wore a veil in public to show that she had entered into the marriage covenant. The bride wore the veil as an indication that she belonged only to her husband and that no one else had the right to appreciate her beauty except him. This custom is reminiscent of present-day temple worship. Once we have accepted the Lord in the Covenant, we, like the Jewish bride, are considered set apart, consecrated and holy.
- The friend of the bridegroom was a witness of the couple’s covenant. During the betrothal period, the friend conveyed messages between the bride and groom, and he helped the bride prepare for the coming of her husband. Just so, the Holy Ghost, witnesses our covenant-making process. While we wait and prepare for the Lord, he conveys messages between the Bridegroom and us (the bride). Additionally, he prepares us for the coming of the Bridegroom. He encourages us to remain faithful, and ultimately, when we are finally brought together, he bears testimony of our having remained worthy.
- During the long betrothal period, both the bride and the bridegroom were to prepare for each other. She would make herself beautiful and learn essential skills for her new life. He would prepare a place for his beloved in the mansions of his father. Because the bride did not know the day or hour that her bridegroom would come for her, she had to live her life in constant anticipation and readiness. To endure the wait, the bride retained reminders of his promise to return-”I go away and come again unto you.” These reminders, which she held close to her heart, were the bride price, the marriage contract, and the token. She also had his pledge, which was reminiscent of the Lord’s words to us: “Let not your hearts be troubled; for in my Father’s house are many mansions, and I have prepared a place for you; and where my Father and I am, there ye shall be also.” And at another time, “I go to prepare a place for you.”
In this final article, we will examine the events leading up to the actual wedding. These events begin with the father’s giving his son permission to go and claim his bride. At that point, the father issued his second and final call to the wedding. Then the wedding processional began. The bridegroom came as a thief in the night and whisked away his beloved and conveyed her as a queen to the place that he had prepared for her. Then the wedding took place; the bridegroom and his bride were finally together, never again to be parted.
Invitation to the Wedding
When the bridegroom completed the “little mansion or bridal chamber” for his bride, and when the groom’s father finally declared that the construction and preparations met with his approval, the father finally gave his son permission to go and claim his bride. Immediately, the bridegroom began to organize a wedding procession by calling and gathering his close associates. In this we remember the reference to the Lord’s coming with “all the holy angels with him.”
While the bridegroom was thus engaged, the father sent his servants to make the second announcement or in other words “for the last time.” We recall that the first announcement or calling happened at the time of betrothal. At that time, the invited guests covenanted to come to the wedding whenever the father announced that the wedding, feast and festivities are about to commence. We must keep in mind that the chosen ones had promised that they would remain in readiness and attend the marriage of the son. To reject the invitation now would be nothing short of a monumental insult and a serious offense. Jesus spoke about the second announcement and the seriousness of following through on our initial covenant:
A certain man made a great supper, and bade many:
And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.
And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused.
And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee have me excused.
And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.
So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind.
And the servant said, Lord, it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room.
And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.
For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.
Notice that the chosen guests who did not attend the wedding used as excuses property, possessions and family concerns. It is sad but true that many of the chosen ones will step aside from their covenant: “Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen? Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men.”
For an invited guest to place anything above his commitment to attend the wedding or for an invited guest to be unprepared, as were five of the ten virgins, are insults that will summon the Father’s indignation. To not respond to the Bridegroom’s advent will most certainly result in such individuals’ being shut out from the wedding and the Bridegroom’s denying knowing them.
The Wedding Processional
The bridegroom led a procession to the bride’s home to claim her. He was decked out in regal attire, often wearing a crown, dressed in garments “scented with frankincense and myrrh,” and appearing in every way like a king. This joyous occasion was one of “singing, dancing and merriment.” Now the bridegroom’s long-awaited purpose and the object of his sacrifice were about to be rewarded. The clamorous late-night procession wound through the streets with their torches beaming and their trumpets blaring, awakening everyone along the way. The scriptures inform us that “the Son of Man shall come, and he shall send his angels before him with the great sound of a trumpet.” Those in the procession beckoned others to join them: “…and they shall gather together the remainder of his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.”
When the procession neared the bride’s home, “a messenger was sent ahead to give the shout, ‘The bridegroom cometh!’” At that point, the bride had about half an hour “to make final preparations” before the shout was given again and the bridegroom claimed her. “And he [the angelic messenger] shall sound his trump both long and loud, and all nations shall hear it. And there shall be silence in heaven for the space of half an hour; and immediately after shall the curtain of heaven be unfolded, as a scroll is unfolded after it is rolled up, and the face of the Lord shall be unveiled.”
Claiming the Bride
The Jewish marriage is filled with the imagery of the New and Everlasting Covenant. When we entered into the Covenant with the Bridegroom through baptism, we recognized the fact that he had paid a price for us. In the covenantal agreement, he promised to provide for us, redeem us, and to live with us in a loving relationship. Then he presented us with tokens (his wounds) representing his love and devotion. He did all of this in the presence of witnesses. He vowed to prepare a place for us in the mansions of his father, and he promised to one day return for us: “I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” When at last he would finally come for us, we together would make the marriage complete and he would seal us his. This is an interesting phrase, given our understanding of the temple. Conversely, if we neglect or reject our covenant with the Lord, “the devil doth seal [us] his.”
The hour had finally come for the loyal and long-suffering bride. Having made all preparations, having waited faithfully and patiently for the bridegroom’s return, having heard the trumpet and the shout, having gathered all together during the last half hour, and having heard the final shout, the bride now gave herself willingly to the bridegroom as he burst through the door of her home to claim her. By this action, the bridegroom suddenly elevated his bride to the stature of a queen.
The New and Everlasting Covenant provides for such regal unity: “[The Bridegroom] hast made us unto our God kings and priests [and queens and priestesses]: and we shall reign on the earth.” Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote:
This unity among all the saints and between them and the Father and the Son, is reserved for those who gain exaltation and inherit the fulness of the Father’s kingdom. Those who attain it will all know the same things; think the same thoughts; exercise the same powers; do the same acts; respond in the same way to the same circumstances; beget the same kind of offspring; rejoice in the same continuation of the seeds forever; create the same type of worlds; enjoy the same eternal fulness; and glory in the same exaltation.
Immediately, the bride was lifted up into a special chair-a throne-”and carried to her new home. The four strong men,” who conveyed the bride, were “given the honorary title, Giborei Yisrael, or heroes of Israel.” In this regal setting, the bride appeared stunningly beautiful without spot or blemish. Moreover, she was beautiful within, having prepared during and faithfully endured the wait. Similarly, the apostle John saw latter-day Zion “prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” The psalmist wrote, “The king’s daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold. She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee. With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: they shall enter into the king’s palace.”
Now the bridegroom brought her to the place he had prepared for her. Donna Nielsen explained:
The most important period of the marriage festivities was when the bride entered her new home. The bride and groom were sometimes crowned with real crowns or with garlands or roses, myrtle, or olive leaves…. The couple was treated like royalty during this time. The new husband was literally considered a king and priest in his own home, with his wife as queen.
How glorious is the Covenant that exalts us and makes us equal with the King of Heaven!
The Wedding
A number of symbolic events occurred when the guests entered into the father’s home. These events hearken to blessings that attend the New and Everlasting Covenant. For example, each guest had his feet and hands washed, then he was anointed, embraced and kissed. These gestures were evidences of reconciliation; no hard feelings would be allowed in the father’s house on such a joyous occasion. We might expect to be thus treated when we regain the Father presence.
“Another Jewish custom was to wear a ‘wedding garment.’” These garments were supplied to the guests by the bridegroom’s father. They were white, “a color associated with royalty.” Moreover, the white garments represented light. If someone were found not wearing a garment, such as the guest mentioned in Matthew 22:11, he would be cast out. His action would be interpreted as disdain for the father’s generosity.
While the guests were dressing, greeting and conversing, the bridegroom and the bride dressed in their white wedding clothing, which was symbolic of “purity, forgiveness of sins, and solemn joy.” Isaiah exulted, “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”
At this point, the bride would be anointed with sweet olive oil. We remember that this sanctifying act signified her joy and her willingness to transform her life from a single woman to a queen to her husband. This change of status was shared by both the bride and the bridegroom. “Each groom at the time of his wedding and later in his own home was to be considered as a king and a priest.” The act of clothing the couple in royal wedding robes signified among other things that they were now consecrated to become fruitful and bear children. Similarly, the Covenant clothes us “with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” Our purpose changes from profane to holy, and joined with the Lord we become fruitful.
Now the time of the wedding was at hand. The place of making the covenant was under a canopy, a square piece of cloth held up by four poles. The canopy was open on all sides, reminiscent of the hospitality Abraham and Sarah showed guests in their open tent. The canopy was usually positioned outside so as to be under the stars. Symbolically and among other things, it represented “God’s sheltering love” and also the covenant that God made with Abraham, promising that his children would be as numerous as the stars of the heavens. Likewise, when we marry in the temple, we are sealed together in the presence of the luminaries of heaven and blessed with all the blessings of Abraham, including “a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.”
After the bridegroom had been escorted to the canopy by his parents, the bride was brought to the canopy by hers. At that point, the “officiator faced the couple and read the Psalm of Thanksgiving (Psalm 100). A goblet of wine was raised, and a blessing was said over the wine. This was called the ‘Cup of Joy.’ Both the bride and the bridegroom drank from the same cup, indicating they would share the joys of life together.” Likewise, we are yoked to Jesus in the New and Everlasting Covenant. Our Bridegroom covenants to share with us all the joys and sorrows of life; by covenant, we will never be left alone.
Then the bridegroom places a ring, which represents eternity, on the bride’s right index finger. It was the right hand that was used for making covenants. At that point, the bridegroom “lifted the bride’s veil and placed the corner of it on his shoulder. This was a proclamation to everyone present that the government of his bride now rested on his shoulder,” an image that Isaiah used to describe the Savior’s relationship to us. Then the marriage contract was read aloud for all to witness, which reading was followed by the officiator’s reciting blessings. Similarly, the Lord pronounces blessings upon those whom he seals together:
And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them–Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection…and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths…and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.
Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them.
Next, the officiator offers a second cup of wine to the couple. “This cup was called the ‘Cup of Sacrifice’ and the ‘Cup of Salvation.’ They would have to share sacrifices in life, but eventually those sacrifices would be a source of salvation for both of them.” Again, in the Covenant, the Bridegroom vows to walk the path of life by our side. Against all odds, he is determined to drink of the Cup of Sacrifice for our salvation: “…the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?” Our life together is one of mutual sacrifice that most assuredly will lead to mutual salvation. In the Covenant, we counsel and make decisions together; we love together; we hurt together. What he wants, we want. We share in our hopes, desires and dreams, and we also share in our sorrows. We are one.
Drinking from the Cup of Sacrifice or the Cup of Salvation is vividly described in the Savior’s own words: “For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit–and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink–Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.”
The Bridegroom’s Plea
No doctrine is more glorious than the New and Everlasting Covenant. Significantly, the Bridegroom initiates the invitation to join with him in a covenantal relationship that is as holy, loving, intimate, fruitful, trusting and enduring as an eternal marriage. Equally significant is the fact that in inviting us to enter into a covenant relationship, the Lord essentially pleads with us that we will have mercy on him that we might agree to join with him. Hosea 6:6 states, “For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice….” This is an interesting twist considering the fact that we are ever pleading for his mercy.
We begin to understand this gospel irony when we note that the Hebrew word for mercy is hesed, which “refers to the deep spiritual and emotional bond that exists between two very close people such as husband and wife. Immediately, one perceives that God wants us to be as emotionally and spiritually close to him in thought and action as a devoted husband and wife would be…. It is a humbling moment when we realize that such a powerful, loving, and kind God wants this type of a relationship. Such knowledge inspires one to ‘grow up’ spiritually and to think more about the impact his life has on God.”
That the Lord would literally beg us to enter into a covenantal relationship with him evokes tender images. At the end of his earthly ministry, we recall that Jesus lamented over proud Jerusalem, the bride whom he had courted for so long, the bride whom he would have gathered to him so many times in protective and loving care, and yet she would not give him her love. That image evokes the vision of a prospective groom, who has loved a woman for a very long time, and finally has managed to gather enough to pay a substantial bride price by sacrificing his all. Now he hands her a document written on fine parchment which contains his covenantal promises: He will provide for her, redeem her, love her and give her his name. Then he offers her a token or a gift of value, a representation of his promises, and in the presence of witnesses he recites a pledge to irrevocably bind and consecrate himself to her forever. Now he places a cup of wine before her…and waits. Will she drink of the cup or will she refuse him?
How we respond to the Bridegroom’s invitation will determine our eternal future. A great and divisive decision lies before us. Those who neglect or reject the Lord’s proposal to enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant will find themselves on his left hand, symbolically the hand of disdain to the Jewish mind. Conversely, those who accept the Lord’s proposal and thereafter live faithfully in the Covenant will find themselves on his right hand, the hand of covenant making, the hand on which the bride accepts her husband’s ring.
Jesus commented on this reality in words of stark imagery: “When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth [his] sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world…. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”
May we respond to the Lord’s plea and accept his invitation to join him in the New and Everlasting Covenant. Then may we, like the bride, stand forever on the Bridegroom’s right hand and there exult as did Jeremiah, “This is the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.”
Publisher’s Note
The Three Pillars of Zion is an extensive 5-volume set of books that explores the covenants, attributes and characteristics that define a Zion person. This Zion series is heavily documented with over 3,800 references, making it one of the most extensive research projects ever written about Zion. New York Times best-selling author, Ron McMillan, says, “Larry Barkdull has written one of the most definitive works on the subject of Zion.” This ground-breaking series contains one of the most critical messages for our day. We invite you to learn more and receive a complimentary copy of the Pillars of Zion Sampler at www.PillarsOfZion.com.
See D&C 121:40; Matthew 22:14
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.33
See Jacob 5:62-64; D&C 24:19; 39:17; 43:28; 88:84; 95:4; 112:30
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.40
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.41
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.42
Bruce R. McConkie, “Unity,” Mormon Doctrine, p.814
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.43
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.44
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.51-54
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.52, 54-55
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.55-56
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.57-60
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. iv
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.57
(NOTE: This article is the second part of four articles adapted from Chapter 8 of The Three Pillars of Zion. You can download a free Sampler of this new Zion series at www.PillarsOfZion.com.)
The Jewish marriage parallels the New and Everlasting Covenant with astonishing similarity. Because the New and Everlasting Covenant is the first “pillar of Zion,” and because it is upon this foundational Covenant that a Zion life or a Zion marriage are established, we would be well served to become familiar with these ancient customs.
Review
In Part 1 of this series, we learned that the Jewish marriage describes the beauty and loving nature of the New and Everlasting Covenant.
- Marriage was considered the primary and most glorious purpose of life. Just so, the New and Everlasting Covenant provides the glorious end-purpose of our lives.
- Jewish children were “born to marry” just as we are born to enter into the Covenant.
- Parents shouldered the responsibility to help choose their child’s mate, although the child retained the freedom of choice. Likewise, parents have the obligation to introduce their children into the New and Everlasting Covenant, but the children do so by choice.
- To legalize the marriage covenant, the bridegroom had to 1) pay a bride price, 2) offer his bride a marriage contract, and 3) the couple had to consummate the marriage, meaning to know each other. Similarly, in the New and Everlasting Covenant, we (the bride) are:
- The bridegroom initiated the offer of marriage to the bride. Just so, the Savior extends his hand to us and lovingly invites us to join with him in the New and Everlasting Covenant.
In this second segment of the four-part series, we will examine some of the rites associated with the Jewish betrothal that initiated the marriage and preceded the wedding.
Bought with a Price
When the marriage delegation, which included the groom, his father, friend(s) and witness(es), arrived at the bride’s home, the proposal ceremony began. First, the young man paid the girl’s father a “bride price.” There are several important symbolic parallels to our covenant with the Savior that are portrayed in the price that the bridegroom paid for the bride.
It meant a pledge of money given by the man to seal his offer to marry. This was not like buying a slave but was perceived as compensating the father for the great loss of his daughter and her contribution to the household. It recognized the care and diligence required to raise her to be a suitable wife. In addition, it also sealed a bond of alliance between the two families.
This relationship of ownership is described in the word segulah, “which means ‘peculiar treasure’ or ‘treasured relationship’…. Truly, the worth of a bride was great in the eyes of her husband.”
Importantly, the bride price “signified the transfer of authority from father to husband.” That is, when the bride gave her consent and entered into the marriage covenant, she agreed to fully belong to her husband, not as if she were a slave or property, but exclusive as would be a beloved eternal companion. She was “bought with a price.” Now she was expected to shift her loyalty from her father to her husband and follow him in righteousness. Likewise, when we enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant with the Savior, we leave behind all other loyalties and affections and shift our devotion exclusively to him.
Of great significance was the amount of the bride price. A small amount suggested that her husband held her in low esteem and of little value. But if he paid a great deal for her in money or service, the implication was that he was acquiring something extremely valuable that required cherishing. Thus a bridegroom’s consecrating his all to “purchase” his bride would signify both immense sacrifice and unbounded love. In his eyes, she would be of infinite worth. We recall that Jacob “served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her.” When we consider the bride price, we cannot avoid the reference to the Savior who paid for us with his life and offers us all that he is and has. He bought us with “his own blood.”
Although the bride’s father received the bride price, he returned most of it to his daughter. This became her dowry, which her husband could never access. It was her security, in case her husband died. Effectively, her father endowed her so that she might enter her new life and have adequate security to face with the uncertainties of that life. Thus, her security originated from the sacrifice of her husband and culminated in the generosity of her father.
Similarly, our Heavenly Father endows us with gifts of great value that ensure our future safety and security, and these gifts flow to us from the sacrifice of our beloved Bridegroom.
The Marriage Contract
In Jewish thought, all covenantal relationships were extremely serious. Often, only when they were sealed in blood did they became final and legally binding. The actual terms of the marriage covenant “were spelled out in a formal document called a ketubah…which stated the bride price…the promises and obligations of the groom and listed the rights of the bride. It signified a permanent covenant and an exclusive agreement.” The wording of an ancient ketubah might be representative:
- I will provide you with food, clothing and necessities.
- I will redeem you if you are ever taken captive.
- I will live with you as a husband according to the universal custom.
Notice that the marriage contract was weighted in the bride’s favor. The groom listed “what he would do for her, what he would give her, and how he would care and provide for her.” While it is true that we agree “to take upon us the name of [the] Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments,” it is also true that we sometimes forget how much the New and Everlasting Covenanted is weighted in our favor. If we “receive” Jesus, we also receive all that Jesus inherits from his Father: “[the] Father’s kingdom…therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him.” “They are they into whose hands the Father has given all things.”
The marriage covenant was one of love, security and comforting assurance. The bridegroom listed promises to always take care of his wife with food, clothing, necessities, redemption and affectionate attention. We would expect the same treatment by our relationship with the Lord in the Covenant. The text of Psalms 37 in the Jewish Tanakh reads: “The Lord is concerned for the needs of the blameless [the bride]; their portion lasts forever; they shall not come to grief in bad times; in famine, they shall eat their fill…. I have never seen a righteous man abandoned, or his children seeking bread. [The Lord] is always generous.”
By taking some license, we might personalize the promise of continuous caring that Jesus gave to his apostles on both continents:
And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin; And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith. Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
Another stipulation of the marriage contract was the bridegroom’s vow to redeem his wife should were she ever taken captive. Lehi assured his son Jacob of the surety of the Lord’s redemption: “Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth. Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice.”
All of us have sinned and to one extent or another have been taken captive by the enemy. Each of us is in need of the Bridegroom’s promise of redemption: “and he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people.” We are reminded of Abraham, a type of the Savior, who assembled an army to rescue Lot and his household from their enemies when they had been taken captive. “And [Abraham] brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people.” Thus by covenant, the Bridegroom places all that he has and is, including his own life, on the altar of sacrifice to redeem us from our enemies and to clear every obstacle that stands between us and exaltation.
Finally, the bridegroom promised to live with his wife with love and affection. Donna Nielsen wrote,
The third and last promise in the [marriage contract] was the groom’s promise to live as a husband with the bride and to give her an opportunity to bear children. In Hebrew ‘to bear children’ was synonymous with the term ‘to bear fruit.’ Children were called the ‘fruit of the womb (Luke 1:42).
To first be married (oneness) and to then bear fruit (fruitfulness) was considered by the ancients to be the measure of one’s creation. The oneness and fruitfulness shared by a husband and wife is described by the Savior (the True Vine) in the following verse: “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” As long as we abide in the Covenant with him, he promises to abide in us, and together our union will be one of abundant fruitfulness.
Moreover, he promises his continuous affection. Nephi called these acts of affection “tender mercies,” gentle reminders of his love and awareness, love notes from the one who knows and adores us most. “Behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen.” These evidences of love flow to us quietly but continually; they are a “multitude of his tender mercies.” When the bride recognizes her husband’s constant goodness, she is brought to tears for her good fortune: “And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them.”
The marriage contract was often elaborately decorated, a piece of art and thus as a thing of beauty. It contained the words of a binding and holy agreement, and the bride cherished it. The marriage contract was tangible proof of her future husband’s devotion and her immutable rights. Again, we hear overtones of the New and Everlasting Covenant. No doctrine is more glorious. We cling to the Covenant because it offers us the Bridegroom’s guarantees of continually providing for us, keeping us safe, redeeming us from our enemies, and living with us in loving and fruitful companionship. The Covenant promises us the Bridegroom’s name, and it reminds us of the great price that he paid for us. The Covenant guarantees that he will endow us with all that he is and has. It states that we, his bride, are his “great treasure,” and the Covenant reminds us that he has given his own blood to seal the covenant. What bride would not cherish such a document, especially if it was backed up by years of verifiable devotion?
The Gift of Value
The presentation of the marriage contract was followed by the bridegroom’s offering his beloved “a token,” that is, “a gift of value.” This gift was different from the bride price, which the bridegroom had paid to the young woman’s father. In this case, the groom offered the token directly to his intended bride. “The groom’s gift was considered to be an extension of himself….It also symbolized his willingness to sacrifice and served as a reminder of his love. A gold ring was frequently used as this token or gift because it represented eternity. Anciently, the ring used was often a link from a gold chain. The chain represented past and future family associations and was seen as symbolically linking the girl to her new family.”
Sometimes the “gift of value” was silver or gold coins. A devoted bride would often make a chain of the coins and attach them “to her veil as an important part of her headdress.” In private and in public, she was spoken for, beloved, and ever abiding in the covenant. If she lost something this valuable, she would take it as a tragedy. Jesus’ parable of the lost coin makes more sense in this light; the loss of something so precious could indicate that she had been careless with the token that her betrothed husband had given her. Clearly, our treatment of the Lord’s gifts is an indication of our respect for him and the Covenant that we have entered into. The tokens he gives us are the emblems of his sacrifice represented by the emblems of the sacrament.
The Pledge
After the bridegroom had paid the bride price, offered his beloved the covenantal marriage contract, and given her the token or gift of value, he “recited a ritual statement to consecrate himself to his bride.” For example, the Biblical prophet, Hosea, speaking for the Lord, pledged, “And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.”
Donna Nielsen explained that the word “consecrate, wherein the groom consecrated himself to the bride, is used to mean, ‘to devote irrevocably.’ The groom has no options here-no escape clauses-there is no question ever that he would rescind his invitation to the woman to marry. He cannot break this [covenant] if the woman remains faithful, for he is bound if she fulfills her part of the covenant.”
Just so, Christ consecrates and devotes himself to us irrevocably when he offers us the Covenant. He will absolutely live up to every promise made in the Covenant. The scriptures are replete with such language. For example, “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled.” “Ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the Lord your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof.” “Who am I, saith the Lord, that have promised and have not fulfilled?”
The Cup to Seal the Covenant
Now the bride had before her the marriage covenant, which stated the bride price, and the token or gift of value. She had heard the bridegroom make an irrevocable pledge stating his eternal devotion and indivisible consecration to her. At this point, he placed before her a cup of wine, which represented blood. Donna Nielsen wrote, “The idea was that the blood of the covenant superseded all other loyalties.” The wine also signified sacrifice and joy. “These three elements [blood, sacrifice and joy] were intrinsic to the marriage relationship….Now came the suspenseful part. At this point, the woman had about thirty seconds to make up her mind….If the woman was willing to receive the man and his proposed condition, she would accept his gift [token] and also drink the cup of wine, which sealed the covenant. This showed that she was willing to take his name upon her.”
When the Savior offers us the New and Everlasting Covenant, we must not vacillate but rather make a firm decision. Our being “lukewarm” only summons the Savior’s rebuke. Elijah became indignant with such indecision: “How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him.” However, in the act of acceptance, we see glimpses of our saying yes to baptism, receiving the sacrament, and consenting to taking our temple covenants and ordinances. Drinking of the cup is implied in every covenant-making instance: “But Jesus answered and said…Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able. And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with.”
The bride’s drinking of the cup of wine had to be witnessed by two observers. If and when the bride drank of the cup, the couple was considered betrothed for marriage. “Following the woman’s acceptance, the groom and sometimes the girl’s father recited additional formal statements….To the bride, the groom would speak the words, ‘Thou art set apart (or consecrated) for me according to the law of Moses and Israel.’ Interestingly, the same word for ‘set apart,’ in the New Testament Greek, ‘hagiazo’ was also used to describe the state of a temple once it was dedicated.”
The bride’s body was now considered a temple for her husband. Likewise, when we enter the Covenant our bodies become temples for the spirit of the Lord. That idea was suggested by Paul: “Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” And in another place, “The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”
All of this suggests, of course, that the marriage covenant represented more than mere ritual or the rehearsing of words. To become valid and eternal, those outward ritualistic actions had to become an inward condition of two hearts bound together by love:
But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel [the bride]; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people [my bride]. And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord.” Most intimately and most completely, we will know the Bridegroom, and our love would not permit us to violate our Covenant with him. “This is eternal lives–to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. Receive ye, therefore, my law.
The Covenantal Feast
The betrothal ceremony often ended with a feast at the home of the bride. Included in the feast would be the “breaking of bread.” By partaking of the “same loaf at the same table,” the participants became bound together as companions. Significantly, the sharing of a meal together followed the couple’s entering into a covenant.
We cast our thoughts immediately upon the sacrament table and the Lord’s supper, which among other things reminds us of our previously having entered into the New and Everlasting Covenant with the Lord through baptism. Additionally, the sacrament reminds us that we are “in waiting,” anticipating the time when the Bridegroom will come for us and take us into the place that he has prepared for us in the mansions of his Father. We are always in a state of remembrance, obediently preparing and patiently anticipating the Bridegroom.
The sacrament also helps us to hearken back to the day when we accepted the Lord’s proposal and made mutual vows to each other in the presence of two witnesses. That was the day when we formalized our covenant with Lord by being immersed in the living waters or in other words drinking fully from the cup of his love. To commemorate the day we entered into the New and Everlasting Covenant, we eat a covenantal meal containing broken bread from the same loaf.
Therefore, by the bread and the cup of wine, we keep forefront in our minds our love for and hope in our loving Bridegroom; we hold in sacred remembrance our immutable vows to each other; we know that he will someday come at an unannounced hour to carry us away to the place that he has prepared for us, our eternal inheritance-”our mansion”-where we will live with him forever in the house of his Father.
Next Time
In the next segment of this four-part series, we will examine the events that occur during the waiting period-the time between the betrothal and the wedding. We will examine the father’s calling, some symbolic clothing, the responsibility of the friend of the bridegroom, and the importance of the bridegroom and the bride’s preparing for each other.
Publisher’s Note
The Three Pillars of Zion is an extensive 5-volume set of books that explores the covenants, attributes and characteristics that define a Zion person. This Zion series is heavily documented with over 3,800 references, making it one of the most extensive research projects ever written about Zion. New York Times best-selling author, Ron McMillan, says, “Larry Barkdull has written one of the most definitive works on the subject of Zion.” This ground-breaking series contains one of the most critical messages for our day. We invite you to learn more and receive a complimentary copy of the Pillars of Zion Sampler at www.PillarsOfZion.com.
See 1 Corinthians 6:20
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.21
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.25-26
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.21, referencing John J. Collins, “Marriage, Divorce, and Family in Second Temple Judaism,” Browning, p.104-162
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.22
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.23
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.111
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.111
Psalms 37:18-19, 25-26, Tanakh
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.112
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.114
See Joseph Fielding Smith, The Restoration of All Things, p.244
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.28
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.28
See Verse 7, “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief,” Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, #153
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.29
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.31
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.30-31
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.20-21, 32
See Enos 1:27; Ether 12:32, 34, 37; D&C 98:18
See Matthew 20:22-23; 3 Nephi 18:8-9
(NOTE: This article is the first part of four articles adapted from Chapter 8 of The Three Pillars of Zion. You can download a free Sampler of this new Zion series at www.PillarsOfZion.com.)
According to D&C 42:67, a Zion life is built upon three “pillars.” These pillars are:
- The New and Everlasting Covenant
- The Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood
- The Law of Consecration
The New and Everlasting Covenant Compared to Jewish Marriage
Throughout the scriptures, the marriage metaphor is used to describe our covenantal relationship with the Lord. He is the Bridegroom and the Church is the bride. By extension, we, individually, are his bride: “For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.” We are to prepare ourselves for the time the Bridegroom comes to receive us: “Wherefore, be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom–For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that I come quickly.” We are to become prepared and beautiful for him: “adorned as a bride.”
That the Lord chose marriage to describe the New and Everlasting Covenant should summon our solemn contemplation. Marriage is the summit of gospel covenants, the relationship that is the most intimate, most enduring and the most loving of unions. Marriage is the relationship in which the power of God to create is manifest; children spring from this union; multiplication, replenishment and fruitfulness become possible. The metaphor of marriage suggests the abandonment of selfish interests, profound loyalty and complete sacrifice.
Marriage requires the entire consecration of one’s time, talents and resources to his or her companion, the totality of all that one is and all that one has. Marriage is a covenantal lifestyle that results in oneness, a relationship wherein the partners are no longer “twain, but one flesh,” joined together by God, and intended to endure beyond man’s attempts to put asunder. If marriage is to be successful, it requires losing one’s life in selfless service to and the loving of one’s spouse; then, in return, marriage leads to finding one’s life in a more exalted purpose.
Marriage urges the best of behavior in the partners: “and they shall mention the loving kindness of their Lord, and all that he has bestowed upon them according to his goodness, and according to his loving kindness, forever and ever.” Marriage is yoking together to ease one another’s burdens, and the mutual sharing of each other’s challenges: “In all their afflictions he was afflicted…and in his love, and in his pity, he redeemed them, and bore them, and carried them all the days.” By purpose and by design marriage is eternal, the highest order of celestial living, the ultimate source of happiness, and significantly the highest order of the Priesthood.
Conversely, disloyalty to the marriage covenant is a grievous sin, “most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost.” Clearly, the Lord takes seriously the New and Everlasting Covenant and expects us to do the same.
In the foreword of Donna B. Nielsen’s excellent work, The Beloved Bridegroom, Dr. Robert J. Norman wrote, “The wedding ceremony was a metaphor often used by Christ and the Old Testament authors. A study of the Jewish marriage customs yields a wealth of spiritual understanding and deeper insight into the teachings of Jesus and the Biblical prophets.” Donna Nielsen explained, “A knowledge of Biblical marriage imagery can greatly enrich our understanding of how God relates to us through covenants.
Biblical covenant marriage imagery encompasses principles as diverse as Sabbath observance, the Atonement, temple worship, and missionary work. It literally begins with Adam and ends with Zion.” Let us, therefore, examine the New and Everlasting Covenant by contrasting it with the Jewish marriage tradition. In advance, we thank Donna B. Nielsen for her generous support in providing access to her research.
Born to Marry
Elder John A. Widstoe stated that marriage is “the most important event between birth and death,” and certainly the Jewish people agreed. We cannot overstate the importance of marriage in Jewish society. Marriage was clearly linked to the covenant God made with Israel; in fact, we might say that children were born with the purpose of marrying.
Donna Nielsen stated that an infant male “was often affectionately called ‘the little bridegroom.’ This reflected one of three great hopes that parents had for their children, namely that their children would: study Torah (study the scriptures), be under the wedding canopy (marry in the covenant), and do good deeds (live righteous lives).” Immediately, we see the connection between marriage and the New and Everlasting Covenant. From the moment of birth, our life’s purpose should be to learn about and prepare for the Bridegroom, enter into a Covenant with the Bridegroom, and do the works of the Bridegroom. As much as Jewish children were born to marry, we are born to enter into the Covenant.
Because marriage was the goal of life, husbands and wives married at an early age. No later than eighteen was the norm, and most often they married years before that. A boy became a Son of the Law by age thirteen, and technically one month later he was considered of marriageable age. Girls were eligible at twelve years and one month.
In today’s culture, we might have difficulty imagining Joseph and Mary, two teenagers, taking on the heavy responsibility of marriage and caring for the Savior of the world. Also, we might struggle with the concept that Jesus could have been married for 12-15 years and had children before he began his ministry at age thirty. But according to Jewish custom, these facts probably hold true. Marriage was the focal point of Jewish life, and we might imagine that Joseph and Mary, and later Jesus, followed the prevailing tradition by marrying in their teens.
The Parents’ Responsibility and the Bride’s Choice
Marriages were thought to be too important to be left to chance. Fathers and mothers made these decisions for their children. Who else loved the child more? Who else had the child’s best interests in mind? Who else wanted the child’s happiness more than the parents? Today, we might cringe at this ancient custom, but Jewish children expected their parents to advocate for their happiness. Despite the fact that the parents were expected to prayerfully deliberate then introduce their children to their intended spouse, the children owned the ultimate choice. Their agency was never violated.
Today, of course, parents do not formally choose their children’s mates, but the similarity to the ancient custom is clear: Parents have the responsibility to introduce their children to Christ. Fathers, by virtue of their holding the priesthood, have the responsibility to take their children into the waters of baptism and help them to enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant with Jesus. Now the children are given over or married to Christ by Covenant, and taking upon them his name, they begin a relationship with him that will end up in the mansions of his Father.
Love for each other was expected to be cultivated after the marriage, not necessarily before. We note that after Isaac married Rebekah he grew in his love for her. This reversal of order might seem strange to us, but the implication is intriguing: Covenant people grow together in love as they remain true to each other. When we enter into the New and Everlasting Covenant, we do so without a full appreciation for or love of the Lord. These things take time. But as we live together in the Covenant and as we have experience with the Lord, we grow to love him more and more. “The Semetic root word for ‘love’ is haw or hav. It means ‘to warm’ or ‘to kindle,’ ‘to set on fire.’” Over time, our love for the Bridegroom grows from an ember to a blazing fire until love becomes as perfect as the God of love, who “dwells in everlasting burnings.”
Requirements to Legalize the Covenant
The marriage covenant “had serious implications. There were three parts that were vital to a completed marriage contract in Biblical times. These were money, writ, and intercourse. All three of these conditions had to be met for a marriage to be recognized as legal.” The groom was expected to pay a bride price for his beloved. Then he was to offer her a marriage contract, a writ or ketuba, whereby he consecrated himself to his bride. Finally, the marriage had to be consummated; that is, he must know his wife through intercourse. This last condition fulfilled the requirement that blood be shed to complete the covenant.
Thus, in both marriage and in the New and Everlasting Covenant, we (the bride) are:
- “Bought with a price.”
- United by covenant according to the Law of Consecration, which is “the law of the celestial kingdom.”
- Known, or “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood.”
When we consider these conditions, we begin to understand the price that Jesus was willing to pay to draw us to him, redeem us and secure our eternal affections. Marvin Wilson wrote:
…the joining of a man and a woman is a reenactment or replica of God’s eternal covenant relation to his chosen. To understand Biblical marriage is to understand the Biblical concept of covenant. In Hebrew ‘to make a covenant’ is literally ‘to cut a covenant’….The shedding of blood dramatically ratified and sealed the covenant (Genesis 15:9-18; Jeremiah 34:18-20). If one attempted to break the covenant, the blood served as a powerful visual lesson that one’s own blood would be shed. In brief, it was a solemn oath to be kept on pain of death. It was thus inviolable and irrevocable.”
Initiating the Marriage Proposal
The bridegroom initiated the process of offering the covenant of marriage to the bride. When we consider this action in light of the New and Everlasting Covenant, we see something tender and loving about the character of the Savior. We are immediately impressed by the fact that he, not us, invites us into the New and Everlasting Covenant. Clearly, “we love Him because he loved us first.”
When we are baptized, we often miss the fact that Jesus was the one who reached out to us and bade us enter into an eternal covenantal relationship with him. We sometimes mistakenly think that we were the ones who instigated the process, but according to the Jewish marriage tradition, that is not true. In advance of every baptism is Jesus’ implied invitation. This fact speaks to his adoring love for us. He is the Bridegroom and we are his potential bride. He is the one who begins the covenant-making process. He does this through the Holy Ghost and through his authorized representatives: fathers, Home Teachers, bishops or missionaries.
The occasion of the marriage proposal often happened at the harvest season, suggesting a bounteous relationship and a fruitful future. Likewise, when we join with the Lord in the Covenant, we glorify both him and his Father and we “bear much fruit” together. The proposal procedure began by the bridegroom’s going to the house of the bride. He was accompanied by his father or a close friend(s). We immediately envision a small entourage, a companionship, two or more witnesses like missionary companions, on an important mission to convey an invitation of infinite worth to the intended bride.
In her presence, the bridegroom would make the covenantal offer while his friend(s) would support him and bear witness of the event. This was the beginning of holiness, for truly, upon her acceptance of the marriage covenant, the bride would effectively ascribe holiness unto the Lord, her new husband. Donna Nielsen wrote: “The collective term for all that broadly comprises a Jewish marriage is Kiddushin, which literally means ‘sanctities.’ This concept includes the ideas of being devoted irrevocably, being sanctified and set apart, and being consecrated.” Clearly, the Jewish marriage is the perfect metaphor for the New and Everlasting Covenant.
Entering into the Covenant
The Bridegroom’s proposal to us includes sacred rituals that consecrate him to us (the bride), and our accepting his proposal consecrates us to him. We hear overtures of the Law of Consecration in this. Other symbolisms of the New and Everlasting Covenant become evident as the betrothal ceremony unfolds. In the Jewish marriage, the groom offered the bride’s father a bride price-she was “bought with a price.”
Then the bridegroom presented his potential bride a written covenant of marriage that he had prepared. Then he offered her a “gift of value,” which represented a “token” of his promise and an “emblem” of his love. With the token he recited a pledge to irrevocably bind and consecrate himself to her forever. Then, in the presence of two witnesses, he placed before his beloved a cup of wine. If she drank of the cup, the contract of marriage was ratified or sealed, and the betrothal period began. Moreover, by drinking of the cup, she indicated her willingness to take upon herself her husband’s name. At that point, the couple, along with their guests, shared a covenantal meal.
Thus, by these rituals that were rich in imagery, the bridegroom and bride entered into the eternal covenant of marriage. When the ceremony was complete, the only question that remained was would the rituals that represented the marriage covenant translate into life-long acts of devotion and consecration? That is, would the couple’s covenant become royal by their subsequent loyalty, patience, sacrifice and love? Or would the Covenant remain a set of symbols and a piece of paper upon which promises had been made but never enacted?
Next Time
In the next segment of this four-part series, we will examine the beautiful rites that were associated with the Jewish custom of betrothal that initiated the marriage and preceded the wedding
Publisher’s Note
The Three Pillars of Zion is an extensive 5-volume set of books that explores the covenants, attributes and characteristics that define a Zion person. This Zion series is heavily documented with over 3,800 references, making it one of the most extensive research projects ever written about Zion. New York Times best-selling author, Ron McMillan, says, “Larry Barkdull has written one of the most definitive works on the subject of Zion.” This ground-breaking series contains one of the most critical messages for our day. We invite you to learn more and receive a complimentary copy of the Pillars of Zion Sampler at www.PillarsOfZion.com.
See Matthew 9:15; Mark 2:19; Luke 5:34; John 3:29
See Revelation 21:2, 9-10; 22:17
D&C 33:17; see also D&C 88:92; 133:10, 19
See David O. McKay, Man May Know for Himself: Teachings of President David O. McKay, compiled by Clare Middlemiss, p.235
See Bruce R. McConkie, “Patriarchal Order,” Mormon Doctrine, p.559
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. iii
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 2
John A. Widtsoe, Evidences and Reconciliations, p.297
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 4
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 2
See Enos 1:27; Ether 12:32-37; D&C 59:2; 98:18
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.13
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.13
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p. 18
Marvin Wilson, Our Father Abraham, p.205. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1989
See Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.14
Donna B. Nielsen, Beloved Bridegroom, p.18
Love and example have the power to rescue a child. But coupled with these virtues is the unequalled power of personal sanctification. When parents apply to increased righteousness, effectual keys are turned, and deliverance steps through the door. Here are two stories from parents: one in the process, and the other feeling the sweet fruits of success.
Dear Larry,
Thank you for letting me vent.
We have a son who is almost forty. When he was a teenager, he started playing in a rock band, and then he got into drugs. He married then lost his family. His friends have all moved on. Worst of all, he has lost our trust. We have spent thousands on his broken promises. I won’t go into all that has happened. He has hurt my husband and me and each of his siblings.
I am ashamed to admit that we have almost given up on him, and yet we continue to pray for him and hope for a miracle like unto Alma the Younger. His current girlfriend, who has also been on drugs, and her children want to change and join the Church. Their desire, the girlfriend says, is due to our examples. They want to be part of our family, but our son is jealous of their attention to us, and he will not support their decision.
I understand a little about the alcoholic mind. I am an ex-alcoholic. But with God’s help. I am past that problem, and I keep my temple covenants. The gospel gives me strength. I just wish I could convince my son that tou can do anything with the Lord on your side. Thanks for your articles.
Venting Mom
Dear Venting Mom,
Isn’t it wonderful that God never gives up on any of us? Obviously, he found you and saved you miraculously. He is certainly capable of doing the same for your son and his girlfriend. Your working with him is teaching you the next skill on the path to exaltation: how to become a savior on Mount Zion. Because gaining the skill of redemption is what we want, God is giving us invaluable training in mortality.
Your situation is not curse; it is a trust. If you had been called to be the Young Women’s president, and had several girls who were wayward, you would be concerned, but you would not take their choice of waywardness personally. You would realize that you had been called of God at this very time for this very situation–it is a trust. Because you would have that perspective, although you might feel overwhelmed, you would know that Heavenly Father prepares and qualifies those whom he calls. Knowing that you are participating in his plan of salvation for these girls, rather than having to invent a plan of salvation, would give you the courage to move forward. Now you would know that sanctifying yourself so that you would have increased spiritual power is the key to working with these girls.
Parents should feel the same way. We have a trust; we were prepared for and will be strengthened to accomplish that trust. We don’t have to create a plan; we simply need to increase our spiritual capacity to better participate in God’s plan, as he reveals it to us. Here is our mantra: Every effort we put forth to sanctify ourselves has a redeeming effect on those for whom we are praying. Despite your misgivings, you are probably doing better than you think, and changes might be happening in your son that you do not readily perceive. I suggest that you try praying with a specific purpose, then infuse spiritual power into those prayers by increasing your personal sanctification (more temple attendance, fasting, service, etc.). The specific purpose is to ask for in prayer is a “conversion opportunity” to be presented to your son. Don’t dictate the terms, but ask for something to happen that gives your son a chance to rethink his position and hopefully choose otherwise. Be patient and persistent then see what happens.
Thanks for writing to me.
Larry
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Dear Larry,
You asked for stories. Here is ours.
Beth (name changed) is the fifth of our six children. When I was pregnant, the Spirit whispered to me that my husband and I were receiving her from the Lord for a reason. She needed “seasoned parents.” When I was two months along, I sensed that this girl was going to be feisty. I was not disappointed.
When Beth was four years old, I was trying to teach her some simple chores. With an attitude, she put her little hands on her hips and said, “Mom, I wasn’t made for work!” That gave me a hint about what I was in for. On Sunday, when she was eleven, she was walking the halls of Primary, and suddenly she turned to me and said she didn’t want to go to the celestial kingdom. She said that when she turned eighteen she was going to move out and never be a Mormon again. She was good for her word. She was lees active throughout her teenage years. She began using self-destructive talk, and we tried to take her to a counselor, but she refused.
When she turned nineteen, she moved out, and by that time, it was a blessing for all of us. Actually, being on her own helped her in some ways. Nevertheless, many of her choices hurt us badly. Through it all, my husband and I focused our attention on maintaining a good relationship with her. I drew strength from the Book of Mormon, which acted like a Liahona in my life, telling me the next step in our relationship. The wonderful book helped me to change my attitude toward Beth. I no longer saw her as a problem child, but rather a wonderful gift that brought me closer to God. Beth began meeting guy on the Internet, which scared my husband and me. Eventually, she met a man not of our faith who truly loved her, and they married.
Now comes the miracle. A few years ago, in a Conference talk, an apostle promised senior couples that if they would serve a mission, their wayward children would be blessed. My husband and I accepted that challenge, and we served a mission. While we were gone, Beth was trying to conceive but without success. It was doubtful anyway. During all her promiscuous years, when she seldom took precautions, she never got pregnant. Now she wanted a baby, but nothing was happening. Until the month after we had left on our mission! Suddenly, Beth had a reason to stop drinking and smoking. Her husband stopped, too. She stopped drinking coffee and other caffeine drinks-all because of the baby.
After the child was born, he doctor prescribed heavy-duty pain killers, and she became addicted. Ne night, she called us in distress. She wanted us to help her get in touch with the bishop because she was “sick” and wanted a blessing. She had not slept in four days, and her life was unraveling. This opened a door. Over the next few weeks, while she was detoxing, she read the Book of Mormon and prayed. These were the only things that helped her get through the ordeal.
Within a month, she read the entire Book of Mormon. She would call us with insightful questions, which proved that she was really absorbing the message. The she read The Miracle of Forgiveness and the Doctrine and Covenants. Now she is working on the Old and New Testaments. She continues to meet with the bishop, and she and her husband are attending church. HE is even taking the missionary lessons!
My husband and I returned from our mission recently. Beth and her husband continue to go to church. We can’t believe the miracle that is happening right before our eyes. But when I hear the cheerfulness in Beth’s voice, it makes the last thirteen years of fasting, praying and serving a mission worth the price. Recently she told us, “Mom and Dad, you taught me right. It just took a little longer to sink in.”
I appreciate your saying in your article that the evil one knows who to attack-our young and vulnerable ones. Beth’s patriarchal blessing says just that: because of her valiance in the defense of agency in the premortal existence, Satan would single her out and try to destroy her. The subject of agency has always been important to her, but it just took awhile for her to exercise agency correctly.
I can testify that God is a God of miracles, and he keeps his promises…on his time schedule.
A mother who witnessed a miracle
Have you ever become so frustrated with your wayward child that you wish something difficult would happen to shake him up? Then you repent and go back to status quo. But what if your prayer was to ask for a conversion experience-something that would offer the child an opportunity to rethink his position and exercise his agency in a positive way?
Here are two stories from parents: one who is in the process of rescuing her wayward children, and another who prayed for an accident!
Dear Larry,
I’ve been happily reading your articles on Meridian Magazine. I even printed a couple of them and studied and pondered. Because of what I read, I began praying for my children and for opportunities to let them feel my love, preparatory to praying for conversion opportunities. I have three adult sons–one died by suicide 17 years ago–so lots of pain in the parenting world for me! And I have three adult daughters, and a twelve-year-old daughter.
Our family is not only broken, it is fractured. I had “accepted’ that my adult children had made their choices to not be involved with the gospel, and I threw all my attention on raising the youngest. Then her father began to fight me for custody of her. During the struggle, I prayed mightily and was blessed with success, but ALSO the spirit whispered to me that I do have other children, who still need my love and attention.
It was right then that I saw your articles on Meridian and realized that my parenting responsibilities are not over. There ARE things I can do! So I began to pray mightily for them, praying for opportunities to show my love for them (let’s start small!). Last night, as I lay in bed, I realized that a miracle had occurred during that day: I had enjoyed ‘heart to heart’ talks with two of my adult daughters and another wonderful conversation with my youngest. All in one day! The Lord had answered my prayers for “conversion opportunities!” He had quietly opened the door for me to show my love.
I am working on strengthening myself spiritually, and praying more fervently for more opportunities to reach out to my children. I had given up, but now I realize that I can pray and sanctify myself, and the Lord will bless and help me. I realize that my children their agency, but I also have learned that I can pray and ask the Lord to bless them with opportunities to use their agency to rethink their position. And maybe it all starts with love and healing the relationship. Please tell your readers that we mothers should never underestimate the power of our love. That power can make us an instrument in the hands of the Lord in the lives of our children.
Thank you so much for opening my eyes!
Mom whose eyes were opened
Dear Mom Whose Eyes Were Opened,
You have made an important discovery: Love is the greatest power in the universe.
When we work with our wayward children, we must remember that we can no more change a person than a missionary can convert. Change and conversion are the Holy Ghost’s job. But sadly, often when we parents are faced with a challenge that only a god could tackle, we feel overwhelmed and alone. Actually, divine help rushes to our aid, as you have learned. Our object should be to infuse spiritual power into our lives so we can better participate in God’s plan of salvation for our child. As we do so, we make another discovery: Every effort we make to sanctify ourselves has a redeeming effect on the person for whom we are praying. When we make that discovery, we have learned one of the most valuable lessons in mortality–one that will follow us into eternity and fit us to become eternal parents, who will be doing the work of redemption forever.
Keep loving and praying. Things will turn out better than you can imagine.
Blessings!
Larry
Dear Larry,
I am a mother to six children, all of them are now grown and most are struggling. One of my sons came home after serving nine months of his mission. He was determined to repent of his sins, but found it harder than he had anticipated. His prison term is nearing an end, and I have observed in him the desire to repent and change his life. I know that this will take time, but hopefully he will be fully converted to the gospel.
Another son returned from serving an honorable mission and served faithfully in various church callings until abruptly he changed his entire lifestyle within six months. He tells me that he knows that the gospel is true, but he can no longer live it as he was taught. Now he has chosen an alternate lifestyle. Another son was a victim of abuse as a young child. He says the gospel is true, but living the commandments is too hard. He has also chosen an alternate lifestyle and questions why our church won’t accept it.
I’m not exactly sure what I would like to say, but after reading several of your articles in the Meridian Magazine, I felt I needed to thank you for the view that you have opened up for me. Hope has been dim for a long time, but now I realize that I should not have let it disappear in my life. I am learning to not give up. I feel a great chasm in my family. We are being split apart by our individual understandings of the gospel. It seems that each of us is standing on a different side of the bank, and as the chasm widens we drift farther apart.
I struggle to not dwell on mourning the choices of my sons. I try to receive strength and courage from the scriptures, and I strive to follow the examples of Lehi, Alma the Elder, and others as they relate how they dealt with their wayward children. Reading your articles has helped me to redouble my hold on the iron rod. I realize that I must endeavor to live the gospel as best I can, and continue to pray and hope that my children will eventually turn and seek the gospel with all their hearts. Again, thank you for your articles which give me hope and strength.
Hopeful Mother
Becoming a Zion person is a process that replaces telestial qualities with celestial ones. In Part 2 of this Zion series, we will discuss the traits of charity (true love), experiencing true happiness, joy and fullness of life, and becoming holy.
Exhibiting the True Love of Christ
President Joseph F. Smith said, “Charity, or [true] love, is the greatest principle in existence.” On the principle of love-love of God and love of neighbors-”hang all the law and the prophets.” Like other principles, love ranges in quality from telestial to celestial, which type of love is called charity, “the pure love of Christ.” This quality of love-true love–is found in a Zion person, and because charity is perfect, celestial, true love, it “never faileth.”
Charity describes God: “God is love.” Because we are commanded to be perfect like him, we must learn to truly love like he loves. The apostle John taught that the person who loves best knows God best: “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.”
What sets apart celestial love from lesser love is motivation; charity is more what we do than what we feel. Therefore, the opposite of love is not hate but apathy. Perhaps the best description of charity is found in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 and Moroni 7:44-48. Here is the list personalized of a Zion person’s true love:
Characteristics of True Celestial Love
- True love suffers long (endures a hardship or endures with someone during his/her hardship)
- True love is kind
- True love does not envy
- True love is not vaunted up (does not boast)
- True love is not puffed up (is not proud)
- True love does not behave unseemly (act rudely)
- True love seeks not his/her own (is not selfish)
- True love is not easily provoked (keeps temper under control)
- True love thinks no evil (focuses on the good)
- True love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth (is not inclined toward evil, but embraces anything virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy)
- True love bears all things (bears up under the weight of problems)
- True love believes all things (recognizes and follows truth)
- True love hopes all things (knows ultimately that God is in charge)
- True love endures all things (is willing to pay the price because he knows the wait will be worth it).
True Celestial Love vs. Telestial and Terrestrial Love
Charity (true love) differs from telestial and terrestrial love by the fact that it is saving love. Charity lifts another person, and has the capacity to forgive and rescue from enormous distances. As we give and receive this celestial love, we discover that those within our gravitational pull cannot escape its embrace.
The Three Pillars and Meanings of True Love
Charity, the true love of Zion, is built on three pillars: total loyalty, total sacrifice and total trust. Moreover, charity has three meanings: Love from Christ, Love for Christ, Love like Christ. Quoting Elder Max Caldwell, H. Wallace Goddard observed, “Charity is first and foremost the redemptive love that Jesus offers all of us. It is the love from Christ. He is the model of charity – which never faileth.’”
How Does True Love Grow?
How does celestial love grow? By someone loving first. Heavenly Father set the example: “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us…We love him, because he first loved us.” Likewise, when we love first, love is returned. It is an oft-repeated scriptural formula that has many applications. For example, “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Elder Boyd K. Packer said it this way: “As you give what you have, there is a replacement, with increase!” John Greenleaf Whittier wrote, “I’ll lift you, and you lift me, and we’ll both ascend together.”
Blessings of True Love
Whereas Babylon elevates only me, the true love of Zion elevates others through me. Zionlike love is not only an expansive principle, it is one that draws God near to us and becomes perfect when we accept it and do not turn away from it: “If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.” Moreover, by showing love through selfless service, we are endowed with an added measure of the Holy Ghost: “Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.” As we abide in this cycle of loving and receiving love, our ability to love eventually becomes perfect: “God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect….”
One of the greatest benefits of love is ceasing to be afraid: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear….” Moreover, Zion’s love is patient, which means: “I will wait with you,” “I will wait for you,” and “I will wait upon you,” meaning “I will serve you.” In one way or another I will wait.
Love-celestial, true, Zionlike love–is the greatest power in the universe. True love motivates God to do all that he does. The greatest expression of his love is to give and redeem life. He invites all of his children to experience this quality of love and this type of life, for therein is his “joy made full.” By following his example-giving life and redeeming life-is our joy also made full. And the word full always describes Zion.
Experiencing true happiness, joy and fullness of life
In addition to charity-true celestial love-Zion people are distinguished by a celestial level of other virtues, such as happiness, joy and fullness of life. Interestingly, the scriptures connect these three. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught “happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.”
Happiness, like other principles, exists in varying degrees “ranging from ‘celestial’ to ‘telestial,’ depending on the level of ‘law’ they ‘abide’ (D&C 88:22-35; 76).” People of Zion enjoy happiness on a celestial level. Having embraced the New and Everlasting Covenant after the coming of Christ, the Nephites enjoyed happiness equal to that of Enoch’s people, which Elder Marion G. Romney described as “a society in which, ‘there was no contention…because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people’; a society in which, ‘there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness;’ a society in which every member had conquered the lusts of the flesh. ‘…and surely,’ concludes the record, ‘there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.’ (4 Nephi 15-16).”
Certainly, the absence of evil promotes joy, but only “virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God,” which includes selfless service, create it. If the purpose of man’s creation is that he might have joy, then that man must develop these attributes in his character.
Attendant Blessings
We experience joy by awareness and appreciation for “the gifts of life, the earth, and personal agency (e.g., taste, smell, beauty, music)”; by “using these gifts to create opportunities or to develop relationships (e.g., marriage, parenting, charity); by “coming to understand how mortality fits into the divine purpose or plan of Heavenly Father” (using this understanding “as a framework for comprehending and assimilating life’s experiences”); and by “accepting Christ as Savior and feeling his acceptance and approval of one’s efforts.”
Elder McConkie explained that only entering into the joy of the Lord, could cultivate a fullness of joy, which is the condition of Zion. True happiness-joy-, he said, “is a gift of the Spirit. It comes from the Holy Ghost,” suggesting that Satan cannot duplicate the feeling of joy. “In this connection, the Book of Mormon describes a scene wherein ‘the spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience’ (Mosiah 4:3; cf. John 15:10-12).” Therefore, the more faith-filled, repentant, humble and Zionlike we become, the more joy we experience.
Moreover, our seeking the establishment of Zion in our lives will serve to dispel sadness and result in the highest degree of joy: “For the Lord shall comfort Zion, he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody.”
Becoming Holy
Charity, happiness, joy and fullness of life contribute to holiness. Zion is a holy place-”the City of Holiness”–whose individual citizens are holy: “…he that is left in Zion…shall be called holy.” We cannot make ourselves holy; only God can do that. Our responsibility is to strive for holiness by living the New and Everlasting Covenant (the Covenant), which has the power to bring us to perfection, and thus holiness.
Because Zion “cannot be built up unless it is by the principles of the law of the celestial kingdom,” a state of holiness is not possible unless we embrace the celestial Covenant and become like celestial people. Brigham Young explained the goal of holiness pursued by Zion people: “We are trying to be the image of those who live in heaven; we are trying to pattern after them, to look like them, to walk and talk like them, to deal like them, and build up the kingdom of heaven as they have done.”
Journey to Holiness
Becoming holy is a journey: “The process of becoming holy is based on three doctrines: justification, which satisfies the demands of justice for the sins of the individual through the Atonement of Jesus Christ; purification, made possible by that same Atonement and symbolized in the Sacrament of the bread and water, requiring the constant cleansing of oneself from earthly stains and imperfections; and sanctification, the process of being made holy. Having purified oneself of imperfections to the greatest degree possible, one is invested, over a lifetime, with holiness from God.”
How We Become Holy
The concept of perfection, the ultimate expression of holiness, can seem overwhelming to us struggling mortals. The troubling commandment is stated in the Sermon of the Mount. Using the Father as an example, Jesus told his disciples in Jerusalem: “Ye are therefore commanded to be perfect even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Later, to the Nephites, he gave substantially the same commandment, but this time he added himself as an example: “Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.”
We see in these verses a subtle indication that total perfection is acquired by going from one perfection to another. While Jesus was in the flesh, although he was a perfect man, he was nevertheless not as perfect as his Father, who was a resurrected, glorified man. But after his resurrection, as indicated in his rewording the commandment to the Nephites, Jesus could claim the Father’s quality of perfection. Clearly, this exalted level of perfection can only be attained after the resurrection.
Achieving Holiness in the Covenant
Interestingly, some gospel writers have suggested that the Savior’s commandment to become perfect points to the diligence we give to abiding in the New and Everlasting Covenant. Hence, the verse might read, “Ye are therefore commanded to be perfect in living the Covenant even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect in living the Covenant.” With the same degree of diligence that the Father perfectly abides in the Covenant, so we must abide in the Covenant–”even unto death, that you may be found worthy.”
We do not arrive at this or any level of perfection automatically. Nevertheless, we understand that just men, who are not yet ultimately perfect, are nevertheless made perfect through the grace of Jesus Christ; that is, abiding in the Covenant assures us the enabling power of the atonement to make us as if we were perfect until the time that we are wholly perfect, meaning “finished, complete, fully developed.” Perhaps it is this quality of perfection that just men like Noah attained, for such men are described as perfect in their generation.
Likewise, we are made perfect in the Covenant, which is designed to move us forward to ultimate perfection and holiness, if we will abide in it as does our Father, whose name is Man of Holiness. Therefore, we have no reason to lose hope. The prophets have taught us repeatedly that it is our direction, not our arriving, that makes all the difference. The perfection of Enoch’s Zion, we are told, was in the “process of time.”
Joseph F. Smith, Conference Report, April 1917, p.4
See Marvin J. Ashton, Ensign, “Be a Quality Person,” February 1993
H. Wallace Goddard, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, p. 111
Boyd K. Packer, “The Candle of the Lord,” Ensign, January 1983
See Alma 26:11, 16; 3 Nephi 27:31; 28:10
See 4 Nephi 1:3, 16; Mosiah 16:11
Joseph Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 255-56
Encyclopedia of Mormonism, “Zion,” p.1625
Marion G. Romney, Conference Report, April 1958, p.126, emphasis added
Joseph Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 255-56
See Matthew 16:25; Mosiah 4:3, 20
Encyclopedia of Mormonism, “Joy,” p.771
Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, “Joy,” p.397
See Encyclopedia of Mormonism, “Joy,” p.771
Encyclopedia of Mormonism, “Holiness,” p.648
Journal of Discourses, vol 9, p.170
Encyclopedia of Mormonism, “Holiness,” p.648
See Moroni 10:32-33; D&C 76:69; 129:3; Hebrews 12:23