You are writing your record wholly for the generation of people who will be converted to Jesus Christ by your writings and who will prepare the earth for his Second Coming. To that end, you are allowed to see the future as if you lived in it. As you write this book, you will come to understand that future generation better than most people who would live in it, so well, in fact, that you will be able to glean parallel incidents from your present history and apply them to that future people.

Mormon Saw Our Day in Detail

It is safe to say that few prophets knew us better than Mormon. Given his extraordinary mandate and visionary gift, we might conclude that he never wrote one word of the Book of Mormon to teach history; rather, he wrote the book to convince all men “of the Jew and Gentile that JESUS is the CHRIST, the ETERNAL GOD.”[i] He wrote the Book of Mormon to teach us the fullness of the gospel and to prepare and warn us of the coming of the Lord. Furthermore, Mormon includes clear instruction within the pages of the Book of Mormon to liken the book’s teachings unto ourselves.[ii]

So, if you were Mormon and if you were to take a long, prophetic view of latter-day parenting challenges, and if you were to see an epidemic of waywardness, what lessons would you draw from your history to instruct and give hope to those future parents?

Mormon chose powerful examples, one of which was the story of Alma and his son. To set up this story, he related an important incident of the Nephite “pioneers,” whom the Lord had delivered and brought to the land of promise, Zarahemla. These stalwart people, who had sacrificed so much to establish their Zion, were raising children who did not believe, as had their parents. Here is how Mormon described these children of the next generation:

Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers.

They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ.

And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened.

And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God.[iii]

This frightening account of children abandoning their parents’ beliefs and following paths of carnality and sin resonates in too many LDS families. Mormon continued by demonstrating that no set of parents, not even the king of the land or the prophet of God, is safe from the effects of the plague of wayward children: “Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma, after his father….”[iv] Clearly, Satan can reach into any family and snatch away any of our innocent children.

Parents’ Reactions to Wayward Children

Of course, when this happens to us, we parents feel grief-stricken. President James E. Faust said, “The depth of the love of parents for their children cannot be measured. It is like no other relationship. It exceeds concern for life itself…The grief of a parent over a rebellious child is almost inconsolable.”[v] We parents feel isolated, ashamed and guilty. In vain we internalize and personalize the child’s bad behavior. “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see this coming?”

We groan under the weight of apparent scriptural indictments: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”[vi]

Perhaps worst, we feel helpless to change things. We could employ tough love and risk destroying the relationship, or we could silently watch and mourn and risk losing the child completely. How should we act? Where are the answers? Where is power to change things?

The scriptures give us an answer.

First, perspective. The Fall renders us significantly impotent. We ever feel sin beckoning us, and we cannot escape the realities of corruption, aging, disease and opposition. Mortality is a hard experience for our children and for us.

Second, grace. We cannot make it alone. The Fall is an impossible situation without divine intervention and help. Only Jesus Christ can give us the strength to persevere, overcome and do good works.

Third, strength. Strength to do what? When Nephi’s brothers bound him, we have been taught most recently by Elder Bednar,[vii] Nephi did not pray that the Lord would eliminate his circumstances; rather, he prayed to draw upon the power of the atonement for strength to change his circumstances. Nephi knew that he had limited power, but the Lord had infinite power. Because Nephi and the Lord were bound together by covenant, he could tap into that higher power and change his situation.

Parents as Agents of Change

For a parent to become an agent of change, capable of acting in the strength of the Lord, suggests global perspective offered by the Plan of Redemption, intense faith in Jesus Christ, and courageous implementation of the redemptive principles. The gospel teaches us this powerful truth: Every effort that we make to increase our level of sanctification has a direct redeeming effect on those for whom we are praying, as evidenced in the account of Alma the Elder. In other words, the redeemed do the redeeming; the sanctified do the sanctifying. The gospel of Jesus Christ holds the spiritual solution for spiritual waywardness.

Of course, nothing trumps agency, and no guarantee could ever been made that a child will ultimately choose to turn from a life of waywardness. Nevertheless, these principles are so powerful that the prophets have used very little qualifying language in making sweeping promises. Certainly it is possible for anyone to sin away from salvation, nevertheless, the atonement has a much greater reach than we might imagine.

Such optimism from the prophets for eventual success should kindle hope within any parent’s despairing heart. These empowering principles and promises should be good news for parents. Rather than languishing in hopelessness, while watching children die spiritually, parents can employ the sanctifying principles found in the Plan of Redemption and expect miracles to happen.

And miracles do happen!

The Plan of Redemption is a living, breathing, practical reality, and parents of the covenant have access to it to save their spiritually sick children. The mountain of evidence is astounding. Again, while nothing can interfere with a child’s freedom of choice, nevertheless, the Lord has promised that in his own due time—even if that time extends into the next life—he will tailor-make conversion opportunities for every wayward child, just as he did for Alma, the sons of Mosiah, Paul, and others, and attempt to call them back.

Because redemption is only possible through the gospel of Jesus Christ, the spiritual solution that the prophets and scriptures have set forth offer parents perspective, spiritual tools and hope. Ask yourself these questions:

Perspective

• What kind of a world do our children live in?
• What is their true divine nature?
• What quality of adversity are they facing in these latter-days?
• Who are we parents of the latter-days, and what is our divine appointment?
• Is a child’s waywardness a reflection of our failing or Heavenly Father’s trust?

Spiritual Tools

• What are the great benefits—gifts—that we receive by working with our wayward children? How do these benefits equip us for our eternal calling?
• How do we become partners with heavenly beings in the redemption process?
• What are the redemptive skills taught as the “heart of the gospel message”?
• How do we gain power to become saviors on Mount Zion? How can we learn to sanctify ourselves first so that we might be empowered to rescue others?
• How can we gain the power to ask for and receive blessings?

Hope

• What are the prophets’ promises to parents concerning wayward children?
• Are these promises really true: Victory is the Lord’s goal? Spiritual rescue is his work and glory?

The Individual Plans within the Plan of Salvation

The scriptures, which were written for our day, contain powerful principles that can turn each of us into a savior on Mount Zion in the similitude of the Savior of the world. We learn that the Plan of Salvation is just that: a plan to save. Said another way, within the Plan of Salvation is a personal plan of salvation for each of us and each of our children. We are no more the authors of that individual plan of salvation than we are the universal Plan of Salvation. In the beginning, we understand, God considered his children on both a global and an individual basis, and he devised a plan to rescue them—a plan that was as perfect as he is. We parents are invited and commissioned to participate in that plan, but we are not required to create it.

Imagine that you had just been called to be the Young Women’s president or a bishop, and you had several girls who were wayward. Of course, you would be concerned about them, but hopefully you would not take their choice of waywardness personally. You would face the challenge knowing that God had called you to work with these girls at this very time for this very situation. Your calling is a trust, not a failing!

Because you would have that perspective, although you might feel overwhelmed, you would know that Heavenly Father prepares and qualifies those whom he calls. To help rescue these girls, you have one of two choices: (1) You could stay up nights, wring your hands, worry, and blame yourself for your shortcomings and their decisions, or (2) Put all your energy into personal sanctification so that you could better participate in the Father’s plan of salvation for these girls.

You would be aware of the gap between your ability and the enormity of the challenge, and that realization would drive you to your knees to plead for grace, that principle of power that requires you to give your best effort with Christ’s promise that he will make up the difference. Without grace, you could never do work that is reserved for the Gods.

A Divine Trust, Not a Failing

Parents should feel this way and let go of the paralyzing feelings of failure. We are involved in a carefully orchestrated trust, which was foreseen and provided for in the atonement. We, personally, were prepared for and will be strengthened to accomplish that trust. In accomplishing our mission, we do not have to create a plan of salvation; we simply need to increase our spiritual capacity to better participate in God’s plan, as he reveals it to us. We are not alone; we are partners!

Through the sealing ordinances of the temple, special powers are given to parents to tether a child to them. Harnessing that power is the discovery of a lifetime and an important step in assuming the work of God. We are novices, and God understands that we are getting on-the-job training. Therefore, he provides for us the principle of grace. Despite our weaknesses and failings, God ultimately is in control. Our children are being worked with by the greatest powers in the universe—and these beings never consider failure as an option. They are very good at what they do—the best! They are the ones who extend the promises and affect the miracles. They understand timing, circumstances and relationships. There really is no way we can distance ourselves from the love of God.

We partner with God by means of our covenants, and he allows us to vitalize his plan of salvation for our wayward children by means of our personal sanctification. The highest level of sanctification comes through temple worship, and the temple is where we receive many of our answers. The more we learn about the covenants, priesthood and the ordinances of the priesthood, the more power is infused into our life. Then gospel becomes a tool rather than a culture. The power of the temple ordinances is greater than any of us understand. Eventually, they will reel a wayward child home.

Embracing the “Easy” Answer

Is the solution for spiritual rescue too Sunday School—another pat answers for an extremely difficult problem? Amazingly, the gospel is simple. In explaining how easy it was to harness the power of the Liahona, Alma said, “O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so was it with our fathers; for so was it prepared for them, that if they would look they might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever.”[viii]

Is it really that easy? The solution, yes; the effort, not necessarily. Nevertheless, the prophets’ promises are so many and so unqualified that they give us cause to center our hope in Christ and move forward. The divine resources that are available to us are amazingly expansive, and the vast body of confirming evidence of eventual success is overwhelming. Therefore, to discount the Lord’s power to reclaim, even from incredible distances, or to minimize the power that the Lord has placed within our reach is to disparage the redeeming power of the infinite and universal atonement of Jesus Christ.

Absolutely, there is hope.

Author’s Note:

Note: This article is adapted from Rescuing Wayward Children. Follow this link to learn more.

Also, to receive a sample of my new 5-book series, The Three Pillars of Zion, Click here.

[ii] 1 Nephi 19:23.

[iii] Mosiah 26:1-4.

[iv] Mosiah 27:8.

[v] James E. Faust, “Dear Are The Sheep That Have Wandered,” Ensign, May 2003.

[vi] D&C 68:25, 28.

[vii] David A. Bednar, “In the Strength of the Lord,” Ensign, Nov 2004, 76–78.

[viii] Alma 37:46.

If you are a parent with a wayward child and feel the associated pain and guilt, maybe you should step back and go a little easier on yourself. This world is a hard place; in fact it is one of the hardest places. Because we have the inherent ability to acclimate to our environment, we get used to conditions and imagine them as normal. But not in this case. Not here on this earth.

A heartbreaking story

One writer in Idaho contributed this sad but familiar story:

“Our community in Idaho is predominantly LDS. People move here from all over the United States to escape wickedness and to give their children a fighting chance to grow up clean and safe. I wonder if such a place exists anymore.

“My sister, Lisa, began using drugs when she was twelve and in grade school. She started with alcohol and tobacco and progressed to street drugs such as marijuana and cocaine. By the time we realized what was happening, she was already in the early stages of addiction. When we did our first intervention on her, she was in the late stage of addiction and her chances of recovery were not very good. By the time she was a young adult we had already spent tens of thousands of dollars on treatment, wiping out my parents’ precious resources. Lisa’s addiction caused untold suffering for our family.

“After the second intervention, Lisa remained sober for four years, but after her third failed marriage, she began to use again and she has never stopped. She has done jail time and destroyed her health; she cannot keep a job, and she has damaged or destroyed most of the important relationships in her life. Drug addicts end up dead, in jail or insane. In rare cases and with great effort, they overcome and recover. That is our hope.

“Amazingly, Lisa is still alive, and at the moment she is not in jail. With such bleak prospects, some people ask me what keeps us going. The answer is as long as Heavenly Father doesn’t give up on her, neither will we. We love her and pray for her, and we are ever watching for yet another opportunity to help her. And if the next opportunity is not successful, we will wait for another.

“We will never give up on Lisa. We are assured that sometime, somewhere there will be another opportunity to help her, and we are doing all we can to prepare ourselves to be ready when that day comes. That is our faith and our peace.”

The battle for the universe is here

Our world is far from normal. It is the exception. This is the place where the war that began in heaven plays out–a war of gargantuan proportions and eternal and universal implications, a clash of Titans, if you will.

Here on this earth, we are experiencing the continuing conflict between the two greatest powers in the universe-their fight to the death, so to speak. We know the outcome, of course, but in the meantime, we are caught in the middle of a war that only a God could wage. And there are casualties-billions of them. This earth seems to be a frontline of a cosmic battle where sides are drawn…again. One side is for the Eternal God and his Christ; the other side is for Lucifer, the usurper and impostor, the one who would wrest the kingdom from the Father and proclaim himself god.[2]

When we align with Heavenly Father, we are at enmity[3]-enemies–with the devil, and he will use every resource at his disposal to injure and destroy us, including targeting our children. There is no mercy in him, only eternal hatred. Once in the distant past, we helped to defeat him, and he remembers. That fact alone should cause us to shudder; it should summon our constant vigilance to “watch and pray always lest [we] enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have [us].”[4] So why should we be surprised when Satan aims for us, ambushes our children, and enjoys it?

We are in good company

When our children are attacked, we can take some comfort in knowing that we are not alone. In fact we are in some pretty good company. Other righteous parents have suffered the artillery launched by Satan toward their children: Adam and Eve; Isaac and Rebekah; Jacob and Rachel; Lehi and Sariah; Alma the Elder and his wife; King Mosiah and his wife; even Joseph and Lucy Mack Smith had a problem child, William, and so did Mary the mother of Jesus, who, after Joseph died, struggled with her disbelieving children, who could not accept the fact that their older brother, Jesus, was the long-anticipated Messiah.[5] Clearly, no family is immune.

Therefore, when we feel the war intrude upon our family, perspective might help. Perspective tells us that, as telestial worlds go, we are not in a “normal” environment. Perspective tells us that we do not face a typical enemy; even the worst tyrants who have ever lived are tame compared with the master tyrant who taught and controlled them. Perspective tells us that both our circumstance and our adversary are extraordinary. Perspective opens our eyes to see things as they “really are,”[6] and to see our children and ourselves for who we “really are.” Such perspective, then, directs us to the only Power upon whom we may draw strength to do the work of reclamation and redemption, which only a god can do.

A cosmic perspective of local wickedness

A theatrical technique to awe an audience is to begin the show in front of the curtains, and then, when the introductory act is completed, to draw back the curtains to reveal the majestic sets. The more the curtains are withdrawn the more the audience sees until it is thoroughly immersed in this new world on stage.[7]

Enoch experienced this drawing back of the Lord’s curtains. In vision, the Lord began by parting the veil and showing Enoch some of the workmanship of his hands. Of course, Enoch was awestruck. Struggling for comparatives, he exclaimed, “And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of earths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy creations; and thy curtains are stretched out still…”[8] revealing infinitely more.

In that cosmic view of the universe, Enoch saw “millions of earths like this,” and likely he saw the “inhabitants thereof,”[9] other sons and daughters of God. Then, as he wondered, he saw the Lord weeping. How could this be? Why, in the midst of the grandeur of eternity would the great Creator of the universe weep? So Enoch asked, and the Lord responded with an answer that should give every parent in Zion cause to tremble: “…among all the workmanship of mine hands there has not been so great wickedness as among thy brethren.”[10]

Interpreted narrowly, the Lord’s answer might be thought to reference only Enoch’s generation. That was the generation preceding the great Flood, which, by all accounts, was a generation so wicked that it warranted destruction, a generation that some have suggested was destroyed because its children no longer had a chance to grow up without being overwhelmed by pervasive sin. But because Enoch was enjoying a sweeping view of the ages, we might interpret the Lord’s statement as including us in the last days.

The latter days are among the worst

Therefore, we latter-day parents realize that our children are at terrible risk. Enoch saw that our day would be much like his-a day defined by gross wickedness, the likes of which would equal then exceed the depravity achieved by the people in the days of Noah. “But as it was in the days of Noah, so it shall be also at the coming of the Son of Man….”[11]

The message is clear: Enoch’s “brethren,” who would live upon this earth across the ages of time, would sink to one of the lowest levels in all the universe, and scripturally we understand that some of the worst conditions are here and now. Brigham Young said,

We are inhabitants of a world of sin and sorrow; pain and anguish, every ill that can be heaped upon intelligent beings in a probation we are heirs to. I suppose that God never organized an earth and peopled it that was ever reduced to a lower state of darkness, sin and ignorance than this. I suppose this is one of the lowest kingdoms that ever the Lord Almighty created….[12]

Speaking of the evils facing our youth in “epidemic proportions,” President Boyd K. Packer, said, “These are days of great spiritual danger for our youth.” Continuing he said that he knew of no time when worse things were so widely accepted in the world, not even in the time of Sodom and Gomorrah. While evil was localized then, he pointed out, it has now spread across the world.[13] Sodom and Gomorrah and the world of Noah are examples of civilizations whose wickedness became so oppressive that it strangled agency and overwhelmed children before they could make informed choices. Such conditions demand extermination for the merciful sake of the children.

The impact of our world’s wickedness on the host of heaven

Evidence that our world and situation are extraordinary can be found in a further reading of Enoch’s vision. After the Lord reminded his prophet that no wickedness in the universe exceeds that which is found upon this earth, he stated, “…the whole heavens shall weep over them, even all the workmanship of mine hands….”[14]

We are being watched!

The events that transpire on this earth are likely viewable by heavenly hosts, who see us and mourn. The powers of darkness that prevail upon this earth and the enemy that has combined against us have corrupted all flesh “in the presence of all the hosts of heaven, which causeth silence to reign, and all eternity is pained.”[15] Imagine!

Have you ever witnessed something so abhorrent that speech fails you? What you are viewing “causeth silence to reign.” Such may be the case with “the hosts of heaven.” With jaw-dropping disbelief, they are evidently sickened to the point of silence. All eternity is pained. The awful wickedness that occurs on this world apparently rouses profound anxiety among even the angels of God who await “the great command to reap down the earth, to gather the tares that they may be burned.”[16] There could be no other divine reaction; there never has been. Only the patience and mercy of God stays certain retribution for the sake of his elect.[17]

The unique identity of this world

The hosts of heaven have a good reason to watch us. Here, their Savior came to work out the universal atonement to make the inhabitants of all other the worlds “begotten sons and daughters unto God.”[18] Moreover, this world is destined to be crowned with glory and the presence of God the Father[19] and belong to Christ[20] and his saints,[21] which suggests that this earth–presently one of the lowest, darkest and most wicked object in the heavens–will be exalted high in the heavens and become one of the greatest and most brilliant luminaries in the universe, a significant celestial kingdom where Christ shall dwell.

Therefore, extremes define our earth, and the “hosts of heaven” are watching. Some of the worst acts of wickedness and some of the greatest act of righteousness have been and are being played out on this planet. The salvation of the universe depends on the success of events that happen here. This should tell us something about our children and ourselves. We–our children and us–have strengths beyond our imagination, and over time the Lord will help us remember then employ our abilities to do the work of redemption among those who are temporarily deceived or wounded in this benighted world.

Prophetic description of our time

Nephi’s vision of the latter-days is chilling.

And it came to pass that I saw among the nations of the Gentiles the formation of a great church. And the angel said unto me: Behold the formation of a church which is most abominable above all other churches, which slayeth the saints of God, yea, and tortureth them and bindeth them down, and yoketh them with a yoke of iron, and bringeth them down into captivity. And it came to pass that I beheld this great and abominable church; and I saw the devil that he was the founder of it. And I also saw gold, and silver, and silks, and scarlets, and fine-twined linen, and all manner of precious clothing; and I saw many harlots. And the angel spake unto me, saying: Behold the gold, and the silver, and the silks, and the scarlets, and the fine-twined linen, and the precious clothing, and the harlots, are the desires of this great and abominable church. And also for the praise of the world do they destroy the saints of God, and bring them down into captivity. [22]

In the language of war, Nephi describes an organized effort to slay the saints. The sole purpose of the “great and abominable church”-for it truly is a consuming religion to its founder and its adherents-is to torture, bind down, yoke with a yoke of iron, and bring down into captivity the covenant people. To accomplish this “slaying,” the devil dangles bait like a fisherman will dangle a lure to entice fish to bite. Whereas tragically the young and inexperienced are often the most fascinated by the lures and draw close and are caught, the older and wiser recognize the lures for what they are and seldom pay them any mind.

In the devil’s creel is an impressive arsenal of lures-if he can’t catch us with one he will simply change lures and keep trying. According to Nephi’s vision:

• The pursuit of wealth is a lure-”gold and silver.”
• Fashion and materialism are lures-”silks and scarlets and fine-twined linen, and all manner of precious clothing.”
• Sexual sin of every variety is a lure-”many harlots.”
• Peer acceptance and popularity are lures-”praise of the world.”

Whether or not these lures are employed singly or in combination, or whether or not they are chosen or imposed upon us, the intention is the same-”to destroy the saints of God, and to bring them down into captivity.” With some degree of confidence, then, we can retrace a child’s footsteps to waywardness–by his choice or by his victimization–to his being hooked by one of the devil’s lures.

Even Satan seems to be amazed by his success

Is Satan’s strategy working to deceive and destroy even the very elect?[23] Evidently better than he had hoped. He has made us to “bow down with grief, sorrow, and care, under the most damning hand of murder, tyranny, and oppression.” He has “strongly riveted the creeds of the fathers, who have inherited lies, upon the hearts of the children, and filled the world with confusion,” which condition of wickedness and confusion has been “growing stronger and stronger, and is now the very mainspring of all corruption, and the whole earth groans under the weight of its iniquity. It is an iron yoke, it is a strong band; they are the very handcuffs, and chains, and shackles, and fetters of hell.” Satan has been so successful that even he is astonished. His “dark and blackening deeds are enough to make hell itself shudder, and to stand aghast and pale, and the hands of the very devil to tremble and palsy.”[24]

Perspective and hope

This would be a dismal view were it not for Jesus Christ, who anticipated, suffered for and overcame each problem that every wayward child encounters. Therefore, he can speak with optimism when he promises a successful outcome. Why? Because he has already accomplished the outcome. He knows!

Joseph Smith said, “I have a declaration to make as to the provisions which God hath made to suit the conditions of man…. What has Jesus said? All sin, and all blasphemies, and every transgression, except one, that man can be guilty of, may be forgiven; and there is a salvation for all men, either in this world or the world to come…. Hence God hath made a provision that every spirit in the eternal world can be ferreted out and saved…. God has wrought out a salvation for all men…and every man who has a friend in the eternal world can save him…. And so you can see how far you can be a savior…. Hence the salvation of Jesus Christ was wrought out for all men, in order to triumph over the devil; for if it did not catch him in one place, it would in another; for he stood up as a Savior.”[25]

Despite what may seem as evidence to the contrary, our children are ultimately safe in this wicked world. And so are we.

________________________________________
[1] Gordon B. Hinckley, “Inspirational Thoughts,” Ensign, September 2007
[2] See D&C 29:36
[3] Moses 4:21
[4] 3 Nephi 18:18
[5] See John 7:5
[6] Moses 7:30
[7] Jack Marshall drew this analogy in a 2002 BYU Education Week presentation
[8] Moses 7:30
[9] D&C 76:24; 88:61
[10] Moses 7:36
[11] JS Matthew 1:41
[12] George D. Watt, ed., Journal of Discourses, Vol. 10, p.175
[13] Boyd K. Packer, “One Pure Defense,” CES Devotional, February 6, 2004
[14] Moses 7:37
[15] See D&C 38:11-12
[16] D&C 38:12
[17] See JS-Matthew 1:20
[18] D&C 76:24
[19] D&C 88:19-20
[20] D&C 130:9
[21] D&C 103:7
[22] 1 Nephi 13:4-9
[23] Matthew 24:24
[24] D&C 123:7-10
[25] Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 356-57, emphasis added

The following story is disturbingly common:

“Marie,” a mother in Arizona, wrote, “Nothing could have prepared me for the excruciating pain of my first delivery. I had thought that I wanted to have the full experience, so I turned down the epidural. I did fine for the first few hours, and then my water broke. The sudden, blinding pain was more than I could bear, and I was only dilated to ’3′-I had hours to go. When the nurse offered me the epidural, I gladly agreed. In fact, when the doctor was delayed because he was treating another patient, I began to panic. I couldn’t get relief from the pain fast enough. At the time, I thought, Who would knowingly go through pregnancy and delivery again? But for as much pain as I experienced that day, it was nothing compared to the spiritual suffering I experienced when that same, sweet little boy chose drugs over school, immorality over chastity, friends over family–he abandoned the Church and broke my heart.”

Mormon was not just an observer of the future; Mormon was a prophet with remedies for the latter-day epidemic of waywardness. If we parents will internalize his message, we need not stand by and wring our hands. Powerful gospel tools are at our disposal, which arm us so that we can actively attack this problem and win. The Book of Mormon, modern-day prophets, and the Lord have promised!

The Book of Mormon Parallel

To help us, Mormon chose powerful examples from his history that would correspond with his vision of the last days. Regarding waywardness, he chose the story of Alma the Elder and his son.

To set up the story, Mormon related an important incident regarding the Nephite “pioneers,” whom the Lord had delivered and brought to their land of promise. The similarity between the Nephite pioneers and our forefathers does not escape us. Those stalwart parents, who had sacrificed so much to establish their Zion in Zarahemla were now rearing children who did not believe, as had their parents. Here is how Mormon describes these children of the next generation: 

Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers. They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ. And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened. And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God.

This frightening account of children abandoning their parents’ beliefs and following paths of carnality and sin is played out in too many LDS families. Mormon made the point that no set of parents, not even the king of the land or the prophet of God, is safe from the effects of the plague of wayward children: “Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma, after his father….” Clearly, Satan can reach into any family and snatch away any of our innocent children.

No Grief is as Acute

Of course, when this happens to us, we feel grief-stricken, isolated, ashamed and guilty. In vain we internalize and personalize the child’s bad behavior: “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see this coming?” We groan under the weight of apparent scriptural indictments: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”

Perhaps worst, we feel helpless to change things. Should we employ tough love and risk destroying the relationship? Or should we silently watch and mourn and risk losing the child completely? Where are the answers? Where is power to change things?

There is an Answer

Mormon knew what parents could do. So did the ancient prophets, and so do the modern prophets. It is a common scriptural and prophetic theme. We begin with admission: the sickness of spiritual waywardness is a spiritual problem that needs a spiritual remedy. To lay the groundwork for spiritual healing to occur, we need at least three spiritual tools:

1. Perspective. We need to remember that the Fall has rendered us significantly impotent. We feel sin ever beckoning us, and we cannot escape the realities of corruption, aging, disease and opposition. Clearly, mortality is a hard experience for our children and for us.
2. Grace. We cannot make it alone. The Fall would be an impossible situation to negotiate without divine intervention and help. Only Jesus Christ can give us the strength to persevere, overcome. and do good works.
3. Strength. Strength to do what? We seek strength to change our circumstance–not to eliminate it. We seek strength to believe in and draw upon the power of the Atonement, where there is infinite power to affect a change. We seek strength to believe that the Lord is bound to us by covenant, and therefore there are promises that we can count on. We can tap into the Lord’s power and change our situation.

For parents to become agents of change and people who are capable of acting in the strength of the Lord, we must reevaluate our level of belief in the Plan of Redemption and adopt a new perspective. Perhaps we need to reexamine our faith and ask ourselves some questions.

• Do we simply believe that Christ exists, or do we believe who he really is-the Deliverer?
• Do we believe that the gospel is a nice culture, or a vibrant system of reclaiming and redemptive tools?
• Is our child’s waywardness indicative of our personal failing, or is his waywardness indicative of a divine trust?
• Did Heavenly Father foresee this season of spiritual sickness, or did it catch him off guard? 
• If he knew about it, did he plan for it? 
• Am I alone? Do I have to fret and come up with a plan to save my child, or is there already a plan of salvation in place, and I just need to learn and do my part?
• If what I am going through is a calling rather than a curse, was I prepared for it? Can I count on God making me equal to my calling?

So what do we learn from Mormon? Why did he direct our attention to wayward Alma and the wayward sons of Mosiah? The answer lies in what Alma the Elder did: He sanctified himself. Rather than put his energy into changing his son, he put his energy into changing himself, and that effort facilitated a spiritual awakening for his son.

This is the lesson that we learn from Alma the Elder: Every effort that parents make to increase their level of sanctification has a direct redeeming effect on their children. In other words, the redeemed parents partner with the Redeemer to do the redeeming. Therefore, we do not have to sit by and helplessly watch a child spin out of control. We can go to work, and the primary work we will do is on ourselves. Speaking of this principle and stating a promise, Brigham Young said,

Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang.

The gospel of Jesus Christ absolutely holds the spiritual solution for spiritual waywardness.

Divine Positioning

The gospel centers on redemption. Period. Redemption is the primary work of the Gods. Redemption is also the work that we signed up to do, because we desired to become like the Gods. Therefore, redemption is the work that we will be doing throughout eternity. Is it any wonder then that God gives us opportunities to learn redemptive skills? Clearly, God has redemption in mind when he places struggling children with faithful parents. How could we believe otherwise? Do we really believe that God, who created and organized the universe, simply rolls the dice and hopes for the best when he sends children into our families?

Elder Neal A. Maxwell called family placement “divine appointment,” or we might say divine positioning. This organizational method often calls for weak children to be placed with strong parents, strong children to be placed with weak parents, or strong individuals to marry into weak families. Why? To do the work of redemption. BYU professor, Catherine Thomas, said, “God may place spiritually challenging children in homes of spiritual and conscientious parents for their mutual benefit.”

Possibly countless ages of divine premortal observation and planning determined our children’s mortal placement. Beyond every other consideration our children’s familial placement was meant to rescue them and to magnify their opportunity to advance toward exaltation. Even the difficulties they would experience could serve to save and exalt them. Heavenly Father’s house is a house of order!

Sweeping Prophetic Promises

Of course, nothing trumps agency, and no guarantee could ever been made that a child will ultimately choose to turn from a life of waywardness. Nevertheless, these principles are so powerful that the prophets have used very little qualifying language in making universal and incredible promises. The atonement has a much greater reach than we might imagine. Joseph Smith said, “Our Heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive.”

Then come the promises:

 ”There is never a time when the spirit is too old to approach God. All are within the reach of pardoning mercy.”–Joseph Smith

 ”God hath made a provision that every spirit in the eternal world can be ferreted out and saved.” –Joseph Smith

 ”I tell you that when the prophets and apostles go to preach to those who are shut up in prison, thousands of them will embrace the Gospel. They know more in that world than they do here.”– Wilford Woodruff

 ”When the gospel is preached to the spirits in prison, the success attending that preaching will be far greater than that attending the preaching of our elders in this life. I believe there will be very few indeed of those spirits who will not gladly receive the gospel when it is carried to them. The circumstances there will be a thousand times more favorable.”–Lorenzo Snow

 ”God has fulfilled His promises to us, and our prospects are grand and glorious. Yes, in the next life we will have our wives, and our sons and daughters. If we do not get them all at once, we will have them some time…. You that are mourning about your children straying away will have your sons and your daughters. If you succeed in passing through these trials and afflictions…you will, by the power of the priesthood, work and labor, as the Son of God has, until you get all your sons and daughters in the path of exaltation and glory. This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains. Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them, or give heed to your counsels. Inasmuch as we succeed in securing eternal glory, and stand as saviors, and as kings and priests to our God, we will save our posterity.” – Lorenzo Snow

“Jesus had not finished his work when his body was slain, neither did he finish it after his resurrection from the dead; although he had accomplished the purpose for which he then came to the earth, he had not fulfilled all his work. And when will he? Not until he has redeemed and saved every son and daughter of our father Adam that have been or ever will be born upon this earth to the end of time, except the sons of perdition. That is his mission. We will not finish our work until we have saved ourselves, and then not until we shall have saved all depending upon us; for we are to become saviors upon Mount Zion, as well as Christ. We are called to this mission.” — Joseph F. Smith

“You parents of the wilful and the wayward! Don’t give them up. Don’t cast them off. They are not utterly lost. The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours–long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fulness of knowledge brings the fulness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend.”–Orson F. Whitney

“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared-and he never taught a more comforting doctrine-that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” –Orson F. Whitney

 ”Those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents. Nothing except the unpardonable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie. If children do not sin as John said, ‘unto death,’ the parents may still feel after them and eventually bring them back near to them again.”–Joseph Fielding Smith

 ”I leave my blessing upon you. May there be…a sense of security and peace and love among your children, precious children every one of them, even those who may have strayed. I hope you don’t lose patience with them; I hope you go on praying for them, and I don’t hesitate to promise that if you do, the Lord will touch their hearts and bring them back to you with love and respect and appreciation.”–Gordon B. Hinckley

Such optimism from the prophets for eventual success should kindle hope within any parent’s despairing heart. These empowering principles and promises should be good news for us. Rather than languishing in hopelessness, while watching our children die spiritually, we can employ the sanctifying principles found in the Plan of Redemption and expect miracles to happen.

And miracles do happen!

There is Hope

The powerful principles in the Plan of Salvation are within the reach of anyone who is willing to exert the effort. Is there a need? A survey of any ward in the Church or a scan of Conference talks should provide the answer. Spiritual waywardness is epidemic. You are not alone! In fact you are in good company. Some of the best parents who have ever lived have struggled with wayward children–so much so that one begins to wonder if this situation is not common to the mortal experience. Perhaps a wayward child is not a curse after all; maybe the child is a trust. Nevertheless, this epidemic was foretold in the scriptures, and a remedy was prescribed. Once parents become acquainted with these redemptive principles, miracles often happen.

The divine resources that are available to us are amazingly expansive, and the vast body of confirming evidence of eventual success is overwhelming. Therefore, to discount the Lord’s power to reclaim, even from incredible distances, or to minimize the power that the Lord has placed within our reach is to disparage the redeeming power of the infinite and universal atonement of Jesus Christ.

Absolutely, there is hope.

Invitation

This article was adapted from my newly released book Rescuing Wayward Children. I invite you to join my new Facebook group called “Rescuing Wayward Children.” 

Mosiah 27:8

D&C 68:25, 28

Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 208

M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger, Part 1,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship

For example, see 1 Corinthians 10:13; Romans 8:28; Ether 12:27

D&C 132:8

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 257

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 191

Joseph Fielding Smith, ed., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 356-57

G. Homer Durham, ed., The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, p. 152

[xii] Daniel H. Ludlow, ed., Latter-day Prophets Speak: Selections from the Sermons and Writings of Church Presidents, p.35

Lorenzo Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, p. 195

Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine: Selections from the Sermons and Writings of Joseph F. Smith, p. 442, emphasis added

Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p. 110

Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p.110

Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, vol 2, p. 90

Gordon B. Hinckley, Address given to the Saints in Great Britain, August 1995

The Book of Mormon parallel
To help us, Mormon chose powerful examples from his history that would correspond with his vision of the last days. Regarding waywardness, he chose the story of Alma the Elder and his son. To set up this story, he related an important incident regarding the Nephite “pioneers,” whom the Lord had delivered and brought to their land of promise.

The similarity between the Nephite pioneers and our forefathers does not escape us. Those stalwart parents, who had sacrificed so much to establish their Zion in Zarahemla, were now raising children who did not believe, as had their parents. Here is how Mormon describes these children of the next generation:

“Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers. They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ. And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened. And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God.”

This frightening account of children abandoning their parents’ beliefs and following paths of carnality and sin resonates in too many LDS families. Mormon made the point that no set of parents, not even the king of the land or the prophet of God, is safe from the effects of the plague of wayward children: “Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma, after his father….” Clearly, Satan can reach into any family and snatch away any of our innocent children.

No grief is as acute
Of course, when this happens to us, we feel grief-stricken, isolated, ashamed and guilty. In vain we internalize and personalize the child’s bad behavior: “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see this coming?” We groan under the weight of apparent scriptural indictments: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”

Perhaps worst, we feel helpless to change things. Should we employ tough love and risk destroying the relationship? Or should we silently watch and mourn and risk losing the child completely? Where are the answers? Where is power to change things?

There is an answer
Mormon knew the answer. So did the ancient prophets, and so do the modern prophets. It is a common theme, if we know where to find it. But first we have to admit that waywardness is, at least in part, a spiritual problem, and that part needs to be handled spiritually. Therefore, we need to start with three spiritual things:

1. Perspective. The Fall renders us significantly impotent. We ever feel sin beckoning us, and we cannot escape the realities of corruption, aging, disease and opposition. Mortality is a hard experience for our children and for us.
2. Grace. We cannot make it alone. The Fall is an impossible situation without divine intervention and help. Only Jesus Christ can give us the strength to persevere, overcome and do good works.
3. Strength. Strength to do what? Strength to change, not eliminate, our circumstance. Strength to believe in and draw upon the power of the atonement, where there is infinite power. Strength to believe that the Lord is bound to us by covenant, and therefore there are principles that allow us to tap into that higher power and change our situation.

For us to become agents of change, parents who are capable of acting in the strength of the Lord, suggests that we reevaluate our level of belief in the Plan of Redemption and adopt a new perspective. Perhaps we need to reexamine our faith. Do we simply believe that Christ is, or do we believe who he is? Do we believe that the gospel is a vibrant system of reclamation and redemption, or do we simply believe that it is a nice culture?

Rescuing wayward children all comes down to this: The gospel—the whole gospel—is true! And this is the lesson that we learn from Alma’s experience: Any effort that parents put forth to increase their level of sanctification has a direct redeeming effect on their children. In other words, the redeemed do the redeeming; the sanctified do the sanctifying. The gospel of Jesus Christ absolutely holds the spiritual solution for spiritual waywardness.

Sweeping prophetic promises
Of course, nothing trumps agency, and no guarantee could ever been made that a child will ultimately choose to turn from a life of waywardness. Nevertheless, these principles are so powerful that the prophets have used very little qualifying language in making universal and incredible promises. The atonement has a much greater reach than we might imagine.

Such optimism from the prophets for eventual success should kindle hope within any parent’s despairing heart. These empowering principles and promises should be good news for us. Rather than languishing in hopelessness, while watching our children die spiritually, we can employ the sanctifying principles found in the Plan of Redemption and expect miracles to happen.

And miracles do happen!

A psychologist in Utah shares his experience:

“When our teenage son abandoned the Church and fell into a life of alcohol, drugs and wonton sex, my wife and I were devastated. My reaction was to apply the principles of psychology to change the boy, but I soon discovered that this situation was beyond my training. I had never felt so disempowered. I had always thought that I could handle even the most difficult behavioral situations with my science, but as I watched my son free-fall into spiritual oblivion, I felt absolutely helpless.

“Remarkably, my wife came up with a solution. She had no professional training for this, but she was a student of the scriptures—the very thing she needed to be. I resisted her solution at first. It was too simple, I thought. Then I remembered that the Israelites had been asked to do an easy thing too: Look at the brass serpent and live. I was soon to learn that the principles affecting spiritual healing are just that simple, as simple as the gospel that spawned them. My wife’s solution was this: ‘We will pray and fast for our son. Then we will go to the temple twice a month, instead of once, and we will put his name on the prayer rolls in faith.’

“That struck me as a disappointing answer. I thought, ‘We are dealing with an urgent, complicated situation, for goodness sake; it calls for an urgent, complicated answer, not all this Sunday School stuff. Our son is dying, and all you can come up with is pat answers? Prayer, fasting, temple attendance—give me a break!’ I didn’t say this out loud, of course. For the sake of our marriage, I agreed to do as my wife recommended, but I held onto my psychology books, just in case.

“Over time, my wife extended more love to our son. Together, we prayed, fasted and upped our temple attendance. She found promises from the prophets and kept copies in her nightstand. She searched the scriptures for spiritual remedies. Despite our effort, things went from bad to worse. On several occasions, I picked up my son from jail. He would bring home his disgusting friends, who helped themselves to our food. He became belligerent and cursed at us when he didn’t get his way. But through it all, my wife urged patience, faith and perseverance.

“And then it happened! My wife and I had been praying for the Lord to send our son a conversion opportunity—not something that would interfere with his agency and force him out of his destructive lifestyle, but something that would provide him perspective and a clear choice. One night in a drunken stupor, he had an accident that threatened his life. In a miraculous way, he was spared. The situation was so miraculous that if defied explanation. He knew that this was not luck; he knew that God had saved him. Heavenly Father had given him a second chance, and he knew it. That experience opened the door. His accident involved immediate medical treatment. Lying in bed recovering, he was willing to talk about the spiritual implications of his actions. Now I could use my skills as a psychologist to discuss his behavior and emotional problems. Now all the sciences came together to heal our son.

“Although his complete spiritual recovery is still a work in progress, and although sometimes we feel that we are taking baby steps, we know that our son’s direction has turned 180 degrees and hope is on the horizon. He is active in the Church now. He is working with the Bishop for the restoration of is blessings. He is dating with his eye on the temple. I am convinced that my wife’s and my spiritual efforts opened the door for the Lord to offer our son a choice to change.

“I no longer resist my wife’s simple Sunday School answers. We search the scriptures with more purpose; we pray, fast and attend the temple with more purpose; we hold Family Home Evening and attend to our callings with more purpose. In the beginning, I had wanted to do something to change my son. But I had it all turned around. The Lord’s way is not man’s way. Spiritual healing requires another tactic. I learned that I had to change myself first then an opportunity came to my son. What a discovery!”

There is hope
The powerful principles in the Plan of Salvation are within the reach of anyone who is willing to exert the effort. Is there a need? A survey of any ward in the Church or a scan of Conference talks should provide the answer. Spiritual waywardness is epidemic. You are not alone! In fact you are in good company. Some of the best parents who have ever lived have struggled with wayward children. So much so that one begins to wonder if this situation is not common to the mortal experience. Perhaps it is not a curse after all; maybe it is a trust. Nevertheless, this epidemic was foretold in the scriptures, and a remedy was prescribed. Once parents become acquainted with these redemptive principles, miracles often happen.

The divine resources that are available to us are amazingly expansive, and the vast body of confirming evidence of eventual success is overwhelming. Therefore, to discount the Lord’s power to reclaim, even from incredible distances, or to minimize the power that the Lord has placed within our reach is to disparage the redeeming power of the infinite and universal atonement of Jesus Christ.

Absolutely, there is hope!
(Published on www.MeridianMagazine.com 7.16.08)