Larry Barkdull

 

Have you ever become so frustrated with your wayward child that you wish something difficult would happen to shake him up? Then you repent and go back to status quo. But what if your prayer was to ask for a conversion experience-something that would offer the child an opportunity to rethink his position and exercise his agency in a positive way?

 

Here are two stories from parents: one who is in the process of rescuing her wayward children, and another who prayed for an accident!

 

Dear Larry,

 

I’ve been happily reading your articles on Meridian Magazine.  I even printed a couple of them and studied and pondered.  Because of what I read, I began praying for my children and for opportunities to let them feel my love, preparatory to praying for conversion opportunities.  I have three adult sons–one died by suicide 17 years ago–so lots of pain in the parenting world for me!  And I have three adult daughters, and a twelve-year-old daughter. 

 

Our family is not only broken, it is fractured. I had “accepted’ that my adult children had made their choices to not be involved with the gospel, and I threw all my attention on raising the youngest. Then her father began to fight me for custody of her. During the struggle, I prayed mightily and was blessed with success, but ALSO the spirit whispered to me that I do have other children, who still need my love and attention. 

 

It was right then that I saw your articles on Meridian and realized that my parenting responsibilities are not over. There ARE things I can do! So I began to pray mightily for them, praying for opportunities to show my love for them (let’s start small!).  Last night, as I lay in bed, I realized that a miracle had occurred during that day: I had enjoyed ‘heart to heart’ talks with two of my adult daughters and another wonderful conversation with my youngest. All in one day!  The Lord had answered my prayers for “conversion opportunities!” He had quietly opened the door for me to show my love. 

 

I am working on strengthening myself spiritually, and praying more fervently for more opportunities to reach out to my children. I had given up, but now I realize that I can pray and sanctify myself, and the Lord will bless and help me. I realize that my children their agency, but I also have learned that I can pray and ask the Lord to bless them with opportunities to use their agency to rethink their position. And maybe it all starts with love and healing the relationship. Please tell your readers that we mothers should never underestimate the power of our love. That power can make us an instrument in the hands of the Lord in the lives of our children.

 

Thank you so much for opening my eyes!

 

 

Mom whose eyes were opened

 

 

 

 

Dear Mom Whose Eyes Were Opened,

 

 

You have made an important discovery: Love is the greatest power in the universe.

 

When we work with our wayward children, we must remember that we can no more change a person than a missionary can convert. Change and conversion are the Holy Ghost’s job. But sadly, often when we parents are faced with a challenge that only a god could tackle, we feel overwhelmed and alone. Actually, divine help rushes to our aid, as you have learned. Our object should be to infuse spiritual power into our lives so we can better participate in God’s plan of salvation for our child. As we do so, we make another discovery: Every effort we make to sanctify ourselves has a redeeming effect on the person for whom we are praying. When we make that discovery, we have learned one of the most valuable lessons in mortality–one that will follow us into eternity and fit us to become eternal parents, who will be doing the work of redemption forever.

 

Keep loving and praying. Things will turn out better than you can imagine.

Blessings!

Larry

 

 

Dear Larry,

I am a mother to six children, all of them are now grown and most are struggling. One of my sons came home after serving nine months of his mission. He was determined to repent of his sins, but found it harder than he had anticipated. His prison term is nearing an end, and I have observed in him the desire to repent and change his life. I know that this will take time, but hopefully he will be fully converted to the gospel. 

Another son returned from serving an honorable mission and served faithfully in various church callings until abruptly he changed his entire lifestyle within six months. He tells me that he knows that the gospel is true, but he can no longer live it as he was taught. Now he has chosen an alternate lifestyle.  Another son was a victim of abuse as a young child. He says the gospel is true, but living the commandments is too hard. He has also chosen an alternate lifestyle and questions why our church won’t accept it.

 I’m not exactly sure what I would like to say, but after reading several of your articles in the Meridian Magazine, I felt I needed to thank you for the view that you have opened up for me.  Hope has been dim for a long time, but now I realize that I should not have let it disappear in my life. I am learning to not give up. I feel a great chasm in my family. We are being split apart by our individual understandings of the gospel. It seems that each of us is standing on a different side of the bank, and as the chasm widens we drift farther apart.

I struggle to not dwell on mourning the choices of my sons. I try to receive strength and courage from the scriptures, and I strive to follow the examples of Lehi, Alma the Elder, and others as they relate how they dealt with their wayward children. Reading your articles has helped me to redouble my hold on the iron rod. I realize that I must endeavor to live the gospel as best I can, and continue to pray and hope that my children will eventually turn and seek the gospel with all their hearts. Again, thank you for your articles which give me hope and strength.

Hopeful Mother